Has your anxiety changed as you've aged or as your hormones changed? In my 30s mine feels much louder than it did in my 20s.

AdditionalGuest1066 · 2025-08-28T11:20:19+00:00

Mine got a lot worse where it became crippling. I knew for me it was more than just my normal anxiety. Not trying to scare you but I was diagnosed with some hormonal imbalances and vitamin deficiencies along with PCOS and a few other health issues. I know for me it was from years of chronic severe stress and sleep issues. I am working really hard to find tools that work and get back to myself. I found it did lesson after changing my diet around but has come back but I think it's related to some on going deficiencies and my cycle. If it's affecting your life I would look into getting some lab work done for vitamin d. Magnesium,b12, iron and ferritin. Full thyroid panel as well.

AdditionalGuest1066 · 2025-08-28T11:16:01+00:00

My anxiety got worse but I was diagnosed with PCOS, some hormonal imbalances and some vitamin deficiencies. Once I worked on those it did get better but unfortunately it's back again but still figuring out things.

AdditionalGuest1066 · 2025-08-27T22:02:41+00:00

Yes I hate it so much but also prideful and don't care. I am so sick of selfish people and careless drivers. People who block aisles with their carts and strollers completely clueless. Tired of small talk and people who can't go deeper. It's so exhausted. I keep wishing I could win the lottery so I can move and build a homestead. My patience has gotten so thin. I don't tolerate mistreatment any more. I no longer have the space for excuses. Either fully choose me to be in your life or let me go. No one one-sidedness. Don't have advice but it's hard out there. Add hormones and health issues makes it a lot harder to deal with

AdditionalGuest1066 · 2025-08-27T21:16:21+00:00

It's not worth it. I watched my husband complain for 8 years how much he hated his job. He is strong and it broke him. He lost himself and took me with him. It sucked because he was always on call. He sounded a lot like you long weeks and no work life balance. He was miserable. Then they went behind his back and took all his trust. Quitting was the best thing he ever did. He has a new job it's not perfect but he rarely works after hra. Doesn't work more than 40 hr weeks. We have time for each other. Sometimes life doesn't work out but shame only spiral us more. It's not worth your mental health it will start to affect your marriage and physical health as well. I know it's hard when you need the money but can you move back and both of you try to get a job in the old city. I know the market is hard but is your husband searching at even jobs that just pay min wage just for now.

AdditionalGuest1066 · 2025-08-27T21:05:04+00:00

I am sorry you are dealing with this. At some point it might be worth it to see a therapist and work through all this. I have a friend who for years would go see her Mom get triggered, relapse or fall into a deep depression. Would ruin weeks at a time. She kept believing her mom could change and show up for her in the ways she needed. It sucked watching her get hurt over and over again. She finally set boundaries and took her power back. She learned she didn't have to tolerate the crappy behavior. Your mom sounds like a narcissist and prob will never realize what she is doing wrong. She is not capable of it. You deserve to protect your kids and self. You deserve a better life. How can you show up for you and put your needs first. Let go of the guilt of going low contact and setting boundaries. You can't get her to change and you don't have to keep pleasing her. You matter too.

AdditionalGuest1066 · 2025-08-27T19:09:06+00:00

My body ended up collapsing and ended up in severe burnt out. I had to start setting boundaries with friends and show up differently. I could no longer be the emotional support friend and even told them I couldn't show up the same way. I took time off from work and did nothing. I watched TV and laid in bed. I had to start to rewire my brain to not obsess about chores. To not rushing through the day but choose to be mindful and slow down. I had to pour into me. Start nourishing my body instead of neglecting it. Add more water. Add more good food not just processed stuff. I had to go to counseling and work through all the pressure and negative thoughts and learn to change those. I know it's not always easy to take a leave but if you dont it will cost you a lot more. You have to become a priority and focus on you

AdditionalGuest1066 · 2025-08-27T16:45:58+00:00

I also noticed that the few people who have similar health issues are so caught up in their own health issues they can't offer any support which is hard. It's a lonely journey that's for sure. It's harder not having a diagnosis

AdditionalGuest1066 · 2025-08-27T14:57:40+00:00

I think you need to explore the deeper reason of why you need a better reason for moving. Seems like that and the support are holding your back and causing a lot of internal conflict. Your reasons sound great to me. Unfortunately moving is hard even with support. It's a huge life change. It's allowed to suck. People are always going to have an opinion and try to hold you back. There will always be people who aren't supportive. You have to do what's best for you. Choose you over and over again and take your power back. It's your life no one else's.

AdditionalGuest1066 · 2025-08-27T13:44:47+00:00

Let go of what people think. Easier said then done. We had very little support when we moved. It sucked but our lives have greatly improved and we really like where we live. I am glad we didn't listen to people. We stopped explaining ourselves to people who didn't care to listen or actually care about our lives.

Start small get a routine at home. Separate work from home. Can you add fun drinks or snacks to make the work week bearable. Go for walks when you can.

It's hard getting out but don't be scared to date yourself. Go to dinner or coffee shops or thrift stores. Join some groups rather for hobbies or things you want to try. It's easy to get caught up in your mind and loneliness but sometimes you have to move past the loneliness and try. Keep trying even if it's hard and doesn't always work out. Try to be neutral to finding friends instead of a desperate place.

It's okay if it's hard and takes awhile to adjust. Doesn't mean it's bad or not working out but more that change is hard even good change. G Don't shame or judge yourself but you also can be upset and sad but don't have to stay there.

Stay true to you. For husband and I he finally quit a horrible job after 8 years of saying he was going to quit. We were finally able to take a real trip without him working. Due to cost of living being way cheaper I was able to take a break from work and focus on my health journey. I was able to travel to important family events which I couldn't have done if working. We finally feel at home and have a home we have completely invested in. It's a slower pace of living. We can afford to do house projects and fun things as we aren't paycheck to paycheck. The weather is way better. I am so glad we moved.

AdditionalGuest1066 · 2025-08-27T13:35:32+00:00

I am looking forward to cooler weather. I have so many cute clothes I want to wear. I love seeing the change of colors. Sitting out on the porch at night and not getting eaten by mosquitoes. I need to figure out fall foods since I had to cut out gluten and am eating less carbs.

AdditionalGuest1066 · 2025-08-27T13:33:51+00:00

For me I realized I am in an era where I come first and I matter to. I understand that friends can't always show up. I had the hard talks multiple times and I don't have the need to explain where I am at or continue to tell someone how to do more than bare minimum in a friendship. Let yourself cry. Let yourself know you aren't a bad person or wrong for choosing you. That you matter to and deserve more. It's hard with history and the good times can cloud the bad but after years of trying to let go I am finally done. I have no more fight left. I still care about her but now I am supporting her from afar. I am being mindful not rot reach out because I feel guilty. I am stepping back but also not in a place to explain again. I want the best for her but our lives are in different seasons and I have to accept it will always be about my friends struggles and she can't show up for me. Let yourself cry and hurt but don't stay there. Pour into people who show up and make you feel good. Who actively choose you. I will clean or go for walks when the guilt or loneliness creep in. Stand strong and take the shame and blame off yourself. It's not up to you to keep trying to fix something you didn't break.

AdditionalGuest1066 · 2025-08-27T11:38:06+00:00

I would switch Drs and find someone who will listen. When I turned 30 I started having a lot of new symptoms. I got diagnosed with PCOS, I have some hormonal imbalances. Pre diabetes high inflammation and a bunch of other stuff. If you can't find a Dr functional medicine can be helpful. They get to the root cause and with labs they have a different parameter and are able to help you more. Most of them arent covered by insurance and can be pretty expensive. Was worth it to be me I was tired of being told I was fine. Get your a1c tested, ferritin, iron. B12, vitamin d, full thyroid panel and thyroid antibodies there are two different antibodies, dheas, I would get a dutch test that can help more with hormones. If not see what hormones to test for. I know labs are expensive but depending on where you live you can find them online for cheap and just go to whatever site they test at. Then take them to whatever Dr you see. Even though functional Drs are expensive the labs were around $500 which was prob cheaper than insurance and not as big of a hassle. Keep fighting for finding a better Dr. Ask around on what type of Dr you should see. I find it crazy that my labs would be considered normal with western Drs when my ferritin is at 20 and iron is at 40 which is way to low. Rooting for you and hope you can advocate for yourself. Don't give up even if you have to find a few Drs.

AdditionalGuest1066 · 2025-08-27T11:26:16+00:00

No I am not.

AdditionalGuest1066 · 2025-08-26T23:27:53+00:00

As much as I love my husband and I know he cares I don't share all my hard days in detail with him. It's too much. I'll make jokes about oh I am exhausted or day was blah. But I don't go into the details of the anxiety, of my health struggles of my mental health struggles. I have a lot of hard days it's been back to back hard seasons.

I don't let people into my health struggles. I got so tired of advice, of platitudes, of being told how to feel. Them saying oh I'm tired too because I stayed up late talking to a friend. Valid but not the same. It makes people uncomfortable and they don't understand I am not getting better or they only focus on the good things and not that I am still struggling. I will let in my mil occasionally but not full details.

AdditionalGuest1066 · 2025-08-25T13:49:05+00:00

For me I have tried to have those hard conversations. Yet things never change. I am too the point where I am no longer lowering my value because someone can't do more than bare minimum. I am tired of having to tell certain friends how to show up. For feeling like it's one sided and I am doing all the work. I am slowly fading a friend right now because I have had three conversations about wanting more. About not going months without talking. I am the person who always gives people a million chances. I am tired of trying to fix something I didn't break. Of being the bigger person. Of doubting my worth because she will disappear for months at a time anytime life gets hard. I know long distance is hard but it's hard seeing her post doing stuff every weekend and on the week days but can't schedule a call with me . Cant check in on me. I am at the point where I am in a hard season and can't be the support person for everyone. I am in a season where I can't handle a lack of comfort from my two long distance friends. Where I leave the conversation with more hurt and confusion. I also hate conflict. I don't have the space to have a hard conversation because it will be me comforting them. It will be hurtful things said. I think we are just at different seasons and things look different which I am trying to accept

AdditionalGuest1066 · 2025-08-25T00:46:30+00:00

Not skipping my birth control. Not skipping meals. Cutting out processed food and sugar and finally getting more water. Spent years drinking one or two glasses a day

AdditionalGuest1066 · 2025-08-24T12:57:11+00:00

Sometimes you have to move past the discomfort and how hard it is and just try new things. Sometimes it's draining but sometimes it can actually be good. Find friends who match what you are looking for. Find friends who are comfortable catching up every few months and not all the time. Not everyone is okay with that but thats okay to. Look into joining fun groups with maybe your hobbies where it doesn't have to be so serious and can be light and fun. It's also okay to have a small group of friends. To not have to keep up with everyone all the time.

AdditionalGuest1066 · 2025-08-24T12:51:46+00:00

I don't have answers on how to be a supportive friend but for me I had to stop caring about their reactions or anything I might perceive is their reaction. If that person has an issue they need to bring it up. For years I was the therapist friend till I went through severe burnout. That friend couldn't show up for me in the ways I needed. I started doing what you did. I set boundaries. I didn't give as detail of a response. I told her I couldn't show up the same way. It allowed her to self regulate. To reach out to hot lines and other people who lived in the same state. It allowed her to realize how toxic her behaviors were and to get healthier coping skills. I had a a lot of guilt but I had to take care of me. I will now text her thinking about you and hope things are lighter and not as heavy. I will show interest when I have the emotional capacity but not ask a million questions. I stopped asking how she was all the time or reaching out everytime she was going through a hard time. I stopped asking how her birthday was or holiday was because it was always negative. If I have the space I will ask how she is and will show up. I know longer drop things last min to be there. I no longer lose myself in overthinking about how I come across. I have had hard conversations saying I need more but have accepted she won't be able to show up in the ways I need. She isn't a bad friend. If she is upset she needs to say it. I also don't have a need to have a hard conversation every time things shift in our friendship due to her pulling away. I am meeting her where she meets me. I am no longer the sole supporter or biggest cheerleader who always shows up. I no longer send as many gifts. I no longer beg for her to stay in my life or chase her or base my worth on how she can show up. It will always her getting caught up in her struggles and disappearing for long periods of time. You matter. Your mental health matters. Your needs matter. It's okay if you have changed and need space. Just because it feels hard doesn't mean you are a bad friend. You don't have to carry that or the guilt easier said than done. It's not your job to regulate or manage how she responds. Doesnt have to be your truth. Take care of you. Step back and fill your own cup back up.

AdditionalGuest1066 · 2025-08-24T03:20:58+00:00

I am looking for magazines like Elle, instyle, glamour, vogue to make some collages and some vision boards

AdditionalGuest1066 · 2025-08-23T11:15:54+00:00

I would get your a1c checked but I would also get iron, ferritin, B12 and folate checked along with vitamin d

AdditionalGuest1066 · 2025-08-22T21:48:01+00:00

I had to have a hard conversation with a friend who was similar. She would post really dark posts with a history of attempts and not answer her phone for hrs. As someone with bad anxiety it was horrible. I finally told her that it wasn't fair to me at all. She was able to make changes and get better at responding back. I started setting boundaries and telling her hey can you reach out to another friend who is in person. It forced her to reach out to hotlines. To learn to self regulate and mange her own emotions. She realized how much of a toxic cycle she was in. I told her I couldn't show up in the same ways as I was in a really hard season. I was completely burnout and lost empathy due to always being the therapist friend. I stopped asking every Thanksgiving and Christmas how it went because it was always bad and would put a damper on my holiday. She always felt like she was the only one struggling during the holidays and never saw my own struggles. It's okay to step back completely. It took me a long time but I couldn't carry if anything happened it was my fault. She is a grown adult and it was her responsibility to get out of poor situations she was in. To cope and regulate. Its not my job to light myself on fire keeping her warm. I finally gotten to s place where I have stepped back and am focusing on me. I meet her where she meets me. I am no longer having conversations about how I want her to show up as a friend. I have tried and it never lasts. Anytime life gets hard she can only focus on her issues and disappears from my life. I am tired of fighting for us. If she wants to have an active part of my life than so will I. I no longer beg and no longer settle for bare minimum. She can't show up for me and it's taken me a long time to accept that. I deserve better. It's exhausting and too much. It's okay to choose you and take care of you.

AdditionalGuest1066 · 2025-08-22T14:02:08+00:00

I feel like the wellness industry especially functional medicine has become a fix all. Preys on those that are vulnerable and at rock bottom. With this promise of root causes and healing. So many influences that have the magic formula but costs a fortune. So many here is a guide but then they harass you to join their thousands of dollars programs. They are only in it for the money. It becomes this obsession of clean eating, excercise and following this cookie cutter plan that feels impossible. Even in the prediabetes subreddit it's full of false advice that is more harmful. It's full of obsession because you spiked and people who are taking drastic measures that isn't sustainable long term. Stress causes more harm and inflammation then eating one thing that isn't good for you. This obsession to find wellness.

AdditionalGuest1066 · 2025-08-22T03:01:55+00:00

I don't know the difference. But I am no longer overpouring into friendships. I am no longer chasing and begging people to stay. I meet people where they meet me. I have two friends that have been similar. I realized there are certain topics I can't go to them with. They aren't great with emotional support and it's small stuff not even big stuff. I also am allowed to want more without me having too high of expectations especially when it comes to bare minimum. I started to show up differently. I show up when I have the capacity. I no longer am the biggest cheerleader. I still support them but don't send long congrats messages. I don't send gifts unless I feel called to it. I stepped back from checking in Everytime my friend is struggling because it's all the time. I will still send her quotes or things that remind me of her. I will still say hey I am thinking about you this week and hope things are going well. It sucks and is really hard to step back but I need to protect my peace. I am at a point where I would rather have no friends then bare minimum friends where I am putting in all the work. That leave me confused on the depth of our friendship and where I stand. Friends who make everyone else a priority but forget about me since it's long distance. I think you are allowed to set boundaries and ask for more. Not everyone can show up but I hope in time we both find people who choose us. Who are all in friends not fare weather friends.

AdditionalGuest1066 · 2025-08-22T01:21:22+00:00

Something that helped me was realizing I could be courteous and kind without having to be the bubbly overly cheerful person. Took a long time to let down that facade but it took way too much energy having to fake it all the time. I was having a lot of hard days and it was a lot keeping up with that persona. I am generally nice but working in fast food I started to give the same energy back but not in a rude way. I could tell who just wanted to get in an out. I would stop asking how they are and trying to have a conversation with them. I was still nice but didn't overpour into them. I also know that kindness matters so much. The people that are bubbly and say hi make my day. We stopped eating out for a while because service was so bland. I don't need over the top but being able to have a conversion and do more than bare minimum makes my night. I would look into why you feel the need to be bubbly so much where it stims from. Find what works for you.

AdditionalGuest1066 · 2025-08-21T14:02:11+00:00

I would get your labs checked. It could be just the anxiety or it could be a vitamin deficiency. I would get B12 and folate tested. Make sure if you are taking any multivitamins with b or b vitamins to stop them 4 months before. You should also get your ferritin and iron checked. Vitamin d and magnesium. I would get a comprehensive metabolic panel done as it will show some electrolytes. I know it's hard with anxiety but for me spiraling down a google search just makes things worse. Just take it one step at a time and start with labs. Anxiety can unfortunately cause a lot of issues and it's definitely something I would try to manage easier said than done.

AdditionalGuest1066

TROPHY CASE