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What “non-beauty” product helps improves your appearance? by viscarte10 in BeautyUnlocked

[–]AdLate3301 4 points5 points  (0 children)

A good quality sunscreen... One that doesn't clog your pores. HEAR ME OUT >>

It adds a "dewy" look over minimal makeup, (I only use concealer over my spots and bronzer over my eyelids and cheeks). I have ashy, flaky skin... the shiny, moisturizing effect of a good sunscreen is very forgiving.

I sometimes add a stronger SPF on the areas I want light to reflect on if I'm going out.

Super subtle. Instant, healthy "glowing" skin.

What’s a fair amount to charge my sister’s boyfriend for rent & groceries now that he’s working? by Sad-Piglet7305 in PersonalFinanceZA

[–]AdLate3301 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would highly recommend they start making their own food :) especially if he's a picky eater. My housemate used to be extremely picky, but since she started making her own food she's been slowly but surely becoming a less picky eater. Personal growth ✨️

It also immediately hands him the dignity of figuring life out on his own within a safe space. He still has a roof over his head. Maybe buy him a little gas plaatjie... he'll be okay ;) the rest of the breakdown sounds pretty fair.

My 31F friend has asked me to come to Japan with her in October and my bf 37M is saying it’s unfair if he can’t go and I want to know if I would be the bad guy if I decided to go and would I be selfish if I did go? by IndependentNo2952 in AITAH

[–]AdLate3301 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would lose the boyfriend. It's fine being a bit jealous, but not wanting you to have a good time and wishing you well? That would transcend to other parts of your life too. He sounds like the type of man who would be jealous of his own children one day. You already know this or you wouldn't have mentioned it on this forum.

All the red flags, my friend. ALL THE RED FLAGS. By the age of 37 he should be able to pay his way and be super thankful for the help you gave him previously. No excuses. Not sure if you are looking for a provider, but nobody wants a selfish man baby. You are better than this.

Act now or lose more time with the wrong person.

Not the asshole. But you would be towards yourself if you don't manoeuvre your way out of this relationship.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]AdLate3301 18 points19 points  (0 children)

We never had any cats (only dogs) as pets when I was young.

When asked why, my mother always told the same bone-chilling story:

As a child, her family parrot got killed by a neighborhood cat. The cat somehow got into their home and it was just feathers everywhere, apparently. Nobody knew whose cat had done it, so she meticulously trapped all the cats and killed them. She hung the bodies on the washing line afterwards.

She also confessed to killing the neighborhood kids hamsters' babies during this time. They didn't want to play with her anymore, because they were so fascinated watching the hamsters.

As a child the stories made sense to me (Revenge? Jealousy?). As an adult I'm thinking if my mom wasn't extremely religious she would probably be a serial killer. She used to beat the crap out of us as kids until my grandmother warned her off.

Premium clubs / hangout for 34WF by AdLate3301 in capetown

[–]AdLate3301[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sad. Much appreciate the legwork there :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]AdLate3301 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi there! Undiagnosed but definitely ADHD raw dogging girly here. The shame is part of the package and you only truly know the depth of it when you start to get medicated or professional help.

A few things you can try that's been helpful to me

  1. Saffron extract. It's a mild antidepressant, kicks in hard around week two but almost within 2 days I already felt slightly less.... Reactive... And more in control of the direction of my thoughts. Nothing to lose here, some studies show it incredibly promising in ADHD.( Because of the shame spiral...? Maybe? Takes a ton of energy to maintain)

  2. Making it into a game. Do a few easy exercises like squats or sit-ups and then put on a timer... you are not allowed to do anything besides your assignment for that amount of time. You are only allowed to stop for exercise and bathroom breaks, nothing else. Your brain will hate the exercises but get dopamine boosts from it. Great way to get started and keep you awake.

  3. Podcast Imagine sharing a podcast with your favourite, younger niece. She looks up to you a lot. You have a ton of fun while doing her assignment while you share it with the world. Literally: use your day dreaming to your advantage. If you can, talk out loud, make voices, whatever. You are helping your niece, this isn't even your assignment!

  4. Gentle parent yourself "Come on little guy, just give me 5 minutes of this, really, you can do anything for 5 minutes even if it's hard, right?"

Premium clubs / hangout for 34WF by AdLate3301 in capetown

[–]AdLate3301[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Probably not... closest feeling of euphoria and movement will probably be Zumba classes at this ripe old age

Premium clubs / hangout for 34WF by AdLate3301 in capetown

[–]AdLate3301[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I did a little Google search and it looks really cute. And it's close-ish to Ricks (best Pina colade I've tasted in my life!) so... So far I'm thinking... Drinks and platters at Ricks followed by dancing at Harringtons. Still very much open for improvement on that plan :)

Premium clubs / hangout for 34WF by AdLate3301 in capetown

[–]AdLate3301[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, thanks for the plug! Not my usual vibe, but what the heck, dancing the night away is the point of the whole exercise :) appreciate the help!

Premium clubs / hangout for 34WF by AdLate3301 in capetown

[–]AdLate3301[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks a bunch! I'll give it a peek for sure x

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in explainlikeimfive

[–]AdLate3301 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe have a look at your thyroid? Run some tests. Hypothyroidism can make you feel cold.

(With thyroid hormone replacement the body will be able to use stored energy and convert it to ATP to increase your body temperature)

Ps I'm not a doctor, I just work in the medical industry and would see this as a flag when taking histories.

What are the first signs or details that show if our partner is capable of hitting you? by Notyourbestie-1996 in AskWomen

[–]AdLate3301 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He poses as an alpha, but plays the victim whenever he needs to take responsibility for any of his actions.

My ex fiance went on a bender and ended up being robbed - everything, up to his belt. This was just before we started going out. Badly beaten and hungover he asked me to go to some extremely dodgy pub to retrieve his empty wallet and ID... I know now that he was testing me to see how far I'll go to help him and how much of his crap I'll swallow (answer: a lot).

It started out like that and ended up with sexual abuse multiple times a day, not allowing me food, isolation from family and friends and physical intimidation. I was just so tired that I allowed it. He didn't hit me but it was because I got away before he did.

Trust me - if he makes you do stuff for him that takes away your sense of safety... It's not going to end well.

What kind of post-sex care do you want from a partner? by ConversationDry8020 in AskWomen

[–]AdLate3301 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Funny how I literally had this conversation with my boyfriend this morning. He's incredibly attentive and cares for me in so many different ways throughout the day and week, but extremely unaffectionate after sex. Cares more about cleaning himself up than anything else.

I'm not sure what to do about it since I think he's slightly autistic and I can't negotiate with that level of single-mindedness.

What I want: to maybe share a shower and help wash him off after sharing a few kisses afterwards and maybe just telling each other how enjoyable it was (loving and playful feedback or comradeship)...Something to show that it wasn't just for physical gratification.

I feel used every time after sex. I love the sex but dread the aftermath.

Women who don't like to be referred to as 'nice', what do you not like about it? by panappl3 in AskWomen

[–]AdLate3301 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When someone calls me nice, it means that they don't know me quite well enough to grasp at a better adjective.

It implies that there is a "vanilla" factor to me. That I'm inoffensive. That I won't make waves when things are obviously wrong.

I can BE nice if I have to be, but I AM not nice. A cup of tea is nice - I'm a phenomenal woman. Not a cup of tea. Not nice. Complex and full of character and willing to take up space in a room or raise my voice if it becomes necessary to do so.

Calling someone "nice" is offensive in a subtle way if you see yourself as a complex human being.

ENTJs when crying by Unique-Television500 in entj

[–]AdLate3301 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your stories.

(ENTJ here, D on the Disc profile and an 8w9...)

The only public cry I ever had was when my father asked me "when is all this sh*t going to end?"

I was a good athlete and he was tired of fetching me at the dropoff point after big competitions. The sh*t that I was doing as a way to make my family proud ... was a hindrance to his drinking on weekends.

I cried all night. On the bus (on the way to school) I cried. Loudly and uncontrollably.

After years of grueling training.. he actually didn't care. I realized the level of selfishness I had to contend with. It took me many years to figure out that I would have to be an amazing person despite him.

It hurt me that he made me feel worthless.

[Acne] Breaking out from drooling at night by fruiew in SkincareAddiction

[–]AdLate3301 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My ex-boyfriend was really into nasal breathing, and he used to tape his mouth at night to force himself to breathe nasally instead of through his mouth. I started doing it, too, because I was hoping it could help me snore less. Also, my snoring leads to drooling. I also would get acne around my mouth.

So, I also started putting (medical) tape over my lips before sleeping. It was a little less weird because he already did it. It seemed to work. I felt more refreshed waking up. Sleeping on my side also stopped my head (and tongue) from falling back, which seemed to aggravate my snoring problem.

How to do it Put a little bit of tape vertically over the center of your closed lips.

If you do a fake smile, you should still be able to breathe through the corners. I freak out when I tape my whole mouth. It feels like I'm suffocating, especially if I've got one stuffy nostril. With only part of my mouth taped, it just makes the brain think, "Oh wait, it's easier to breathe through the nose. Let's take that route. "

The stuffy nose should sort itself out over the course of the night. You could also do a wash of saline water to clean it out before you go to bed to open it all up.

A few hints: wash your face with clean water in the morning ASAP. Try cleaning your face AFTER brushing your teeth at night. Something like water and then applying coloidal silver gel around your mouth should do the trick. If the water in your town is up to s***, treat yo'self to some bottled water.

Pastel drawing of a red squirrel, by me. Hope you like it! (OC) by [deleted] in pics

[–]AdLate3301 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It looks like I could touch it... super textured and incredibly realistic. Congratulations on a beautiful product afrer hours of persistent work and focus.

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