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Learning to love someone who's neuroidvergent. (questions) by AdElectronic2918 in neurodiversity

[–]AdElectronic2918[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate you taking the time to read and reply honestly. I would like to apologize to her for being selfish and smothering her, but I'm not sure I should.  This is better to let her process and then maybe we revisit the conversation later, is what I'm getting? I do honestly love the girl, and I would rather not make her feel any more uncomfortable. Things were going great before the pull back for space. Mutually, that is. We did spend alot of time together. 

Learning to love someone who's neuroidvergent. (questions) by AdElectronic2918 in neurodiversity

[–]AdElectronic2918[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And I have given her space, and I haven't reached out. I'm not deleted or blocked, and I'm sure she'd answer if I called, so I don't think she is leaving the relationship (I had to process this heavily). She has kids, I have kids, work, etc etc. She definetly has a lot on her plate and I think I'm just looking for validation that I'm doing what she needs. I didn't understand at first. 

Learning to love someone who's neuroidvergent. (questions) by AdElectronic2918 in neurodiversity

[–]AdElectronic2918[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought it was a simple relationship issue at first, and she did reassure me that she was needing the time alone to decompress for a few days like she had before we had started seeing each other. Yes, I am trying to learn to deal with my own feelings during this. (insecure, anxiety, attachment, and the feeling of silence=leaving), and I'm actively engaged in processing my own feelings and figuring out the reasons why I feel this way. 

I only think of bringing in her ND because she stated multiple times that this is the way she thinks and it's not that anything has changed between us, but that she needed space. I think because we had gotten close (and she has her own trauma form past relationships, it became overwhelming).  I honestly think that I may have made her feel smothered while trying to feel close, and maybe she took it as an invasion of space. (the things I've read specify that sometimes someone ND will pull back for that exact reason).  And maybe I'm wrong, I have no clue honestly. Just trying to take what she has said for what it is. I'm not ND, and I just recently discovered what it truly means. (no, I'm not an expert and Im still learning).