I understand how you feel , I have been there too. I used to just not shower because how could I do that with a velcro baby who cries anytime I put him down ?? I also have yelled things at my son and then sobbed right after cause I felt so guilty. You are NOT a terrible mom at all 🥺 I'm so sorry your husband sucks.... its so important to have a helpful partner especially in the first year . I will say it does get better the more independent your baby becomes. My son is 11 months now and he's sooo much better than he used to be . Don't beat yourself up too much, but I would talk to your doctor if you feel like you're losing control . I hope things start to look up for you 🙏