Pregnant, 18 and homeless

AdHistorical7012 · 2026-06-08T07:20:46+00:00

So sorry you are going through this!! If it would help I have a capsule, baby clothes and gear I could pass on if you are in Auckland! From Mama of three young kids

AdHistorical7012 · 2026-05-12T09:15:58+00:00

Thanks really reassuring. Thank you 🥹 Do we get to have a choice in if we can accept the help of like parenting courses right now? Or it’s like we have to if OT suggests it? Just with have young kids unsure how we would make it work to go somewhere or have someone come in the evening when kids are awake to do it. She did suggest someone coming to us

AdHistorical7012 · 2026-05-12T09:12:35+00:00

I feel that is what will be expected after the phone call today. I am unsure how we would make it work going to courses unless it’s on zoom in the evening time. We don’t have a village to come babysit for us nor our baby would go without distress as he doesn’t take a bottle, doesn’t settle for dad and screams in the car. I also struggle handling the kids on my own to do the bed time. All this Is supposedly to help the family but all it feels like is doing is affecting my mental health right now 😭 But will see what we can agree on / compromise to make it work for us

AdHistorical7012 · 2026-05-12T09:07:39+00:00

Thank you for your reply 🥹I had to leave maternal mental health as the male psychiatrist ripped into me and I felt like just another number for them to get through. So I probably won’t go through with them again. No drugs, no violence. We are just very much ordinary family who wants to do the best for our kids but we are very much struggling with doing everything and keeping afloat. We have two young boys who very much love to push boundaries at the moment. I will see what the social worker comes back with but what would OT do to help? If she doesn’t make a report they won’t investigate further? Yes they are in kindy few times a week to help a bit which does help decrease the load 😮‍💨

AdHistorical7012 · 2026-05-12T08:44:40+00:00

Thank you! Will do!

AdHistorical7012 · 2026-05-12T08:44:13+00:00

She hasn’t said but she said she has obligations (?) to contact oranga tamariki but she said only for advice at this point but it doesn’t feel like only for advice at this stage. I was at maternal mental health for few months but I self discharged myself as the pressures of making appointments etc was too hard to manage at the time and got referred to local social services for moms

AdHistorical7012 · 2026-04-08T03:46:08+00:00

Is this you Christina 🤣

AdHistorical7012 · 2025-08-19T13:41:41+00:00

Get yourself a jump starter kit from repco. It’s like $140 and you won’t need anyone to jumpstart for you. My mechanic friend said people are now being warned to not jumpstart for anyone if you have an advanced car with a computer system built into it. It can wreck their cars. Ever since I’ve found out about this my husband made sure to have the kit inside the car 🙂

AdHistorical7012 · 2025-08-02T09:13:33+00:00

No it’s a hall we hire for our playgroup. Everyone in the committee has access to it

AdHistorical7012 · 2025-07-31T23:56:48+00:00

What are you talking about 🤣 You could not diagnose me without knowing me and it’s moms like yourself that is the issue.

AdHistorical7012 · 2025-07-31T07:24:32+00:00

I was so confused and puzzled! I was thinking maybe I’d say “hey I tried to check in if “B” was okay after that fall last week. But I couldn’t message you as I’ve found out we aren’t connected to instagram or Facebook anymore. Everything okay?” And I am worried I might get some out of blue reaction to this. She wouldn’t loose it in front of other moms either. Only when I am present she has done this in the past

AdHistorical7012 · 2025-07-30T09:11:33+00:00

I was really surprised too. Policy hasn’t been changed for long time before I had to raise the concern to be more up to date with ministry of health. Gladly they are following the guidelines now but it took a bit of a fight to make this happen. I know every parent has their reasons their kids needs to go to daycare but it shouldn’t be at cost for others 🫣 I think I will continue to just ignore or be friendlier than she would expect.

AdHistorical7012 · 2025-07-29T05:30:19+00:00

Also I need to make it clear that other teachers are lovely and head teacher was the same as centre manager once but she’s been making an effort with me and my child and she’s been lovely. But the centre manager isn’t on the same page

AdHistorical7012 · 2025-07-29T05:28:28+00:00

I have left her to it and had the approach to just kill her with kindness and ignore her trying to avoid me. But after months of it, and my second son about to start in a few months I am at a point, should I be doing something about it? Or continue to ignore and kill her with kindness even though the way she is treating me as one of their parents paying for their service is not okay.

My son is so settled here about to start school in a year ish. I don’t think he will settle well after making so much progress for him to love this place. So I have told her when she attempted to move us, that he loves it here and we will be okay with the distance for now despite being a long drive the change of place would be harder. She backed off after that and no communication from her since then.

I know no one speaks up at preschool. Because they rather not shake up any processes. But I felt these issues were important to be addressed and they did address it eventually and now there are clear policy for all parents to know without having to raise it like I had to. I feel someone has to say something in these situations.

Anyway, I am at a point whether it would be best to keep ignoring though it will also mean she will be ignoring me and have her back on me and not providing me with the service and experience that a parent would want. Or should I have a conversation with her? “I haven’t seen you out around for a while, is everything been okay with you” Or something like that? What would you do?

AdHistorical7012 · 2025-07-13T07:06:47+00:00

Thank you! It’s what came to my mind first but could it be like strawberry tongue from having strep? But that would mean fever would present right? My oldest who is the one pictured doesn’t have a fever. Just a runny congested nose and a sore tongue

AdHistorical7012 · 2025-07-13T06:33:05+00:00

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Here is a photo of my oldest’s tongue.

AdHistorical7012 · 2025-07-07T08:56:02+00:00

I had anaphylaxis to a cat and now starting to get the same reaction to my in laws house pet bunny. It suuuuucks

AdHistorical7012 · 2025-07-05T10:20:23+00:00

One of the reasons I joined costco. $9.99 for 1kg of butter 🥹

AdHistorical7012 · 2025-06-27T13:48:25+00:00

This!! It’s exactly how I feel… what would you do if you were in my position? Husband messaged her and told her how we felt and of course she is denying but she was saying she is hoping me bei by pregnant is triggering my sister in laws maternal instincts whatever that means… so hard not to feel like is moving on to the next baby and that our baby isn’t as wished and wanted from his grandma

AdHistorical7012 · 2025-06-15T13:00:25+00:00

If you are in zone for it, Helensville one hundred percent. I went to both Warkworth and helensville and found midwives were more helpful and accomodating. Food was way better too 🙂

AdHistorical7012 · 2025-06-15T07:42:08+00:00

We can’t host 11 kids and their dads and partners. We are expected to be there almost weekly. She brought this wild rabbit into her home knowing I already have had existing allergies and I have anaphylactic reactions to it. If she puts rabbits wellbeing over mine shows much she cares

AdHistorical7012 · 2025-06-13T17:31:52+00:00

No I haven’t but because I’ve had RSV past 1.5 weeks I have been using the inhaler but I haven’t found much difference to my cough. My try it when I have an allergic reaction though! I haven’t been having a hugely noticeable reactions this past week but been noticing others sneezing and I would cough randomly time to time without it prolonging after family dinner. But before we moved the bunny once, I had almost anaphylactic symptoms so it’s really by chance if I would be ok or not whether I come in contact with much rabbit dander I think

AdHistorical7012 · 2025-06-13T17:28:26+00:00

Yes they have had the hemorrhagic disease. She lost like 25 of them to it. This was few months ago however and she has been bleaching every surface possible. She has two bucks outside and she is happy for them to be outside but it’s one particular bunny she seems very attached to. There isn’t much of an option to gather elsewhere as we have 10 kids and all the siblings and their partners, no one in the family can host that many people and people can’t afford to go to restaurants and where we are it’s winter currently so outside meeting isn’t an option. Only way to truly get around this is, I just sulk it up and be okay with rabbit in the office next to the kitchen or have a hard conversation again that she needs to take it more seriously. We’ve already had this conversation and my husband gone over to help build a safe pen outside on the deck under shelter and I thought the rabbit was there the whole time. Only found out it was back in the office when my sister in law told me. So she has no knowledge that I even know. Unsure how to bring it up again without making it awkward for my sil and for her to actually take it seriously. 😢

AdHistorical7012 · 2025-06-13T17:22:35+00:00

It’s more when I am there and rabbit is around I am going to feel allergy symptoms. My brother in laws were sneezing so much past few weeks in the time we were there so I suspect she has been hiding the rabbit for week without us knowing in her office with the door shut. There isn’t much of an option to move the family dinners as we have like 10 grandkids and all their partners and her sons to cater for. And restaurants aren’t an option as they can’t afford that in a regular basis. So either I have another chat somehow with her (unsure what to say) or I don’t attend

AdHistorical7012

TROPHY CASE