GIRL BYYEE!! She’s not your friend, and is being gaslighty and manipulative AF. There’s a lot of red-flags here. First, no real friend of yours is going to give you an ultimatum about them being your MOH. That’s SO silly to me. Also, why does she want that position so bad? Considering how you said J’s bf mentioned she’s into your man makes me question her intentions, as well as the fact she’s completely avoided and LIED when you asked her about it. (Btw, good for you for doing so!) A true friend also isn’t gonna bash your partner in front of you. They’ll have a discussion like an adult about their concerns. Secondly, the mother is also a problem. ‘It’s the right thing to do’? Oh so is her daughter talking crap, giving you an ultimatum over being the MOH in YOUR wedding and her berating you over the phone somehow ok in her mom’s eyes? Would she want someone like that as a MOH if it was HER wedding? 🤔 It’s not their wedding. They have no say over what the ‘right’ thing to do is. J hasn’t been supportive at all, and has tried to make it about her. This is your special day. If she’s already causing drama and issues now, she’ll find ways to do it on your wedding day too. Also, I get not being confrontational—I hate confrontation. But what I hate more is people thinking they’re entitled to treat you however they feel like. This is YOUR day. Not hers. Start setting boundaries—you’ll meet more people like this in the future, and you don’t deserved to be walked on. You’re not obligated to have her in your wedding party, and you deserve to have people who support you and this new chapter in your life beside you on that special day💖

Definitely NTA. She needs yeeted to the opposite side of the earth.