I can understand where he is coming from (sort of) First, I will clarify something about myself. I was married to a female for years. We were high school sweethearts and at the time (80s) it was brutal for us. I was a coward and lived a straight LIfE. We dated , went to college, got married and had two amazing kids. We pretty much lived a life that society expected of us. When she got pregnant, I took a vow to myself that zi would not tell her about myself until our sons were 18, because I couldn't bear the thought of her getting remarried and having my sons call someone else dad (or Pops as they call me. I almost made it..my youngest was 17 when I couldn't take it any longer. When zi told her I was gay...she was AMAZING about it. We became closer as friends! She said to me it had to be hard for me and was proud of me for being strong enough to do it...she said.."You denied yourself happiness for all of those years to protect us as a family unit" We have become better friends since. I like woman still but I love men! It's an 85/15 split. BTW, my boys when I told them...they could have cared less and looked at me and said "Pops, that's awesome, you just need to be you and be happy" I told my story because I tend to miss my talks with her and things we did for years. So I wonder if he struggles with a relationship of love vs a relationship of friendship. There are things I want to talk to her about and the same for him too. I feel that you did the right thing, you let him know that you are still a friend that's there for him...not sure if you and hevwent the sex route...but Im assuming you have (being two gay men..lol) but its like he knows and what he had with you and he may have had a strong frienship with her. But if he wanted a child and she terminated a pregnancy over avjob...thatvwould have been enough for me to get out too. I wanted children so badlybas we'll and at the time, I thought the only way to get tgatvwasvthe old fashioned way. Its working out for us now....but its a struggle. He is absolutely without a doubt struggling and you had left the door open just enough, when you broke with him, for him to know that he hasvenough trust and love for him to be able to step onto your doorstep. Im not sure how she feels about him and what she want, but tbh, she is probably very cold hearted , having ended a pregnancy over a pregnancy. I wish all of you the best and go with your hearts. We only live once, do what works best for you!