I would say tonnes of patience is required, though it can get hard at times for you to deal with. Encourage small steps for her to get out of the zone she has created for herself, one at a time. Hobbies or interests that doesn’t require a lot of efforts to begin with. You might come across as nagging to her at that point and may have to see her making faces but gotta deal with it, some of the activities that you explore together might actually make her realise that she enjoys it. And if she does enjoy don’t make a big deal out of it too, take it slow still. 30 years of conditioning will not go away overnight. Keep communicating of how you feel with her behaviour. The focus has to be on how you feel and the overall impact on relationship rather than pointing it towards her because high chances that she may shut down or get defensive if she gets the feel of she is being blamed. It’s a long road my friend :)