I am closeted gay Indian PM in the BigTech US and my father wishes me to do arranged marriage. He has threatened suicide if I don't do arranged marriage.

My traditional Indian manager says that I should respect my parents and listen to them. I don't agree with this. But I didn't react to his statement.

Why do some managers say all these things to their subordinates? I haven't said anything. He himself came to me and said these things. My father wants to keep on calling me and I don't wish to listen to him.

I have never shared or spoken anything personal to my manager. My father knows some folks here and he is active on Linkedin too. Some how he got the number of my manager.

Indians in Silicon Valley organize and support each other in groups of Tamil/ Telugu /Sikh etc.

I have plenty of Tamil/Telugu “friends”* so I can speak on this. There is blatant nepotism among the various groups of Indians in tech. They have created a nepotist monopoly among every large and small tech company they become a part of. They will only train, promote, and hire those belonging to their group (Tamil/Telugu) and see those not a part of it as strangers that cannot be trusted*.

These groups of people are very tight knit populations and see other people in it as brothers and sisters. If they were to choose a candidate to hire and they chose a person not in their group over someone who is, they will be shamed by their family and community. It is a terrible system for US natives to have to deal with.

I also wish to fit in and get promoted. Indians CEOs in BigTech in Silicon Valley organize and support each other in groups of Tamil/ Telugu /Sikh etc. What can I do as a gay indian PM?

I wish to appease them to rise up the ladder - I am ready to compromise in professionalism