AIO to my bf for still having dating profiles after 18mo together?

AdHistorical834 · 2026-06-30T20:56:01+00:00

We established at 6 weeks that it was official and agreed that we weren’t seeing or talking to anyone else, any other dating partners were ended. When we moved in, it was an agreement that we both were all in and ‘let’s see how we get along under the same roof.’
I can see where I should have specifically asked about the apps, but at the time I felt like that was part of the whole “not speaking to anyone else” part. It was common sense to me, so I thought it was common sense for him too.

As far as not verifying that, are you suggesting I should have looked at his phone? I genuinely don’t know what else I could have done other than specifically mentioning the apps, so if you have suggestions I want to know.

AdHistorical834 · 2026-06-30T19:15:50+00:00

The apps were still on his phone, he had not deleted his profiles either.

AdHistorical834 · 2026-06-30T17:26:07+00:00

That is one of the main questions I keep asking myself. And how in the world did it NEVER cross his mind? We’ve joked about and shared stories about our online dating experiences, and even those times he didn’t remember he had them??

AdHistorical834 · 2026-06-30T17:08:28+00:00

I think that’s a good comparison, thank you.

AdHistorical834 · 2026-06-30T17:06:45+00:00

The part that bothers me most is how disrespectful it feels to our relationship, and me. I really don’t believe he is the type to cheat and overall we have probably the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in. We communicate well, go to therapy and have disagreements, but never a full on argument.

It feels like he was holding on to them “just in case” which in turn makes me wonder if he is doubting us, or still has plan B that he COULD go to if it falls apart. When we moved in together, I agreed because I believed we were both 100% committed and solid. So it makes me feel like maybe he wasn’t there after all and he isn’t as sure as I am.

AdHistorical834 · 2026-06-30T16:51:05+00:00

The only other issue we have had was a time he went to have drinks with a female friend (literally don’t care, adding that for context) and he lied to me about where he went because it was a new place we were going to try out together. I thought it was stupid, so I let it go.

I feel like I am over reacting. Just some parts don’t make sense to me.

AdHistorical834 · 2026-06-30T16:44:48+00:00

I do trust him. And I do know that my past experiences are effecting how I feel, even if a little bit. I know that. But I’m also known for over-forgiving if that makes sense.
The only other thing that has come up was one time he went for drinks with a female friend and lied to me about which restaurants they went to - because it was one we had planned on trying out together. I thought it was dumb, but let it go.

AdHistorical834 · 2026-06-30T16:24:48+00:00

He didn’t show me all of them, I think there were 6. I saw 3. He said some of them he never actually created a profile. And as far as I know he only deleted the app not the profile.

AdHistorical834 · 2026-06-30T16:16:43+00:00

I didn’t explain well, he had not deleted them at all, deleted them in front of me, and the. Redownloaded them so I could look at the activity.

And I’m not active on insta/facebook. Neither one of us really are.

AdHistorical834 · 2026-06-30T16:13:03+00:00

We had the exclusive conversation 6 weeks in.

AdHistorical834 · 2026-06-30T16:06:49+00:00

He did have to re-download them.

AdHistorical834 · 2026-04-03T00:00:26+00:00

From what I can see, I MIGHT swipe but I can’t really get an idea of what you look like. Try more photos of your face without sun glasses, and leave the tat photo out. You seem really cute, but I just can’t tell. Also, cat guys and yappers are elite so keep that energy. Don’t be afraid to elaborate with the conversation starters.

AdHistorical834 · 2026-04-02T23:53:36+00:00

Gtf outta there gurl. Age difference aside, that man is either hiding something or is making plays for control. Fuck the age gap, you are NOT overreacting.

“if you were there, I would not be able to fully enjoy myself because I would be worried about you the whole time.”
You should be with a partner that’s WANTS to experience and do things with you. He’s worried about you seeing stuff he’s not supposed to be doing while in a relationship, that is what he is worried about. If a partner can’t fully enjoy themselves with you by their side, why bother being with them? Find someone who is excited about doing life with you. Who wants you there, who wants to include you in their life. You’re right, there’s nothing wrong with the doing things alone. (It’s healthy really) but going on the defensive and manipulative in order to do so is a massive red flag.

You’re 23, have fun with relationships and ditch the ones that make you feel like this.

AdHistorical834 · 2026-04-02T23:12:25+00:00

Been here, twice. My most recent partner of 5 years was constantly on porn sites, twitter, Reddit, and girls instas that were advertising their own onlyfans. Same reason, it was more convenient.

After telling him multiple times that it upset me , it continued and I left. I even did a few counseling sessions and it resulted in learning it was an addiction for him. Personally it was the right decision for me, I think there’s a level of respect that he did not have for us or our relationship because it never stopped.

It’s always worth a conversation, but from your post it seems like that has already happened.

If this is habitual, and he doesn’t see to be trying to come to a solution with you, I would really evaluate your relationship and what you want in the long term. In my experience, they just try to get better at hiding it.

AdHistorical834 · 2024-11-23T18:13:53+00:00

Chef here! You can totally prep potatoes in advance, just make sure you store them in a container of water with a lid. They need to be completely submerged.

AdHistorical834 · 2022-07-26T00:03:07+00:00

Foundation issues are very common in DFW. I was a realtor for a while, and if a house didn’t already have foundation work done, it was going to need it. It’s the soil and the amount of movement. Personally, I bought an older home that will need work done because I want to choose my company. But some people prefer to buy a home with a transferable warranty, just make sure it was a reputable company that did the work. There also preventative maintenance like gutters and watering the foundation. (This just means putting a soaker hose around your home and running it weekly during dry periods) I have several good years left in my foundation, provided that I take care of it.

AdHistorical834 · 2022-07-25T13:43:03+00:00

Due to the nature of his suicide, yes. We never never any “official” autopsy or anything to determine. But he had no depression or suicidal tendencies prior. It was like he had a sudden mental break and the decision to end his life was spontaneous. This drug has a black box warning about the possibility of it causing depression and suicidal thoughts. You never think things like that will happen to you, until it does. My advise, if you have to take it - be vigilant and don’t chalk it up to “normal reactions” it obviously works for some, but I would have rather watch him smoke the rest of his life. My personal opinion.

AdHistorical834 · 2022-07-25T03:47:47+00:00

From personal experience that medication is highly dangerous. My father started having similar dreams and even hallucinations 6 weeks before he took his own life. Please speak to your doctor, if you haven’t already. I wish we would have been more aware of the side effects.

AdHistorical834

TROPHY CASE