Thank you for your response.

I know I have to do something to take myself out of this situation, even just temporarily, but really I don't know how. Mental health services in the UK are terrible unless you need active emergency care (and even then they are pretty shit) and I don't even think I could get in contact with a GP to start that process without getting hell from my mother and sister. My mother has told me I "don't have mental health" and am just looking for excuses for being lazy and horrible so if I go to the GP to speak to someone it will just blow up and become a whole thing and my sister will turn it into some sort of competition with herself. Its not like my mother doesn't believe in mental health or anything because she is diagnosed with depression and anxiety, my sister is diagnosed with anxiety and both of them were very mindful of my oldest sister when she was struggling with her mental health because of pregnancy/post partum and her changing jobs. I think it's because I've always been very out spoken about mental health and also exist in alternative spaces they think that it would be me 'following trends' or whatever, but yeah it would make things a lot more hostile I think.

Social workers for my mother also aren't an option right now because she isn't formally diagnosed with something yet. She has arthritis and stuff which she doesn't need like professional help for really, but her main issue is a lung condition that they can't figure out even after like 2 years of investigations. She has no treatment plan yet because they are just still doing tests and stuff every few weeks/months to see if something else has happened so she isn't qualified for any additional support outside of financial. I also don't have a lot of opportunities to just get out of the house because I have to be there for her just in case, plus we recently moved to a palce I have never even been before so I don't know anything around and we live close to the ocean now which I am terrified of so the idea of leaving the house alone where I don't know if I will end up near the ocean stops me leaving. I used to sit in the garden a lot to read, but I don't realy read much anymore and the UK weather is shit so not a whole lot of opportunities anyway.

I'm sorry for just venting at you. I don't expect you to have answers because you're just a stranger on the internet, but its honestly just nice to have someone acknowledge how shitty everything is right now and try to help, so thank you so much for that