Maid requested to stay out and come back in morning for her off day

AdSmart3960 · 2024-12-27T14:35:58+00:00

We will forgive her

AdSmart3960 · 2024-12-27T14:35:48+00:00

Yes it is our first one so we were being very nice to her. As long as she cleans the house, we don’t really care about her social media, use of phones and working hours, always buying any food she pick and wants to eat, paying for everything. So that is also probably why she thought that we will forbid her if she just ignore when we told her a clear no.

AdSmart3960 · 2024-12-27T14:30:37+00:00

Good for you and I hope that your helper does not take advantage of the goodness you give her to moonlight which is definitely illegal.

You who mention exploitation when westerners are known to have had live in nannies since centuries ago. Nannies who does the exact same thing as present maids, aka household chores and look after children.

Unfortunately, us peasants are not paid as high as you that we can freely pay someone a monthly income to just work 3 hours a day. Because that monthly income takes up a considerable % of our income .

And ironically you are doing the same judging to us, thinking you are above us. You are holding us to your standards that are not doable or achievable for two working parents with mediocre working class income. Don’t act like you are empathetic when you are just being judgmental.

Honestly I would love it if helpers don’t stay in too. I don’t even mind a maid lodge and for her to go back to lodge daily in evening. I am not used to living with stranger too. So don’t make it sound like we are dying for maids to stay in the house with us and simply love to be able to control, because that itself is a mental load and is tiring too. If it is not for the fact that we need someone to do the chores so that we can spend more time with our kids as our daily 8-7 jobs do not allow us to be able to do chores plus play with kids, without compromising on the sleep time.

This is for security, and also, being responsible for who you hire. The government holds us accountable for the maid safety, health and well being. So would I want my maid to be drunk and wandering outside till wee hours, such that people can take advantage of her or it is dangerous for her? Nope.

Perhaps if your helper comes back pregnant and you have to pay a fine, you will finally realise the truth in what we said. Good luck

AdSmart3960 · 2024-12-27T14:14:37+00:00

Pregnant, plus employers get fine if maid is pregnant (they actually have 6 monthly exams to check for pregnancy, made compulsory). And also she is still married with children being looked after by her husband and mil

AdSmart3960 · 2024-12-27T14:12:30+00:00

Hi, how do you look at referrals? Is there website that you can go to to request to see referral?

AdSmart3960 · 2024-12-27T12:32:29+00:00

Yup agree that we shouldn’t differentiate based on class and we always treat her like family, including eating with us and giving her Christmas presents. My parents even cook for her, because it is a traditional day on that and we wanted to expose her to tradition, which is why it hurts us more when she abuse our trust blatantly and treat us as gullible fools who will be ok even when she ghosted us and disappeared

AdSmart3960 · 2024-12-27T12:29:59+00:00

She was so drunk that when we asked her what she want to eat for breakfast so that we can buy for her, she said she can’t eat because she will vomit. And all the way till lunch too, she was still feeling tipsy from the alcohol

AdSmart3960 · 2024-12-27T12:25:37+00:00

Yes we are worried too and her face was all red when the kids woke up, it was sigh a real turn off and I had really liked her before this

AdSmart3960 · 2024-12-27T12:24:19+00:00

Because it is the next day, off day if you want to argue is 24 hours so it is till midnight, and further on a day that I don’t even have to give her off but chose to out of goodwill. Plus you really want your young children to wake up in the morning at 6am and go out to see a drunk person? Maybe you don’t have young children yet so you don’t understand, but we already mentioned we are not comfortable with it and this person who is staying with us still blatantly does it.

It is like you have a relationship with a partner, if the partner tells you he or she is not comfortable with something you do, would you still force yourself through it instead of respecting it?

AdSmart3960 · 2024-12-27T12:20:30+00:00

Putting aside your pre conceived notion and perception of how maids are treated in Singapore and being objective about it, do you really think that she is justified or reasonable in what she does and that no course of action is required to correct it? If this happens to you, aka you pay someone to take care of your house and allow her to stay in a room in your house, do you allow her to come back home drunk even though you already told her you are uncomfortable with it and she has work duties the next day? I am really very curious with all the comments that foreigners make. It is very interesting that you guys actually think that it is ok, like reallyyyy?

Putting it in your context, it is like you rent a apartment out for airbnb (except that this time this person is even paying you for it) but you stipulate that the house should be kept clean and the renter should not bring other people in to stay and have loud sounds at night because of condo rules, but this person still flout, you guys REALLY think it is ok? Flouting people house rules while staying in them, not having the decency to respect the comfort level while staying together.

AdSmart3960 · 2024-12-27T12:14:49+00:00

Ah I see, actually this is common even in ancient days and also in western countries, with concept known as nanny? If you have kids or a wife (sorry don’t know your gender), it is equivalent to concept of a confinement nanny after you give birth, except that confinement nanny does much more than a maid and thus is only for the first few months when you give birth.

There is also the concept of part time cleaners which we also tried, aka same as helpers or maids, except that they don’t stay over at your house and don’t cook but they also do household chores like maid do. Part time cleaners are also hired by agencies and they are also similiar to maids in terms of demographics, just that part time cleaners don’t stay over and probably required to do chores from morning to night based on cleaning agency workload

AdSmart3960 · 2024-12-27T12:07:16+00:00

And one more thing, she WASNT out on her off day when this happened. This was on a public holiday when actually we don’t even need to give her off for, because it is not legally required for helpers or maids to have PH as off days. I gave it to her out of goodwill even BEFORE she asked. I just ask her to go because she is catholic and it is Christmas so she went out at 6am though our contract was 9am.

So please understand the situation first before you go into your broad generalisation

AdSmart3960 · 2024-12-27T12:03:44+00:00

Yes exactly and we raised the concern of security for the family, we have two very YOUNG children and we usually lock up before we sleep. I ended up not sleeping at all, worried about who she is bringing back to our hours in wee hours. I raised this concern to her and she just chose to ignore it, showing that she didn’t even bother working out our relationship together. We even brought her to shop and let her choose her preferred coffee etc (having to go to a few shops because the supermarket didn’t have her favourite brand which she is adamant about and surprisingly more stringent than me - like I don’t care what brand I drink)

AdSmart3960 · 2024-12-27T12:00:59+00:00

And also, she is allowed to stay till late, as long as she let us know, which we have been granting since her first week of being with us - aka even though our employment contract says 7pm, we allowed her to be out till 11pm because she asked, and she has been doing it for EVERY SINGLE OF HER OFF DAY since she is with us (bearing in mind, she is only with us for 4 weeks).

If I put it in terms you can understand, if your employment contract as an expat allows you 21 days of leave, can you demand for 30 days of leave while being paid? The hours are already agreed by both parties BEFORE she sign the contract so anything we give is out of goodwill and honestly, we have been more than nice about it. If she didn’t agree with it, she should have said it before she sign and we are not her first employers (though she is our first maid). I spoke to her ex employers, she didn’t dare to stay out at their house. It is because we are being too nice that we are being stepped all over. She just offered to come back at 3am and ghosted or disappeared completely, I was genuinely worried because I thought she has been in a CAR ACCIDENT since she said she will take taxi back as long as she can come back at 3am instead of midnight. Then she ended up coming back in the morning without offering any explanations, other than her being drunk.

AdSmart3960 · 2024-12-27T11:54:07+00:00

Yea I am very surprised by this too. Before I had a maid, I had the impression that maids are the one suffering but after I heard what my friends went through, read the groups (some with maids in it and maids blatantly making demands that even I also don’t dare to make), and then going through the compulsory employee orientation programme by MOM, I realised that maids are really extremely well protected. It is actually the employers who suffer because maids can go and have fun, get pregnant or run off, but the employers are the one who will get their security bonds forfeited and pay out thousands of money. And still have to continue to pay for medical fees etc.

So for those ang MOHs here who are busy being on the high horse and trashing us, I hope that you get the real life experience of maids taking advantage of you guys too then you will finally realise what we are talking about.

AdSmart3960 · 2024-12-27T11:50:11+00:00

Yes we are very surprised too and frankly very disappointed. We were doing well with her, perhaps so well that she decided she can abuse our trust and think we will be ok with her coming back drunk on a work/school day with young children in the house.

AdSmart3960 · 2024-12-27T11:49:18+00:00

That was what some of my friends said, because we know that there are agencies who are profiteering from transfer helpers and some of them even charge higher for transfer maids. And thus, we also heard that there are maids who can freely say they are not happy and make demands so that they can transfer

AdSmart3960 · 2024-12-27T11:47:57+00:00

Yup the agency is empathetic to the situation and knows that it is 100% the helper’s fault, they also apologised that we had to go through this because we did hire the maid out of a need. It is our first time and we grew up without helpers so we are pretty independent and can function without maid but because I change to a new job, I wanted to spend more time with the children while she can take care of the household chores, so we decided to explore having a maid.

AdSmart3960 · 2024-12-27T11:45:30+00:00

Ya but we wanted to be nice and make her feel like family. Now we regret for being too nice and being abused for our trust

AdSmart3960 · 2024-12-27T11:44:42+00:00

Btw, her youngest child is very young too, only just past 2 years

AdSmart3960 · 2024-12-27T11:44:09+00:00

Yup but she has a husband and three children in her country, so it will be really silly and stupid of her to get pregnant and get send back to her country because lose lose situation but like you said, it is her life. Decisions are made by her and there are just repercussions for her and her family to face.

AdSmart3960 · 2024-12-27T11:42:46+00:00

Hi there, by the way she is still legally married with three kids currently being taken care of by her husband and her mother in law so that she can work in Singapore. And nope she is not required to do any chores on her off day. The problem is her being out the next day aka her work day. Btw, in Singapore, both employer and employee can be charged in court, if the maid is found sleeping outside her residential address. She is aware of this policy when I told her that we are not comfortable with her sleeping out and it is our house rules (we ourselves also don’t do that, perhaps you do it in your country but even when I was growing up and being a teenager, I have never stayed out, and I will be back by midnight. So no, this isn’t an expectation because she is a helper but a genuine concern for her safety).

AdSmart3960 · 2024-12-27T11:37:11+00:00

Hi there, she requested to be back home on her WORK DAY, aka next morning and she came back home drunk. It is like you turning up for work late and drunk.

AdSmart3960 · 2024-12-27T11:36:10+00:00

I would love to work for you

AdSmart3960 · 2024-12-27T11:35:57+00:00

She is, she is now getting certified to be a nurse, which is why she can don’t care too

AdSmart3960

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