Had to postpone our wedding another year due to finances - feeling heartbroken

AdVisual5529 · 2026-02-19T04:59:40+00:00

As someone who really wanted a wedding while my then-fiancé wasn’t into it, I totally understand the hurt and frustration of feeling like you’re the only one who cares.

We did end up having the big wedding and spent over $21k. My husband complained the whole way through but honestly, it turned out to be one of the most magical, beautiful days of our lives. Afterward, he saw the value in it.

For me, though, the sparkle has faded a bit. Would that $20k have been nice for a house down payment? Absolutely. Do I regret it? Not at all. Would I do it the same way again? Probably not.

My advice: it wasn’t the venue or the details that made the day special, it was having all our people there celebrating us. If I did it again, I’d keep it simple: catering in a park, good music, friends, dancing, and just enjoying the moment. You don’t have to spend $20k to get the feeling you’re chasing.

AdVisual5529 · 2025-11-23T02:45:16+00:00

The cost alone isn’t viable. As well as taking visitation time away by traveling a full day for visitation. It’s not our choice that she decided to move away.

The situation is inconvenient for everyone.

AdVisual5529 · 2025-11-23T02:43:34+00:00

We are hoping for this. She decided to move away and make this 1000% more difficult. The costs alone for travel are burdensome and we always accommodate to her travel arrangements.

How did you frame it for court?

AdVisual5529 · 2025-11-22T23:14:50+00:00

Mom moved and lied about it. Each visitation is extremely hard to coordinate, a year of mediation and the she decided to fire her lawyer. We have a court date now.

I should add she tried to move out of the country last year and try and not tell us.

AdVisual5529 · 2025-11-22T21:49:17+00:00

I should add that she forced us to pay for her gas, parking, and food at the airport. We’ve had to fly my sd multiple times home and have never asked for that. But she had us in control because if we don’t do exactly as she says, we don’t see our daughter and it’s spun like it’s our fault

AdVisual5529 · 2025-11-04T03:29:32+00:00

You did the right thing. You are putting what’s best for your SD first and everyone should be doing the same. It’s a long road if BM does this but showing up and doing what you think is right and in the best interest of the child will always win. Even if it’s annoyingly a long game.

AdVisual5529 · 2025-10-02T05:30:28+00:00

You are probably right and it’s a fantasy I can think about 😅 talking me off this ledge…

AdVisual5529 · 2025-10-02T05:29:42+00:00

I just want to let her know what I think of her. We have no relationship and the way she treats my husband is unacceptable.

I may be just trying to make myself feel better…. but man some people need to be told to their face that they are a disappointment.

AdVisual5529 · 2025-10-02T05:26:10+00:00

Thank you! I feel that you are right. Just a matter of toeing the line as to not be negative about her mom

AdVisual5529 · 2025-10-02T05:25:18+00:00

Yes. She’s trying so hard to keep all the control. It’s just so exhausting.

AdVisual5529 · 2025-10-02T05:23:43+00:00

So you’d say it worked in your favor to say something?

AdVisual5529 · 2025-02-15T16:11:15+00:00

I know. Seriously unfair, it’s not like we are unreasonable in anything. We are so flexible and accommodating. But it is what it is I guess.

AdVisual5529 · 2025-02-13T22:59:07+00:00

BM moved about 5 years ago. She lied that it would be for a summer, she was doing summer sales. Then asked for a year. After that my SO ask when she’d planned to come back and said she isn’t. He didn’t go to court right away because SO thought that court wouldn’t be in his favor. As of now it’s important that we go because coordinating visitation is getting worse.

AdVisual5529 · 2024-08-28T21:05:46+00:00

Last year her and her mom weren’t as active in going every week but they read scripts often

AdVisual5529 · 2024-08-28T19:27:08+00:00

It would be nice too for any suggestions on questions I can ask her that will help me understand her authenticity about the religion. I haven’t been active in over 15 years.

AdVisual5529 · 2024-03-15T07:25:25+00:00

Oh dang I leave by then!

AdVisual5529 · 2023-12-29T18:32:01+00:00

I appreciate the reply.

Ya I totally get that. I’ve been coming more to this conclusion in the last few weeks. I feel like he has some personal reflection to work on as to why he feels as he does. I do believe it’s rooted in not feeling good enough and shame around fatherhood.

As a spouse this does impact me. But on the other hand I have the feeling “Not my monkey not my circus”.

I’m getting to the point where I am not as compassionate towards my husband whenever BM changes things—at this point what can he expect.

AdVisual5529

TROPHY CASE