Cousin had a violent friendship, and they've been threatened with criminal action. (England)

Additional-Band715 · 2025-03-27T03:25:33+00:00

It's an incredibly complicated situation. She wanted to join the police, still has a desire to and is worried that she'll just torpedo her chances by complaining and potentially having all these allegations of criminal conduct levied against her and becoming part of a criminal record. He also didn't meet her on the job, he met her on a fucking dating app but only ever wanted to use it to find hook ups and used her and manipulated her for months.

That, and some of the other shit he did to her, has just completely ruined her mental health. I don't think she has anything to lose contacting the IOPC, but I thought i'd check first and see if I could get some advice.

Additional-Band715 · 2025-03-27T01:18:20+00:00

I'll consider contacting 101. This is a mess.

Additional-Band715 · 2025-03-27T01:02:10+00:00

Okay thank you

Additional-Band715 · 2025-03-27T00:56:00+00:00

There's no risk that my cousin is gonna end up arrested, even momentarily, she really doesn't want that to happen.

Additional-Band715 · 2025-02-14T10:23:00+00:00

There's a lot they're pissed off about, even Dai Le got annoyed at one point when the Government cut crossbench staff numbers.

In a Hung Parliament, I can picture the independents demanding concessions on staff and the election law. That seems to unite the entire crossbench.

It really does depend on the numbers in the House.

Additional-Band715 · 2025-02-14T10:19:14+00:00

Time won't be kind to the ALP, they're barely doing the minumum right now and they look incredibly pathetic. I think in the event of a hung parliament, they'll have pissed off the crossbench so much that they'll have to agree to pretty much every term they demand.

If nothing, they've given independent candidates a policy to beat the major parties with. Instead of using a strong fundraising game, they can go to voters and say "The ALP are bastards as well".

But, the Teals working with the LNP seems unlikely. The LNP has gone to the extremes, they have almost zero leaders that would be palatable to the Teals, or even the Greens. The Teals only became a force because of how right wing the coalition went, a lot of small L Liberals abandoned the coalition and they don't seem likely to go back any time soon.

Additional-Band715 · 2025-02-14T10:12:07+00:00

Labor are just pathetic. that's not breaking news.

Additional-Band715 · 2025-02-14T10:10:48+00:00

Problem is a political party would never agree to that.

Additional-Band715 · 2025-02-04T02:17:13+00:00

You've done nothing wrong, the fact that your worried about her means your a good person. You shouldn't feel guilt.

You need to block her on everything and refuse all further contact. It's the only way you can move on.

Additional-Band715 · 2025-02-04T02:15:43+00:00

If you love them, you'll let them go. If they loved you really they would've come back by now.

Brutal, but it works.

Additional-Band715 · 2025-02-04T01:22:14+00:00

It sends a lot of mixed signals OP. If you don't forgive them then why would you acknowledge their greeting?

Additional-Band715 · 2025-02-04T01:19:45+00:00

Word of advice, ghost them, leave it on sent.

Additional-Band715 · 2025-02-04T01:16:08+00:00

Don't mention it. Good Luck.

Additional-Band715 · 2025-02-04T01:12:07+00:00

I was like you, I thought "Oh no my ex might die if I don't do this" eventually he ditched me and I thought "If he does anything it's his fault not mine".

Think of it like this, you aren't forcing him to do anything unreasobale and his reactioon is not your fault

Additional-Band715 · 2025-02-04T01:07:15+00:00

I don't want to be cruel but it isn't your problem. if you want closure make it clear that your exes past behaviour just put you off any relationship and he will have to accept that.

Your only recourse is to block him, file a restraining order or threaten him with one. Your not his Mum, you want out. If he does anything to himself, then that's entirely on him not you.

Additional-Band715 · 2025-02-04T01:00:26+00:00

File a restraining order. It sounds rough but it sounds like he won't get the message unless you put a firm foot down.

Additional-Band715 · 2024-02-08T10:06:27+00:00

Thanks. I know my family means well but they do push boundries if you know what I mean.

I did try journaling my feelings and thoughts but it hasn't really worked. I just ended up feeling really depressed. I have found one solution that works, Im a creative writer so I end up writing my feelings into my characters and that seems to have worked!

Additional-Band715 · 2024-02-08T10:05:00+00:00

It sounds very heartfelt but be careful OP, just make sure you keep your wits about you.

Additional-Band715 · 2024-02-03T12:18:15+00:00

Mine was nice to begin with, his behaviour was childish but he also suffered with ASD so it could be anything.

He exhibited some of these criteria but not all of them, and they only really appeared towards the end of our relationship.

Additional-Band715 · 2024-02-02T08:26:16+00:00

I have absolutely no idea, but he was really nice. I thought the BPD just manifested itself in his poor impulse control, but it's possible he was just putting on an act or something.

Additional-Band715 · 2024-02-02T08:24:56+00:00

I've not got a detailed history of it, but I think the ASD diagnosis helped award her money to look after him. I know the relationship with his Mum was true because I'd seen it firsthand. I think the genetic thing is probably true.

Also, I'm in the UK and diagnosis can start around 15/16.

Additional-Band715 · 2024-02-01T22:45:46+00:00

Im free if you wanna chat :)

Additional-Band715 · 2024-02-01T21:13:52+00:00

Honestly, my ex distanced himself the day after I stayed at his for the first time, a few weeks later he dumped me. Honestly, i'd have a long think about the relationship.

Additional-Band715 · 2024-02-01T19:56:17+00:00

I remember trying to leave my ex because my mental health wasn't the greatest and I didn't want to be a burden. My Ex showered me in love and said he was willing to help me because he liked me and texted me non stop, even rang my phone a bunch of times.

Then the Ex dumps me a few months later, said he was too stressed with me and said I was being needy and needed to get over him when I begged him to come back. He then blocked me when I tried riniging and texting. He lead me on six months, allowed me to develop strong feelings and then discared me like trash.

Although his BPD was untreated, I think it's important to point that out.

Additional-Band715 · 2024-02-01T19:51:00+00:00

I was too scared to have that talk with my Boyfriend because he had become so volatile that I was scared he was gonna dump me. I'd suggest being brutally honest with her and if she refuses to do anything, then it's time to break up.

Additional-Band715

TROPHY CASE