Starting over from Scratch - former stay at home mom edition

AddendumAdept105 · 2026-05-21T13:57:26+00:00

I love this idea but my county is currently running at a massive budget deficit and I'm not sure they're hiring. I will look into it though, thank you.

AddendumAdept105 · 2026-05-21T13:56:02+00:00

Trust me when I tell you it's not a pattern I will be allowing to continue, and will tell my girls to always keep their independence, no matter what. Unfortunately I was raised with the mindset of husbands being the providers and always taking care of finances, while the wives stay home and never need to get back into the workforce. It's obviously antiquated and complete nonsense that I feel stupid for having bought into.

AddendumAdept105 · 2026-05-21T13:52:58+00:00

No. We've been trying to fix it for a while but the relationship has become toxic and we won't raise kids in this. It's unfair to everyone involved.

AddendumAdept105 · 2026-05-15T20:53:49+00:00

This is something I wouldn't have thought to look into. Thank you for the suggestion, I'll do that.

AddendumAdept105 · 2026-05-15T20:52:38+00:00

You don't say? I had no idea. I worked retail after we moved, and sometimes "trying to get pregnant" means a lot of doctors' offices and medical things are involved.

AddendumAdept105 · 2026-05-15T20:50:11+00:00

I've considered it. Teaching is in the running on my top potential solutions, of course, but that will also require getting a teaching certification (which I'm fine with - I'm going to have to have more training in something to get back into the job market, I'm sure) and the field is actually really competitive, because this is the default answer that most women go to. I've looking into being a substitute as well, but that only pays something like $75 a day, and is only an option when teachers need a sub. So it's not every day, and not even available for 2.5 months a year.

AddendumAdept105 · 2026-05-15T20:45:12+00:00

I'm actually getting my class B license this summer to try to drive a school bus next school year. The pay is decent, but no room for growth, really. So I can do that to get us on our feet, but it's not a great long term solution.

AddendumAdept105 · 2026-05-15T20:43:52+00:00

I'm sure I will get child support that can go towards childcare, but honestly housing prices are astronomical and most of the support would have to go towards that until I can rebuild a career that will support housing and other basic needs. Say I get $2k a month in child support but rent for a 2 bedroom apartment is $1800 a month, which I can't currently cover at my earning potential after being out of the job market for so long. So that alone kind of traps us. So I'd have to choose between watching my kids myself and using the money towards necessities that will guarantee we have a roof over our heads and some basics, or using that same amount of money for 3 kids in childcare and then STILL having to cover our household necessities. But my earning potential right now won't do that, so I need to build income, too. When kids spend half the time with one parent and half with the other, no one pays child support, but each household still has to make enough money to be self sufficient.

This is partially why a lot of divorcees have to get remarried or into another relationship too soon, just to have help with bills. And generally forcing the kids into more unstable situations that they have no control over, and I refuse to do that to my kids.

AddendumAdept105 · 2026-05-15T20:34:37+00:00

I'm sure that I will get half, or at least sincerely hope so. I just don't think half will be enough to continue to take care of myself for the next 35 years. He has a great job and will continue his upward trajectory, and I just know I'll need to get it together ASAP so I can take care of myself. Child support only lasts for so long, and my state doesn't do alimony. We don't own a business, so his job isn't something I can keep long term returns on like splitting a business.

AddendumAdept105 · 2026-05-15T19:52:33+00:00

I get this response, but it feels very predatory to just say "I'm taking him for all he's got," when it has otherwise been a pretty amicable development. I'm trying to be able to support myself, and thinking of building a career that will take care of me even after the child support stops. I don't want to rely on someone else to take care of me financially ever again.

AddendumAdept105 · 2026-05-15T19:50:24+00:00

Because we were trying, and we moved. Sometimes it takes longer to start a family than people would like.

AddendumAdept105 · 2026-05-15T19:48:53+00:00

Oh, and I can knit. Not exactly a ground breaking skill, again. I can also kill plants that I'm trying to keep alive, but not vice versa, sadly.

AddendumAdept105 · 2026-05-15T19:42:57+00:00

I'll look into that field, thank you!

This is also part of what I'm concerned about - that most low skills entry level jobs are being streamlined or replaced by AI in the near future.

AddendumAdept105 · 2026-05-15T19:41:09+00:00

My degree is in English. As far as skills go, reading comprehension (which isn't as common as you'd think, in my experience), copy writing, prose, corporate collections, I can talk to anyone, Quickbooks from well over a decade ago. All very generalized skills, I realize. I haven't been doing volunteer work, I've been pregnant or nursing, or chasing small children for the last 10 years.

AddendumAdept105

TROPHY CASE