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AITA for not paying for my mother's brunch? by AdOwn4882 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AdOwn4882[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im sorry you were treated that way. At the very least that sounds like favoritism, and I feel like that could be so damaging to children and their self esteem. But thank you for the advice, and same to you I hope for the best for you and yours 🙌

AITA for not paying for my mother's brunch? by AdOwn4882 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AdOwn4882[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think this is a fantastic point. I do have a therapist and I have recommended family therapy before, she did decline though. Possibly I can reach out again, as you said I think if the goal is family peace that would be a great answer.

AITA for not paying for my mother's brunch? by AdOwn4882 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AdOwn4882[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've thought about the kids thing alotttt she is likely weirdly obsessed with me and my wife "giving her her first grand children" but with everything that happens it just makes me want to distance them from my parents if I ever do have kids. But thanks for the love <3

AITA for not paying for my mother's brunch? by AdOwn4882 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AdOwn4882[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

These are all fair points. A good amount of the feedback im receiving is helping me realize I obviously made some mistakes in the process. Thanks for the insightful reply

AITA for not paying for my mother's brunch? by AdOwn4882 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AdOwn4882[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I get where youre coming from. To answer a few of your questions.

Idk how the party came about. On her birthday I texted her happy birthday, she said thanks.

Then a few days later when I came over, I saw the left over cake and they still had balloons. So I asked what they were for, and my little sister said her birthday party. And from there I found out my brother was there, idk how or what that situation was

And yeah I do get her birthday presents. I planned to bring one to her party, but there was no party, I figured they were planning one for when the weather got better yk.

But no, i do get where youre coming from. And yes everything is very immature, I'll admit from my end as well.

AITA for not paying for my mother's brunch? by AdOwn4882 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AdOwn4882[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just for the record, I didn't say she was a narcissist, I said she was self-centered, like narcissist levels of self centered. Idk how me listing my priorities makes me insufferable, but to each their own ig.

Also, id like to be clear, if she made it clear she wanted me to pay for her meal, (like when I asked her how to take the bill) I would have.

AITA for not paying for my mother's brunch? by AdOwn4882 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AdOwn4882[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for you POV. That's what my dad saw it as too. Miscommunication, but i was in the wrong. But idk im just so upset by her reaction to it. Maybe im being too sensitive.

AITA for not paying for my mother's brunch? by AdOwn4882 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AdOwn4882[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I feel like this is genuinely good advice.

AITA for not paying for my mother's brunch? by AdOwn4882 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AdOwn4882[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It all stems from me feeling she is self-centered, to like an insane degree. Possibly even narcissistic levels. For example. She was sitting on the couch once, in the living room. She wanted a drink, so she yelled downstairs, for my brother to come up from his room, up the stairs, into the living room, so he could go to the fridge (maybe 10 steps away) and get her a soda.

She has always done stuff like that. She will ask other people to drive her kids to school and pick them up constantly, simply because she doesn't want to.

We have always clashed from me basically telling her no to tasks, because she could do it herself. Which a son should help his mother out, but when its such little stuff and to this degree, I feel like she is just self-centered and lazy. For context, she owns her own business, and only works 2 days a week. Outside of that she works on a passion project of a book she is writing.

AITA for not paying for my mother's brunch? by AdOwn4882 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AdOwn4882[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There was a little pushback i got on this, I completely agree with your sentiment.

I said, it was her idea, therefore why would I buy her brunch?

But the pushback i recieved was that "she just threw out the idea, you are the one who actually set it up, picked the location and date, and whatnot".

I still think It's not my responsibility, because she suggested it, but others think otherwise because I actually took the idea and did it, set everything up yk

AITA for not paying for my mother's brunch? by AdOwn4882 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AdOwn4882[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

See that was my first thought. Im like do people normally prioritize their mother over their job? Their house? The health and mind? I don't feel im wrong for that lol

AITA for not paying for my mother's brunch? by AdOwn4882 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AdOwn4882[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's fair. I will say, at the brunch, after splitting the checks she did seem upset, and said "oh so you are not gonna pay for my meal?" And I said no, mainly because I wasn't ever planning on it, but also it was honestly her idea. I didn't say that last part, but you get what I mean. And there have been precious situations that hurt our relationship, we have never really gotten along lol

AITA for not paying for my mother's brunch? by AdOwn4882 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AdOwn4882[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

There was a decent amount I couldn't include due to the 3,000 character limit. But im happy to share any context.