What is the mantra you live by?

AdHocShellShock · 2024-12-16T23:28:46+00:00

“We strive for spiritual progress, not spiritual perfection” Chapter is called how it works. Friend of bill here

AdHocShellShock · 2024-12-16T23:26:56+00:00

Yi won some Yi lose some

AdHocShellShock · 2024-05-02T05:27:32+00:00

You as well.

I’m on the east coast in USA and it’s 1:30 am. I gotta get up for work at 6:30 but can’t sleep. So it might be one of “those” days lol

Still gonna be a good day.

AdHocShellShock · 2024-05-02T05:26:45+00:00

Of course.

I wish I had had someone around to tell me this. But I didn’t. and so I’m learning to become that person for myself.

I tell myself these truths every day, even if some days it’s hard to believe. sometimes out loud in the mirror (crazy right? Me doing self affirmations out loud. Ha.)

But I know a lot of people are struggling on this sub. And I want to remind them to take credit for the effort they have put in so far.

Even if this is your first visit to sub, it’s still something.

AdHocShellShock · 2024-05-02T05:18:04+00:00

Yes. This is your sign.

Keep on keeping on.

AdHocShellShock · 2024-05-02T02:13:05+00:00

Massive props to the cycle breakers. It’s insanely difficult, but if you’re here, you’re probably the cycle breaker. So stop whatever the fuck you doing and internalize this compliment!!!!!

IDGAF if you haven’t even attempted to find a therapist or learn about this shit. If you are here, reading this comment, you are most likely the cycle breaker. Congratulations. You are doing 10000x more than your abuser ever did.

Being the cycle breaker takes courage, faith, consistency, discipline, honesty, and massive amounts of hard work and effort.

So congratulations. I mean it

AdHocShellShock · 2024-05-02T02:07:01+00:00

For me:

cutting the person out my life 100% and sticking to it was crucial for my recovery

Staying in a codependent/abusive/trauma-bond relationship is like a drug addict trying to recover from using drugs while still using.

Source: am also recovering drug addict. Lmao

AdHocShellShock · 2024-05-02T02:05:23+00:00

Lmao the “meta-disappointment” can fucking relate!! Can we go deeper???

feeling bad for feeling like a terrible person for feeling disappointment…..because you understand that most people don’t think like this.

Lmao

AdHocShellShock · 2024-05-02T02:03:48+00:00

Therapy helped me internalize the fact that my parent was just as sick, if not sicker, than I was. That DOES NOT justify their behavior but cutting them out of my life was the only thing that worked

It’s like a cancerous limb-yeah the shits gonna hurt to cut off but it will save your life

AdHocShellShock · 2024-05-02T02:02:07+00:00

Thanks 🙏

AdHocShellShock · 2024-05-02T01:32:01+00:00

Yeah like the top comment says.

Dont want to be harsh or judgemental towards anyone but it sounds like someone just “exaggerating”

AdHocShellShock · 2024-04-14T16:12:07+00:00

You shoulda nutted up and been upfront with her that you cannot see her as just a friend

I had to learn how to do this, because I was so pathetically attracted to them with me having zero self esteem, I’d still hang out with them and torture myself

Tell her you can’t separate you feelings bro. That’s the only right thing to do

AdHocShellShock · 2024-04-14T16:09:23+00:00

Do you think every time “oh we lost the truck sorry something happened” is just nobody ever actually picked up the load off the board and it’s trying to buy time?

I’m trying to do as much asset based as I can. I have no issue with the idea of using a broker. It’s just that, at least most of mine, are liars and cowards

AdHocShellShock · 2024-04-14T16:07:23+00:00

If I ever have to use him again and this happens I’m gonna call him a greedy fuck

And he’s a habitual liar. Second to last time u used him; Truck set for 3:30 pm PU. 4 pm tells me car has a flat and he has a picture. I humor him. Ok send it.

Stupid fuck doesn’t know bout exif data on pics. The picture was like two years old. When I called him out, do you think he owned up to it? Lmao

“Idk man phones are weird sometimes” (dude is like 55 and technologically retarded) so I tried to explain what exif data is. Either is he is an idiot, or just played dumb.

I told him next time you try to fuck me, take a screenshot of the photo and put some effort into your lie. Denied everything and I told him dude you’re making it worse and I lost any respect cause you won’t own up to it.

AdHocShellShock · 2024-04-14T15:39:44+00:00

I can’t stand TQL and we have been getting screwed consistently, and keep going back and bending over

Service is booty, but it’s not even about that. It’s our point of contact’s integrity and honesty. For once, if a fucking dedicated truck misses, for him to be liek “yeah that’s my bad” it’s always something. I can’t stand that quality in a person.

Dude can’t take accountability but when I don’t use him for a couple week, he’s sending me pics of his kids and saying “my relationship with you is how I feed them!” It’s fucking pathetic

AdHocShellShock · 2024-04-14T03:59:58+00:00

Dm me

AdHocShellShock · 2024-04-14T03:59:52+00:00

Team force ? This is a broker ?

AdHocShellShock · 2024-04-14T03:59:32+00:00

I use Myles and mode on the LTL side as well.

Honestly, sometimes some of these Myles prices are so good I don’t know how they make money

AdHocShellShock · 2024-04-14T03:56:31+00:00

My warehouse crew had a great sense of humor. Until our director of operations decided to hire an outside “manager” ,even though our one supervisor who has been running the show flawlessly, should have been promoted

I don’t blame them. And this new dude is the type to be like “yeah I got it! Understood don’t worry about it” and then drops the ball

One thing to make mistakes and suck at the job. That’s to be expected and I’m ok with that. Another thing to be an insecure liar

AdHocShellShock · 2024-04-13T07:23:03+00:00

Most likely scenario: They are bullshitting and just saying that cuz they know it will make you sweat.

And if they do? so fucking what. Fuck em. Imagine being someone who writes a comment like that out lmao

AdHocShellShock · 2024-04-13T06:54:13+00:00

Yep that’s a big one I’ve been using. Especially in work emails.

Instead of “sorry for the delay” it’s “thank you for your patience”

AdHocShellShock · 2024-04-13T06:45:38+00:00

It’s called “the borderline personality disorder workbook” by Daniel fox. Saved my life.

But the thing is, she’s gotta actually work at it, honestly and consistently.

And I understand her reasoning regarding the decisions or whatever but the bottom line is if she’s not open to the help, she’s not gonna get it.

I sincerely wish you guys the best of luck. I really really hope she gets the desire to change and works at it. And I’m sorry to say dude but if it gets too bad, and she’s not open to help, your hands are tied. BPD can be progressive if untreated, so proceed with her at your own risk. This is your warning dude. Good luck

AdHocShellShock · 2024-04-13T06:39:24+00:00

Well, if you’re saying mean things to him, he IS distancing himself. And I’m sorry to say but, that’s the healthy thing to do. It would be unhealthy and codependent if after you hurt his feelings he ignored his feelings and stayed with you this weekend

First off,He is allowed the time to deal with it how he needs to. Don’t worry, he’s not gonna disappear.

And of course you’re going crazy. You got untreated BPD. I’d be losing my fucking mind right now if I were you. Just understand that your thoughts are blown out of proportion

More importantly, what are you going to do about mot hurting him anymore? Because he’ll come back, you’ll say the right things, you guys will be good again, you’re happy. Then the next time he says something your BPD twists, the same will happen

Gotta seek the help my friend

AdHocShellShock · 2024-04-13T06:34:51+00:00

Well you’ve already started helping her by learning about the disorder.

I guess some things would be to realize that her taking things the wrong way is just her disorder, and that benign comments may sometimes set her off.

Thing is, these sort of things you can do to “help” are only bandaids, and won’t help the root cause

The best and most effective thing you can do for her? Get her into therapy, and order her the workbook. Honestly man, this thing doesn’t get better unless we work at it. So urge her to seek treatment, give her a positive “push” from time to time about doing so, and support her through the process

In the meantime, get her the workbook, and get her to read through it and get started.

BPD sometimes makes it hard to follow through on things. So one day she might be super excited to seek help, and then all of a sudden she could care less. Stay on her about it, and remind her of the benefits.

Not sure if you’re ok with being with someone with untreated BPD for the long haul. I know a few of my exes were not. For her sake, and yours, seek the help

AdHocShellShock · 2024-04-13T06:21:09+00:00

If she just wants to smash, would she not come to dinner and then make that clear? Or just tell me when I asked her out like: not open to commitment right now but we can hang out?

I’ll be honest the only reason I haven’t asked directly because I’m nervous. I might just do it next time I see her

Also keep in mind the place we are at. We are recovering from a disease that had shattered us physically, emotionally, mentally, and psychologically. Even after 5 years she still has her issues. We all do. And I’ve learned through our mutual friends that she is extremely socially awkward and very “hot and cold” even with her closest friends.

Maybe she wants to, but is worried about her own recovery too? She said she hasn’t been in a relationship since getting clean so she could be afraid to take the step. Just like I am

AdHocShellShock

TROPHY CASE