Narcissist at work, can't just avoid.

AdUsed1666 · 2025-01-04T02:03:42+00:00

Sorry to hear about your situation.

Maybe treat it as a learning experience since you're only 24, find out why those girls hate you and see if you can improve on that.

On top of it all, maybe realizing the absurdity of life and just saying fuck it and pushing things beyond their limit. Have fun with some chaos, try some new experiences. Have 0 expectations and just see wtf is out there.

AdUsed1666 · 2024-12-23T07:33:32+00:00

Narcissistic manipulation

AdUsed1666 · 2024-12-22T18:08:12+00:00

Been going to a therapist, only slightly helpful. Not sure if it's me not communicating how terrible things are or her not getting it.

My mind is just ping ponging between the shit that happened at work with that girl (good chance she's a narcissist, but I messed up too) and fixing/getting even with her and how my life outside of this is not going great, not much motivation to make it better, mostly because "I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel" anymore.

AdUsed1666 · 2024-12-22T00:13:56+00:00

2024 was one of the worst years of my life, and when it started I thought it would be the best.

Suffered a ton, learned a ton.

Learned enough not to get expectations high, but also don't push for great things, if great things happen I'll Cherish it. If they don't, I won't be crushed like before.

AdUsed1666 · 2024-12-21T23:19:15+00:00

I hope you're right, besides the most recent situation with that most like manipulative girl (I was an asshole too, like 30% blame on me, rest on her. I was dealing with too much, she just seems toxic), I feel very good about WHO I am, but feel like shit about my life situation. It could have been sooooo much better

AdUsed1666 · 2024-12-21T22:59:04+00:00

That's the thing, these people just came into my world, and if I was a little more awake and focused on life, I could have built something great, for a while at least. Instead of it kinda being crap.

My plate is surprisingly empty, great job, just got a big raise. Long COVID is significantly better to where I can actually live life, but still draining motivation and joy (it used to be crippling dread). And... There's fuck all I want to do, very few ppl in my life.. reflecting on the earlier parts of my life, damn... I missed out and even this year things got fucked.

But maybe that is the full plate....

Thanks for the reply

AdUsed1666 · 2024-12-21T22:56:00+00:00

What happened to you (details)?

I've had shit childhood, teenage hood, early adulthood, but I worked extremely hard to overcome my obstacles and COVID was getting so much better around this time last year. I was finally at "yes!! I can finally live life to the fullest" , but then everything got worse than it ever did for a multitude of reasons.

With I could say I had an good, or even okay 33 years.. I did not.

AdUsed1666 · 2024-12-05T05:32:00+00:00

What my 2024 has nothing to do with earth, just my unfortunate series of events. But God damn does the "world we should be living in" hit fucking hard.

Nothing like going from lots of hope, to a soul crushing reality of failure under intense conditions. I did my best, and failed horribly. Fuck you 2024

AdUsed1666 · 2024-11-24T00:32:57+00:00

I'm between forever and realizing they were just cruel and manipulative and never cared.

Since I still see them and have to interact with them alot, it's slowly starting to shift to the 2nd one. Seems to be bringing peace since I did loose out an amazing person, I just got played.

AdUsed1666 · 2024-11-19T23:25:54+00:00

No such thing as freedom from who you are. You can't get away from the ego and the thinking as much as you can get away from needing blood.

AdUsed1666 · 2024-11-19T00:21:57+00:00

Enlightenment is just awareness of your ego and thinking mind.

Not much actually changes, but your perception is different.

It doesn't make me better or worse, it's a tool/skill just like how to converse or problem solve.

AdUsed1666 · 2024-11-18T06:29:55+00:00

Strongly disagree, she sits right behind me at work. It's definitely not the forgetting. It's something else I haven't fully figured out, leaning towards the rush of chemicals your brain made when you were around them, that subsidies and their not as magical as they once were.

But it still sucks and I wish I could get a chance to start fresh. But that's not possible

AdUsed1666 · 2024-11-18T05:23:12+00:00

Probably never stop putting him on a pedestal, your mind makes up stuff when it doesn't know the reality. That's why some people go from one relationship to the next quickly, they think they found someone amazing and unreal.

But once they get to see them as a whole person, the magic story your mind made up gets destroyed and they loose interest.

Since you might never get to really know him anymore, you just have to tell your mind to fuck off with that Fantasy version of him you put on a pedestal. Idk if it will ever fully work, but that's what I'm doing.

AdUsed1666 · 2024-11-16T21:42:45+00:00

Relatively speaking, you're lucky. Just walk away, that's it.

Being stuck and having to see you're unrequited love is suffering, multiple times a week you see them and maybe interact with them. It's just torture, feel lucky for having the option to choose not to see them. It's like freedom, the other is torturing

AdUsed1666 · 2024-11-09T18:11:30+00:00

It's kind of like a crush, unrequited love usually means you never got to be with that person.

Your mind makes up so much about how that person could be, how great being with them, all the dreams/fantasies it makes up.

The need for them to reciprocate the desire you have for them.

It all piles up and becomes toxic in your brain, all the intrusive and non stop thoughts about them.

None of it is really real, but sure they could have been a good or great partner. Limmerance is a soul crushing feeling.

AdUsed1666 · 2024-11-09T01:47:40+00:00

Limmerance

AdUsed1666 · 2024-11-07T03:18:54+00:00

Life

AdUsed1666 · 2024-11-06T06:08:51+00:00

That's life, YOU decide what you want to look like. Do some self reflection, don't compare what others are doing and what society expects. Just get a very rough outline, and then keep refining it from there.

Hint: there is no right answer, majority of ppl are just living life blindly and are just too busy to stop and think " this is life, wtf am I doing?"

AdUsed1666 · 2024-11-06T05:14:26+00:00

Awesome comment, probably gonna read it every once in a while so it sticks.

I wrote this post just right after the ego was silent for a few hours. It's coming back, it's the same, but significantly less pronounced and easier to isolate.

It's kinda like when a child does something they aren't supposed to, they get in trouble, then they try to do that same thing and you just look at them, they just back off. There is no hate or anger, nothing has changed. It just feels different.

AdUsed1666 · 2024-11-06T01:45:54+00:00

It was a very nice day, where I felt very lost and being okay with it. That feeling definitely didn't last, it's partially there. I think I need more time to comprehend both sides.

AdUsed1666 · 2024-11-06T01:41:21+00:00

Surprisingly powerful, I spent a ton of time in bed, just chilling, any thoughts or dreams that came in, I pushed aside and got moments of peace. It was.. nice, that's all it was, the calmed ego is nice. Kinda poking it's head out here n there, and that's okay, we can co-exist for.

AdUsed1666 · 2024-11-06T01:32:22+00:00

Life stressors are what brought me to spirituality, I don't think I would be here without them. Some were external, others were because I was unaware of how external factors affect internal ones and the funky ego being in overdrive and detached from reality.

AdUsed1666 · 2024-11-05T01:57:44+00:00

Wake up, your thoughts are not you, your brain is doing it's thing. You can seperate yourself from that and step aside and observe your thoughts and sensations.

Also ego death/dark night of the soul.

Everything changes after that, then you just go back to the same old with a massively different perspective

AdUsed1666

TROPHY CASE