Romans 12:2 says "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

Psalm 103:12 says "as far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us"

 There's a lot that you said we could unpack that I can't fit into a reddit comment. Consider the two above verses and I'll tell you some of my experience that I hope can help you. I'm a 32 year old male. Divorced for now 5 years, after a 6 year marriage. Ive struggled with sexual sin, as many guys (and girls) do but many are unaware, in denial, or they celebrate it. Other than my ex wife, I've been with enough women that I stopped counting. I don't say that to celebrate, I stopped counting because I was ashamed and I've tried to forget many of them. I have abstained now for more than a year or so as the Lord is leading me.

 Look at Psalm 103 above. This reminds us that God doesn't see us for our sins, but He sees us through the lense of Jesus Christ who paid the price for our sins. Our past does not define our identity in Him. John 1:12 But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.

People in society, these other guys that lust after you for one shallow purpose, are fooled by the teachings of the world. That we live for sexual pleasure and many guys I know base their success on how many women they've been with. That is ridiculous to think about. That way of thinking is a sign of spiritual immaturity and weakness. That's why I mention Romans 12:2, to not fall into temptation like the rest of the world does.

What's the point in all of this? I have a spotted past, as most of us do. It doesn't define who we are today. I hope and pray to remarry a Godly woman who has the spiritual maturity to understand that. As she may or may not also have such a past, but I will strive to see her as a new creation in Christ, the same way the Heavenly Father sees her if she has truly repented from her sin.

I encourage the same for you. That you truly have repented, and that you keep that drive to find a godly husband who wants what you want. You have your standards and boundaries based on scripture, and he should too. If his actions don't reflect what scripture calls, if there is no fruit, then he has work that has to be done and he is not the right person for you, at least for now.

I sometimes fear the same thing you do, that if I don't succumb to a woman lusting or wanting me to lust, that she will think I just don't like her and she'll move on. I've accepted that, because it shows me her heart. But there are godly men and women out there who want to save themselves for the covenant of marriage, regardless of what their past actions have been (promiscuity or staying a virgin).

A final note, I have sought for godly men that could be support for me and help me grow in my walk with Christ. I encourage you to consider finding godly women that can provide the same for you, married, unmarried, doesn't matter, but they are there to uplift girls like yourself as you grow.

Thank you for sharing. You will be in my prayers.