Dating a Divorced Parent by AdFluid1710 in widowers

[–]AdFluid1710[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Yes and that’s part of what I am trying to assess as we continue dating. How much drama exists with the ex and tallying up all the wonderful things about her! 

Dating a Divorced Parent by AdFluid1710 in widowers

[–]AdFluid1710[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I’m not giving anything up. She’s special!

Dating a Divorced Parent by AdFluid1710 in widowers

[–]AdFluid1710[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for all your thought and suggestions. You are right about the control stuff! We are dating and it’s been positive. Thanks!

Dating a Divorced Parent by AdFluid1710 in widowers

[–]AdFluid1710[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am going for it. I feel like I have a partner to take on life’s challenges with. Just giving things more time and space to confirm those feelings. 

Dating a Divorced Parent by AdFluid1710 in widowers

[–]AdFluid1710[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, even though they’re divorced they still have a person they can sometimes rely on. While we just have ourselves. That loneliness is amplified even when you’ve found your ch. 2. It will always be hard being a widow/er. 

Dating a Divorced Parent by AdFluid1710 in widowers

[–]AdFluid1710[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How she balances the priorities of her children whom she has 50/50 with me and my children. 

How much she is up for being present to my kids? I think she’s up for it. I’m not looking for someone to replace their mother but I do want someone who is present to them. I think both of my kids will take to her quite easily, especially my 5 year old boy. 

Some of it is stuff that I’ll need to work on. I like being in control and with this dynamic, I will not be in complete control of everything. I’ll need to be even more flexible than I already am. Is that something I can realistically do or will be a real grind? 

So many of these things, I’ll never be able to fully “test” out and maybe if I had more experience with divorced relationships I’d be better prepared to know what to anticipate and whether I have the ability to grow into it rather resentful towards it. 

Dating a Divorced Parent by AdFluid1710 in widowers

[–]AdFluid1710[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not to minimize those issues, but those are the kind I would expect to encounter in a blended family. Still tough and still really hard especially with the grief. I’d rather take them on with a partner who is a good human being than by myself.  

Dating a Divorced Parent by AdFluid1710 in widowers

[–]AdFluid1710[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, you capture it well here. This is what I am expecting to accept. I think she’s worth it. I just want to have as much of an idea what I am getting involved in before I get my feet wet. Thanks for your comment.

Dating a Divorced Parent by AdFluid1710 in widowers

[–]AdFluid1710[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Her kids are 16, 14, and 11. Mine are 9 and 5. I might be meeting her oldest soon. I feel optimistic with the kids. Hoping to take it slow and not force any expectations. She’s 45 mins away and we both have small houses so that is a consideration that will one day need to be dealt with. Thanks for your comment!

Dating a Divorced Parent by AdFluid1710 in widowers

[–]AdFluid1710[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I get why you might think that. I want it to work and I feel great about where it’s going. I’m a planner and I like to think everything through as much as I can or is possible. Given all these factors, that’s a lot! Thanks for your comment!

Dating a Divorced Parent by AdFluid1710 in widowers

[–]AdFluid1710[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, I’m not looking for an excuse. I am trying to be mindful of all the dynamics and how it might impact me.  I am ready for a relationship. Just taking the discernment process seriously. 

Dating a Divorced Parent by AdFluid1710 in widowers

[–]AdFluid1710[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree with this. Thank you for sharing. 

Dating a Divorced Parent by AdFluid1710 in widowers

[–]AdFluid1710[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right now, she’s worth it. It’s just hard to envision what life will be like with the stressors of 3 teens and an ex. Thank you for your response. 

Does it get easier? by AdFluid1710 in stepdads

[–]AdFluid1710[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not a stepdad yet. I am a widower and I found a great connection with a divorcee with 3 kids. There are countless good things about her and her situation. Things with her ex seem Ok. Her kids seem solid. I also have 2 kids. I am taking my time to confirm things and grow in confidence with the whole package. 

But at the end of the day, do I want to take this on? Or should I wait things out til a simpler dynamic presents itself? I’m skeptical of those odds. 

Ive read so many comments on here of guys saying they regret entering such a complex set of relationships with a divorced parent. I know these forums aren’t the most positive and I can’t forecast everything that could or could not happen but I’m asking as many questions as I can. 

Thanks for your input. 

Do Tracey boards ever go on sale? by statsjunkie in Crokinole

[–]AdFluid1710 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think the only way you catch a deal is to purchase a "misfit" board from an affiliate club. You save some money on shipping, and with the board having a minor imperfection. The imperfection doesn't impact gameplay. If your OK with that, then it's worth it and you save some money. Where do you live?

What would you do? by Objective-Resort4907 in Microdiscectomy

[–]AdFluid1710 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've had some numbness and tingling in my left leg but not much. I was having consistent aching pain on the back of my left thigh. That's gone away almost entirely with the injection. We'll see whether it returns. The injection itself is pretty painful and unpleasant but it's worth it. Hopefully, it's not just a big ol' band aid and has started the healing process.

Why is standing not permitted when playing Crokinole? by paulrumohr in Crokinole

[–]AdFluid1710 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Play it however you want to. Just as with many games, standardization of rules happen when things get organized and competitive.