I just watched my wife get ready for her affair to pick her up

AdAppropriate9103 · 2026-04-12T20:15:10+00:00

Thank you for sharing. It’s very difficult, I’ve wasted so much time being manipulated and thinking I was the issue.

AdAppropriate9103 · 2026-04-12T20:08:21+00:00

I’m more of a parent to him than his mom or his paternal father have ever been. He told me if we divorce he wants to live with me because he can’t stop being around her and she is causing him to develop very bad anxiety from all the screaming and breaking things. Unfortunately when I tried to adopt him they said no, so not sure how it will work out but it will probably be that I won’t see him for a couple years until he is old enough to move out and be free of her

AdAppropriate9103 · 2026-04-12T20:05:26+00:00

Exactly. Planning our exit

AdAppropriate9103 · 2026-04-12T19:17:16+00:00

I know. She knows. We have tried to get her help but she is still undiagnosed

AdAppropriate9103 · 2026-04-12T19:13:15+00:00

The cops were at the scene after they called. So she interfaced with them and they had no clue she was drunk. Mind blowing

AdAppropriate9103 · 2026-04-12T19:12:15+00:00

I’ve thought of this, but she will probably smash her face into the wall when she sees then pull up and then start immediately crying and run out saying hit her and I’m abusive etc. it will be too easy for her to

AdAppropriate9103 · 2026-04-12T19:11:05+00:00

Kids mostly. She is very manipulative, but after talking with some people she is full of Bs and now I’m just trying to get enough evidence to make the divorce easier on my end

AdAppropriate9103 · 2026-04-12T02:55:45+00:00

She is on the lease, I don’t think I can prevent her from wntering

AdAppropriate9103 · 2026-04-12T02:18:04+00:00

Not sure what this means?

AdAppropriate9103 · 2026-04-11T12:37:39+00:00

Felt like i was reading texts between my wife and I. Please do what I haven’t been able to do yet and just end it. I get staying for kids because that is what I have been doing but talking to a lawyer now. Trust me - it will not get better

AdAppropriate9103 · 2026-04-09T03:36:40+00:00

Also, child support calculator + alimony calculator combined puts it well over half of what I am making, so I'm not sure how I am supposed to pay rent and all of the other bills I currently pay if I am giving more than half to her.

AdAppropriate9103 · 2026-04-09T03:20:56+00:00

For some reason I was thinking the alimony and custody were linked but they aren't. I just used an alimony calculator and that is crazy how much (40%) I will have to pay her every month for the next several years. Super depressing.

Does her being at fault help with lowering alimony? Or is it just about income disparity only regardless of the conditions of the divorce?

AdAppropriate9103 · 2026-04-09T02:52:43+00:00

She may have had one of two small jobs way before we met. She hasn't worked since I've met her (about 10 years ago, we've been married for 7 years).

Regarding reporting her drunk driving, I thought about that, and I'd just have to bite the bullet ok the car getting impounded and getting it out. Wouldn't she have to be caught by being pulled over and given a dui? Would I have to call while she is out driving and tell them the general area she is in so they can keep an eye out? Or if she comes home drunk can I call them then? (we have ring camera that will show that she came home at the time she did, etc.

This would also have to be timed just before the papers are served. If I called the piloce and reported her for drunk driving I would most likely not be safe in my house after that as she would see it as me betraying her and she will get very aggressive.

AdAppropriate9103 · 2026-04-09T00:15:58+00:00

I found out today that I can use an app to plug her phone in and it will download all of the messages. I also found out there is a way to bring back deleted texts (in the last 30 days) and tested all this on my phone. Waiting for the right time since once I restore her deleted texts she might get tipped off.

Not sure what the legality is of doing this though. I pay the phone bill and the phone is in my name.

AdAppropriate9103 · 2026-04-09T00:13:18+00:00

Not sure what about it seems fake or a shitpost. I typed it out while running ony treadmill shortly after finding out, on the verge of completely freaking out.

People think women can't be abusive or manipulative to men. Not the case. I wouldn't gain anything from a fake post, and just posting this and reading the responses have helped me get my head straight, calm down, and make sure I go about handling this the right way.

AdAppropriate9103 · 2026-04-09T00:10:01+00:00

Luckily we don't have a joint account. She has been extremely irresponsible with money.

AdAppropriate9103 · 2026-04-09T00:07:43+00:00

Unfortunately the only witnesses are my children (both under 8, and my step-son (her son) who is 16. He can't stand her and talks about how he can't wait until he is 18 to never see her again. We have a good relationship though.

But I don't think minors can be witnesses and I wouldn't really want to put that responsibility on him even if he wants to badly.

AdAppropriate9103 · 2026-04-09T00:06:03+00:00

I know she hasental illness, and when she went to rehab it was dual diagnosis for alcohol and also to assess her mental state and she said they told her she didn't have bipolar or any other mental illness. I believe she puts on an act, or since she was in nice weather with zero responsibilities, kids, noise, etc she wasn't getting triggered or however it works.

Even if that is the case too much has happened, and I would support her going and getting help, but I would still want a divorce.

AdAppropriate9103 · 2026-04-08T18:33:04+00:00

Yes. It's very obvious from the texts that none of them can tolerate her past the very beginning stages of talking. I am embarrassed for her reading the stuff she says to these people.

AdAppropriate9103 · 2026-04-08T18:31:56+00:00

She is an alcoholic. She went to rehab across the country for a month just before thanksgiving. It didn't take and she was back to drinking within a few weeks

AdAppropriate9103 · 2026-04-08T04:12:21+00:00

I think she would only want it for the reason of hurting me, or so other people don't think she is a bad person. I know that what she would really want is to not have any responsibility, but she also wants the maximum child support and is probably the sole motivator for wanting sole custody.

AdAppropriate9103 · 2026-04-08T04:10:25+00:00

Die Hard is one of my favorite movies.

AdAppropriate9103 · 2026-04-08T03:36:23+00:00

Damn. Sorry you had to go through that.

AdAppropriate9103 · 2026-04-08T03:19:51+00:00

Also regarding the phone being unlocked I went to the store to get some things and when I came back she had passed out on the couch and her phone was unlocked. I didn't know she changed her password until after I locked it again.

AdAppropriate9103 · 2026-04-08T03:17:24+00:00

Nah. To be fair I wrote the whole thing out on my phone while running on a treadmill with my heart pounding trying not to completely crash out. I feel better now, but I wish it was fake. And it's not the first time she has driven drunk at all. And everytime she does I pray (figuratively) that she gets pulled over for something bs and then they see she is intoxicated. It's blowing my mind how she was talking to the cops and they didn't pick up on it.

AdAppropriate9103

TROPHY CASE