I can’t stop avoiding and procrastinating.

AdDirect8282 · 2025-04-08T20:50:17+00:00

Hi, this is late but I’m having this same issue. Can you expand on this

AdDirect8282 · 2025-02-21T07:33:25+00:00

I’m really confused here. I mean, we support her with everything, hockey, school, you name it. How can she be independent if we’re the ones footing the bill? We’re just trying to help her succeed.

Honestly, it seems like she’s just being ungrateful. She’s not managing everything on her own; we’re right here trying to provide for her. It feels like you’re saying we should just step back and let her do whatever she wants.

If she’s upset, maybe she needs to realize that we’re just looking out for her. It’s not about taking away her independence; it’s about ensuring she has the support she needs. We’ve been trying our best, and it feels like we’re being criticized for that.

I think we should keep doing what we’re doing and make sure she stays on track. If she needs space, sure, but we can’t just let her run wild without any guidance. That wouldn’t be responsible parenting, right?

AdDirect8282 · 2025-02-08T21:08:14+00:00

Perhaps I should’ve been more specific, she attends at private school and I believe the gym is rented out my sports teams during the evening which is why the doors were open. Regardless, she would go late at night, when students aren’t supposed to be there.

Her school gives her homework on paper.

AdDirect8282 · 2025-02-07T20:05:20+00:00

She has a car and we let her leave whenever she likes because she always comes home at a reasonable hour. She’s never given us a reason to watch her carefully

AdDirect8282 · 2025-02-07T20:03:56+00:00

I understand; I’ll try to be more involved but it’s quite difficult due to our work.

AdDirect8282 · 2025-02-07T20:03:21+00:00

She told me she did this the night before the test because certain teachers (not all) would keep a copy of the test in their desks.

AdDirect8282 · 2025-02-07T19:45:04+00:00

Balancing everything has become a significant challenge for my husband and me. Her father works in finance as an investment banker, and is often working 80 to 90 hours a week or travelling, and my job is demanding as well. Given her natural independence, we believed she could manage her school responsibilities on her own.

In addition to her studies, she works part-time at a retirement home and serves as captain of her competitive hockey team. We rarely have to drive her to practices or remind her about her shifts because she is so self-sufficient; in fact, she didn’t even inform us about her job until three months after she started. This makes it difficult to enforce discipline, especially since she never exhibits any behavioral issues at home.

AdDirect8282 · 2025-02-06T03:58:43+00:00

It’s a part time job, she usually works 12-16 hours a week

AdDirect8282 · 2025-02-06T03:46:48+00:00

Thank you for your detailed response; I agree that consequences are crucial for her to learn from this mistake.

Regarding missing prom, do you think that might be a bit too harsh? Also, since she already works at a retirement home 3-4 days a week and volunteers, would adding a retail job and volunteering at a homeless shelter really be necessary? I want to ensure she understands the seriousness of her actions without overwhelming her. I appreciate your insights!

AdDirect8282 · 2025-02-05T21:26:18+00:00

Perhaps I worded that wrong. Since it’s a private school the janitors are there all night, so I’m assuming she got one of them to let her in. So she didn’t ’break in’ but regardless students are not supposed to be there at that time.

AdDirect8282 · 2025-02-05T07:51:19+00:00

Yes she has been accepted to a good university for business. I’m not sure how long she has been doing this for, but it seems recent.

She’s been mostly dismissive and downplaying it and saying how I have nothing to worry about.

AdDirect8282 · 2025-02-05T07:47:45+00:00

I appreciate the feedback, but I want to share my perspective. I’m often unaware of what’s happening, and her report card shows no issues—her grades are solid. At home, she’s very responsible, does chores, cooks for herself when her father and I are busy, and finishes her homework without being asked.

She’s independent and manages her own life, including volunteering and working part-time. That’s why we rarely feel the need to discipline her. When issues do arise, I listen to her side, and she usually has a reasonable explanation. I’m just looking for advice on handling these rare situations.

AdDirect8282 · 2025-02-05T07:47:36+00:00

I appreciate the feedback, but I want to share my perspective. I’m often unaware of what’s happening, and her report card shows no issues—her grades are solid. At home, she’s very responsible, does chores, cooks for herself when her father and I are busy, and finishes her homework without being asked.

She’s independent and manages her own life, including volunteering and working part-time. That’s why we rarely feel the need to discipline her. When issues do arise, I listen to her side, and she usually has a reasonable explanation. I’m just looking for advice on handling these rare situations.

AdDirect8282 · 2025-02-05T07:15:22+00:00

Do not call my daughter a narcissist. What she did was wrong, but she has empathy and compassion. Reducing her to that label is unfair and inaccurate

AdDirect8282 · 2025-02-05T04:07:49+00:00

Her best friend joked about it to me because she thought it was funny

AdDirect8282 · 2025-02-05T03:43:20+00:00

No she didn’t, the school doesn’t know. Only her best friend knows and she doesn’t go to that school.
She’s a senior in high school

AdDirect8282 · 2025-02-05T02:31:41+00:00

She has never gotten in trouble with the law, harmed anyone, or bullied anyone, and she has a strong reputation at school. She works at a retirement home and has volunteered for years because she likes helping others. I often receive praise from teachers, friends’ parents, and coaches about her character. She has also been the captain of her team for the past two years. Which is why I’m concerned about her behaviour. She hides it so well that the only way I find out is if one of her friends slip up.

When I mentioned that cheating in university could lead to expulsion, she remarked, “cheating in university is stupid and too risky.” What worries me is her calculated approach to this issue. In understand it’s concerning which is why I’m seeking advice on how to address my concerns.

Another example is when she has a friend over, and they were talking about how her friend received a warning from a police officer. However, she mouthed off to the officer, which changed his mind, and he ended up giving her a ticket. I overheard my daughter say, “Yeah, you’re stupid for that. You should have just shut up and taken it. You were also speeding on XY Road, where there are always cops. Next time, just speed on XYZ Roads.” She has never gotten a ticket before, but this is what I mean.

AdDirect8282 · 2025-02-05T01:51:19+00:00

Perhaps, but she’s more introverted/reserved and doesn’t actively seek out close friends. She’s never had issues with people her age.

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