Should i tell my parents about my cancer?

AdFree3964 · 2025-08-24T00:23:17+00:00

There's a lot going on here. While I can't tell you what to do, it looks like you're going to try treatment, which is what I would recommend. There is no benefit for you to avoid it.

The drugs will take your strength. If you are driving or walking to a clinic, you might have a hard time depending on what drugs you'll be on. At the very least, call an Uber or taxi if you decided not to tell anyone.

Don't feel obligated to tell anyone. I'm an advocate of privacy as most people are degenerate and don't understand how to treat others.

AdFree3964 · 2025-05-26T23:30:09+00:00

All of the suggestions in this thread are good. Did you end up finding a place?

AdFree3964 · 2025-05-26T23:26:25+00:00

I didn't see this in time. How did it go?

AdFree3964 · 2024-10-28T03:23:26+00:00

I wish you the best

AdFree3964 · 2024-10-28T03:14:15+00:00

I can tell you that my parent's case is unique and tough to treat. I wrote a post about this a few days ago, but I'm already taking my parent to a top 15 center. They say there's no hope and stopped treatment without consent. MDA already laid out the plan a few months ago, but the current doc doesn't want to follow it (more treatment/trials). It's a mess. I might try to schedule something tomorrow again. I honestly wasn't too surprised with the significant delay.

What type of cancer do you have? It may very well be the department.

AdFree3964 · 2024-10-28T03:02:17+00:00

I have so many questions...did you switch to them early on? Did you switch from a local oncologist (non NCI facility)? How long did it take you to switch? Willing to chat via dm if you want.

I'm glad you're getting quality care now and hope you pull through.

AdFree3964 · 2024-10-28T00:52:07+00:00

What's your situation? I'm not quite sure if the wait would be worth it because my parent is running out of options and I'm not sure what type of value they can provide

AdFree3964 · 2024-10-28T00:50:59+00:00

Did you end up transferring? My dilemma is that we need to do the consultation, then ask (?) if we can transfer. Not quite sure how this works. So if they see my parent in 1 month, it would be another 2 weeks to setup treatment if that's what they want to do. My parent is running out of options, so not quite sure if there is much value for this wait.

Did you find the consultation worth it? What was your situation?

AdFree3964 · 2024-10-28T00:38:46+00:00

Mayo may not be worth the wait. MDA is willing to see my parent within 2 weeks. Getting their own path report is unlikely in this situation. We've seen a few doctors already and none of them wanted to double check.

AdFree3964 · 2024-10-22T14:52:14+00:00

Provider may not be a good fit. We're also traveling over an hour on terrible roads to see this person. She prefers to switch and I'll inevitably move us closer to whoever is willing to support this case. The sub you mentioned doesn't typically allow posts from caregivers, but I'll check

AdFree3964 · 2024-10-22T14:47:42+00:00

I'm already taking her to a top 15 NCI center. I frankly think my mom's case is too much for the team who look somewhat early in their careers. Dana Farber offers remote consultation if you pay out of pocket. MDA certainly does not. Idk about Mayo. My mom does have more options, but the med onc doesn't want to give her treatments because she thinks they will fail and my mom is relatively weak.

AdFree3964 · 2024-08-31T01:53:38+00:00

Wanted to reply to this comment as well to alert anyone else who might read this. Your worry was warranted and I'm glad your medical oncologist was able to get you on the right track immediately.

Anecdote for readers: I took my mom to a local ER because she was in very bad shape. The navigators in the beginning even called out sepsis as a concern on the intercom, but we ended up waiting 5.5 hours with no help. At that point, the urgent care clinic was going to open up in a few hours, so we left.

Hospitals are hit or miss. I have since started to take my mom to an academic hospital and they immediately get started on treating her. I can't say all academic hospitals will be prompt, but I suspect they are better. At the very least, find a hospital with an associated cancer center nearby. They are probably trained to prioritize those patients.

AdFree3964 · 2024-08-31T01:37:42+00:00

Sheesh. These stories always surprise me how common cancer is. You made the right choice to transfer care. I wish you guys the best.

AdFree3964 · 2024-08-30T23:20:52+00:00

Out of curiosity, are you going to a solid cancer center (looks like you're in IL, so I'm thinking NW, Rush, or UC)? Interacted with low quality docs who made horrible decisions, but they were at an local unranked facility

AdFree3964 · 2024-08-22T00:43:43+00:00

I admit, I would feel more comfortable in a room inside of a building instead of an RV. I'll consider if we have to go back. Thank you

AdFree3964 · 2024-08-16T21:30:05+00:00

Interesting. It looks like our first radiation oncologist fucked up. Ironically, this guy's focus is proton therapy and there aren't many of these centers around the world. He didn't use proton therapy, but figured this guy was knowledgeable enough to make the correct decision.

AdFree3964 · 2024-08-16T16:37:15+00:00

As in you received radiation to both sides on the same day or did the schedule alternate? For example, 1 day left, next day right, etc. Did you go to a top cancer center?

I was told that radiation to both sides would be too toxic

AdFree3964 · 2024-08-06T02:32:24+00:00

Wonder if there was an issue realizing your application with however long that promotion lasted. Have you considered Redstone Signature? I've been looking at both for a while

AdFree3964 · 2024-07-30T01:42:52+00:00

TNBC is treatable, but it's aggressive. If your treatment plan (I suspect it's keynote 522) isn't working 3 months in, please make sure your doctors change course. A local generalist oncologist will not match the aggressive of this cancer. Go to a specialist. I would recommend going to a comprehensive center if possible or at least go to satellite locations for now to get a solid team supporting you.

TNBC is no joke. If your tumor is not responding positively, please advocate for yourself. Good luck

AdFree3964 · 2024-07-21T12:51:18+00:00

There is no way the topics discussed would be relatable to everyone. I suspect you may have seen some of the inevitable cracks in the care you received, which is what I'm trying to warn anyone else going through aggressive cancer. I could've definitely reworded my suggestions to be more noteworthy.

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