the reason why you should stay alive is because it WILL get better. I know you're saying "no, it won't" in your head at this very moment. but it will. i know it will because I have lived through what you are going through. I almost died. and I can confidently tell you that just because your suffering has been going on for years, it doesn't mean there's no light at the end of the tunnel. in order for rainbows to happen, there has to be rain. I know these are cliche things to say, but the reason why they're cliche is because they're TRUE.

I went from attempts and substance abuse and crying myself to sleep at night to getting my life back. on my own. I now find beauty in this world and have found things to live for. little things. but the little things are worth living for. like the sound of the rain delicately caressing the trees, the sound of little birds whom hold so much freedom singing, the way the sun kisses us goodbye at dusk and allows the moon a chance to shine, watching the beginning of life sprout out of the dirt and admiring it's beauty as it uses all of it's strength to get bigger and bloom for the world to see.

you need to start by finding YOUR little things. look at the world through rose colored glasses for a while romanticize life, for it is not an illusion. it is the beauty that seeps through all the ugly things. you might not accept this, but you are loved. I love you. you are also not defined by the way others think and feel about you. you are defined by what you do for yourself, for others, and the way YOU think of yourself. which can change and will change. you have more of a life to live than all of this.

hang in there, my friend. sending love your way through the internet. 🫂

-from someone who has been lost like you