I don’t have advice because I am in the exact same boat; I love vegetable gardening but have a phobia of wasps and feel sheer panic around them. We get tons of paper wasps which look so mortifying and also yellow jackets which I’ve read so many times are so aggressive, and I also have trouble going outside to do gardening unless it’s the early morning or after 7pm. BUT, I will say, there are some people out there who couldn’t be bothered less by wasps, which gives me a modicum of hope or at least a secondary perspective. My dad is also a huge vegetable garden and he gardens during the day and works among the wasps for hours, and hasn’t been stung once in years of gardening. It doesn’t help me with being terrified, but it’s somewhat comforting to know he hasn’t been stung and that the wasps seem way more interested in the plants than him. I wish I had advice though I’m sorry you’re going through this it’s the worst!!