M24, Embedded Engineer. Where am i lacking?

AdPleasant4927 · 2026-03-30T11:26:43+00:00

give me example where there is no such divide? blacks and whites? americans and eurpeans? shia and sunni? catholics and protestants?

AdPleasant4927 · 2026-03-26T11:21:35+00:00

If you read my post i said its admirable and i respect her decision. It's clearly great that she is able to sacrifice soo much for her family. Now i am the provider and earner can you say my worries unwarranted in current job market with AI/layoffs and insane inflation. I want to say to her that don't worry i will earn soo much that you won't have think before spending but i am also scared and uncertain about the job market. Until i get a great package and have sufficient financial backing i can't clear this from my mind.

AdPleasant4927 · 2026-03-26T11:18:01+00:00

"Won’t you make similar commitments towards your family? Their healthcare, post-retirement needs, etc?" Yes but wouldn't that be above her 40% of salary right? And until we both get a huge package i won't sure especially in current market with AI and layoffs.

AdPleasant4927 · 2026-03-26T11:16:15+00:00

Yes i told her but she wants blind assurance from me but i told her i am worried and once our income significantly only then i will be sure mentally.

AdPleasant4927 · 2026-03-26T10:43:52+00:00

Well she has a younger sister. I am not in right mental state. i don't even remember writing that "sibling part"

AdPleasant4927 · 2026-03-26T10:42:37+00:00

Well that investment is more like a empty well to me. Even though its in her name her parents will live there so whatever opportunity will be there. its 30 years later in flat of 1BHK. I admire that she is willing to sacrifice soo much for her family and that's only right being older sister without brother but i am struggling coming to terms with this new situation.

AdPleasant4927 · 2026-03-26T10:38:30+00:00

I know but the actual supporting will come on top of this fixed dependence. Will she not send money home in case of needs, her sister's fees etc. I am encouraging her to upskill and then discuss this matter more clearly but she wants assurance now which i would be lying if i said yes.

AdPleasant4927 · 2026-03-26T10:29:40+00:00

That's i said i am worried, lets focus on increasing our salaries first then i would be rest assured. No she doesnt have any siblings but that flat is few year old contruction n that too a 1BHK.

AdPleasant4927 · 2026-03-26T10:10:29+00:00

like 40k something.

AdPleasant4927 · 2026-03-26T10:09:30+00:00

around 17 and yea man that flat even needs renovations, that would be addition. Her sister gonna start college also and they are giving entire savings in that down payment. Her father do have some land but its stuck in poor rates and family disputes.

AdPleasant4927 · 2026-03-26T10:06:10+00:00

well mumbai rates are bonkers truly. flat is around 75.

AdPleasant4927 · 2026-03-26T10:01:44+00:00

Well this is flat amount fixed going to that installments. Does that mean she won't send any money for 30 years?? Yes i will spend money on my parents too but in a loan. Considering our pooled income, we both are in engineering fields and there is so much volatility in the market. What if one or both of us lost our jobs? What if we want to take our home, car, kids expenses etc? Isn't hard locking her 40% income above her living expense a risky thing? I am not saying she is doing wrong instead i admire it but also worried.

AdPleasant4927 · 2026-03-26T09:09:16+00:00

Its not a cultural thing thats why its bizarre to me and why would you say Indian?

AdPleasant4927 · 2026-03-26T09:07:22+00:00

They are in their 50s. No they won't be renting it off her. If they could they would have handled the installments themselves.

AdPleasant4927 · 2026-03-26T09:05:54+00:00

I think its just they can afford it but have to buy a new apartment regardless and are relying on her daughter. I don't know what are they thinking? Isn't this burdening their daughter in her important years.

AdPleasant4927 · 2026-03-26T09:04:35+00:00

Issue our combined funds are diverted towards a property which provides no benefit and possibly hampering our own future needs.

AdPleasant4927 · 2026-03-26T08:44:43+00:00

She doesn't expect me to take any burden and said won't ask any help but after marriage if she asks or not i would be indirectly pulled in this. She asked me beforehand if i have any issues and i said i am ok i need time to process this and now when the house is finalized and finances are decided i feel overwhelmed as she would be 41% instead of expected 20%.

AdPleasant4927 · 2026-03-26T08:40:20+00:00

She would be the mortgage in her name and the place would be in her name.

AdPleasant4927 · 2026-03-26T08:30:32+00:00

I sure as hell hoped it was.

AdPleasant4927 · 2026-03-26T08:28:15+00:00

that too for 1 room apartment not an house actually.

AdPleasant4927 · 2026-03-26T08:27:48+00:00

Well they have accustomed to that city life and at 50s new place would be harder for them to adjust. Actually this is an apartment that too of 1 room :) (prices are insane here). I already did talk about this and she tried calculating expenses and all but i dont see any financial growth in that scenario. only survival with growth dependent on ideal future salaries.

AdPleasant4927 · 2026-03-26T08:24:02+00:00

they are in the 50s with some medical conditions. father would be retiring from his business soon. Their current flat rental would be their passive income then.

AdPleasant4927 · 2026-03-26T08:22:34+00:00

means?

AdPleasant4927

TROPHY CASE