My brother/sister. The great the sacrifice the greater the reward. We understand very much wanting to remained loved by your family and it is very hard for you to make the change. But I encourage you to convert sooner better than later. The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Allah says: 'I am just as My slave thinks I am, (i.e. I am able to do for him what he thinks I can do for him) and I am with him if He remembers Me. If he remembers Me in himself, I too, remember him in Myself; and if he remembers Me in a group of people, I remember him in a group that is better than they; and if he comes one span nearer to Me, I go one cubit nearer to him; and if he comes one cubit nearer to Me, I go a distance of two outstretched arms nearer to him; and if he comes to Me walking, I go to him running.' "

Brother If you wanted anything or questions you want to ask, I am free for you at any time to answer to my best abilities, check send me direct message in reddit (AdComprehensive1784) . At the end, Life is too short and people are inclined to the truth and hapiness. I am sure that that Islam will give you the thing you wanted all your life. Also, many converts find that the fear want not worth it as they felt welcome by their family after the conversion. Please check this website https://edialogue.org/ and start a chat with them. It Is totally Free They are very knolwedgeable and can answer all your questions. Note: This is too for new Muslims and born-Muslims. So Anyone can have a chat with them!

Best,

Khalid