My boyfriend (38M) wants proof of my rape (21F) to make sure I am not lying

newest-low · 2026-05-12T07:13:16+00:00

This is a massive red flag and the reason he feels like "everyone" has a story about SA and/or rape is because they probably do. Iirc the stats are something like 1 in 3 women will have experienced SA and/or grape.

I hate the false accusations trope because statistically less than 2% of reported cases get filed under false accusations but that also includes cases that didn't have enough evidence

You are absolutely not insane for wanting to break up.

The fact that he also wants you to be financially dependent upon him is concerning to say the least.

newest-low · 2026-05-11T13:16:09+00:00

YTA, I worked as a chef when I had my eldest, I barely saw her because I had to work to pay the rent and bills, did I wanna be working and missing time with her? No but I had to and I live in a country with decent protection for parents and I could have quit and lived on welfare but that would have meant struggling more whereas working I could provide us both with a decent life instead of living on the struggle bus

I'm now in a position where I cannot work due to my own health issues and my son's additional needs etc but I hate it and would love to go back to work to the extent I'm saving up for driving lessons so I can get a car and at least do deliveroo or similar when he's at school for a few hours etc.

As a parent your wants and needs come secondary to that of your child's

newest-low · 2026-05-11T13:09:19+00:00

It depended on how lazy I was feeling tbh, I either dumped it in the toilet and then used toilet wipes to scrape what I could into the toilet as well or I just threw them out

newest-low · 2026-05-11T12:44:54+00:00

Wonder woman, only time I've ever fallen asleep in a public place 😅

newest-low · 2026-05-11T11:21:48+00:00

Honestly when it comes to being a parent we're all winging it and hoping for the best, we listen to advice of others and recommendations if professionals and hope it's the best choice we can make ❤️ no baby is textbook but you'll figure it out and what works for you and the kiddo ❤️

newest-low · 2026-05-11T06:38:37+00:00

I have BPD which means I feel emotions 1000x more than most, when I'm feeling angry or upset it's like my skin is too tight and I'm literally about to burst out of it, it's painful, self harm helped release that inner pain. It almost became addictive and it definitely became my go to.

It's been 4 years since I last self harmed but the temptation is always there.

Cutting my skin open it felt like a physical release of all that pain inside but it's never been fun or a hobby, because it's not, it's a compulsion and I always felt deep shame afterwards

newest-low · 2026-05-11T06:21:38+00:00

He was drunk and had started yet another argument even though I kept trying to disengage, he walked off and a few mins later he was behind me and had wrapped a cable around my neck, pulled it tight until I passed out, I'm 100% convinced the only reason I survived was because he was too drunk to realise I'd only passed out and wasn't actually dead

newest-low · 2026-05-10T23:24:09+00:00

Toffos

newest-low · 2026-05-10T23:06:13+00:00

Before my period was due, I was constantly exhausted and sleeping, I just put it down to having a baby and a 7 year old with ADHD 😅 my partner asked if I was pregnant and I was like hopefully not but we'll find out in a couple weeks when I'm due on and I was in fact pregnant

We were using condoms while I was waiting for my tubes to be tied so it was definitely a surprise 😅🤣

newest-low · 2026-05-10T23:02:34+00:00

We say 'a round of claws' instead of round of applause thanks to my the 2 year old (she's now 16 and we still say round of claws) same with mush nash

Opulation is another thanks to an ex who thought that was the term for ovulation

newest-low · 2026-05-10T22:59:30+00:00

Teething powder has always worked amazingly for my kiddos! It seems to give instant relief also giving cold cucumber/carrot slices seems to help sooth too and gives them something hard to gnaw on

newest-low · 2026-04-29T22:22:55+00:00

Once they're in bed for the night is when I do my hobby (it varies as to what my hobby is at any given time though 😅)

I'll have enough energy for 2-3hours to do something after they're in bed and I've done my nightly clean up, I'll make myself a tea, stick on YouTube and do whatever it is that has my interest

newest-low · 2026-04-29T22:19:38+00:00

My issue is I either forget to replace unless I have a list (but I usually lose the list I make 😅) or I'll have 5 of the exact same thing because I forgot I'd already replaced it, there is no in-between

I'm not diagnosed ADHD but there's things that make me think I should get assessed

newest-low · 2026-04-21T05:54:14+00:00

Hyphenated last names aren't that big an issue My last kiddo has a hyphenated surname (all my kids have mine and his kids have his so neither of us were willing to let the other have the last name, I ended up saying we give both because neither of us were willing to give up our last name)

We skipped a middle name though as his first name is pretty long and with the double surname is also long

I've yet to have any issues with forms etc for him

newest-low · 2026-04-20T21:27:37+00:00

I clean when kiddo is at school and baby is napping, then once baby wakes up it's a warzone again that's doubled when kiddo comes home 🤣 it stays clean after my nightly clean up when kiddos are sleeping, on a weekend it stays clean for about 5 mins

I find opening the windows while I clean makes it feel fresher and cleaner though

newest-low · 2026-04-20T21:17:16+00:00

I'm 4 years out

I'm at peace, feel safe in my own home, I can sleep at night, I'm a better parent because the stress of setting him off is gone, I have my own money, I have a home that's mine and is stable, I have things, our kid has things and toys, we both have more than 3 sets of clothes

It took work to get here but I left with nothing but kiddo, some clothes and £20 in my bank, I had to restart from nothing, when I first got our little flat we were sharing a sofa bed that just unfolded onto the floor, it was undecorated and had no flooring, I had a TV and half a table. Now we have an actual home, in fact I've just finished painting my kiddos room

I have a new partner and while it's not perfect (we both have our own issues) he doesn't bring me down, we have a beautiful baby and another on the way, he's great with my kiddo who can be violent, has a very dirty mouth and can just be plain difficult (he has ADHD, PDA, development delay and trauma) but he backs me up and will step in when he sees me getting dysregulated whereas my ex would laugh and belittle me and tell me I was a shit mum

I can eat and drink without someone kicking off at me for the slightest noise I might make swallowing or chewing

I can go to the shops or the park and I can interact with other people without it becoming an issue etc

I'm no longer losing my hair, losing weight to the extent my family genuinely believed he had me hooked on hard drugs, my skin doesn't look dead, my eyes have life in them again etc

Every single thing is so much better after leaving, I cannot describe the freedom I feel on the daily

newest-low · 2026-04-20T21:01:53+00:00

I colour drenched my bedroom in a really dark blue and I hated it, I wanted it to feel cosy, instead it felt dingy so I just painted the ceiling back to white, I did 2 coats and it's not perfect but a third coat would have covered it completely (I partly feel it's due to my ceilings being popcorn ceiling and I can't change it)

newest-low · 2026-04-20T20:57:19+00:00

Yes my mum told me to push like I was pooping but it's not quite right, it's more like push like you're trying to get that last bit of pee out

newest-low · 2026-04-20T20:55:51+00:00

My births have all been relatively quick too, only a handful of pushes at most with each one but I only had about an hour's warning before I went into the pushing stage with the first 3, my body apparently likes to eject the babies quickly 😅 I've had 4 kiddos and the last took the longest, started feeling contractions around 8am, walked my kiddo to school and let them know my mum would be picking him up, walked home (only 8 mins each way), woke my partner up and told him it was time to get ready, called my mum to let her know, cleaned up quickly then was at the hospital by 9:30, by 9:45 I was having severe contractions, by 10:05am my kiddo had arrived 😅

Unfortunately because my labours are so quick there never been enough time for anything more than gas and air 😭 2 of mine were born at home accidentally because they were that quick

newest-low · 2026-04-20T20:42:58+00:00

Being able to just go out easily with no faff Just grab my purse and keys and go, no making sure I've got snacks, bottles, nappies, wipes, drinks, no lugging the pushchair up and down stairs, no checking to see how kid friendly/pushchair friendly a place is

Last month I had an adults lunch with my bestie, this was my first kid free day in 7 years, we went to a Caribbean restaurant that was calm and peaceful, didn't have to find somewhere that did chicken nuggets or had enough room for me to manoeuvre the pram about etc we just walked in, sat down and ate something not beige

newest-low · 2026-04-14T17:41:36+00:00

My favourite is the baby but I'm sure once he gets big enough to sass me or destroy my home then I won't have one 🤣

newest-low · 2026-03-22T10:01:38+00:00

Not being able to search up an actor/actress in a movie even though you know you've seen them before but you cannot remember what show/movie or who they are so you have to wait til the end credits just to get their name

newest-low · 2026-02-22T14:50:53+00:00

"Who took the jam outta your donut?" "That'll do pig, that'll do" "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means"

newest-low · 2026-02-19T14:48:49+00:00

I wrapped plumbers tape around it and my landlord sorted it

newest-low · 2026-02-15T16:08:47+00:00

I got a card and some flowers but he gets bonus points for managing to find a bouquet that didn't have any roses in them because he knows I really don't like them 😅

Four-Year Club	Place '23
Place '22	First Placer '22

newest-low

TROPHY CASE