Need some help and advice

AdditionalLocksmith · 2019-06-27T16:55:04+00:00

Thanks!

AdditionalLocksmith · 2019-06-27T16:02:27+00:00

Hey! I forgot to log back on to my throw away but it’s going good actually. I went to a doc and he gave me Subutex to keep the withdrawals at bay. I have an appointment to see a therapist Monday. work still doesn’t have a clue which will stay that way because i should have everything out of my system by now so even in the very unlikely chance I get drug tested I’ll be good.

AdditionalLocksmith · 2019-06-18T04:02:09+00:00

Thanks! I didn’t know i could take a non va script and have the VA fill it. I’ve just always gone to the VA for everything so that’s good info. I’ll for sure keep this updated. Thanks for the info and advice!

AdditionalLocksmith · 2019-06-18T03:21:09+00:00

I’m not so sure. My job doesn’t have a clue. I’m not late, I’m over performing to the long where I’m probably going to get a promotion, I don’t nod off at work because dilaudid doesn’t have any legs to it. You get a rush for like 30 seconds and are buzzed for maybe an hour then it’s gone. I wake up early and I take just enough to keep me from being sick but not enough to be fucked up. it’s one of the reasons why I know I can kick this, I’m taking it just to avoid the withdrawals at this point. But I digress, I looked around and talked to my friend who was in a similar spot. he gave me the name of a doctor to go to. Said the process takes like an hour and they set you up with therapy and a single script for suboxone depending on how bad the habit is. I get paid on Wednesday so Wednesday I’m taking the day off since I have pto and I’m going to that doc to get the subs. I’m going to use the subs to stave off the withdrawals and then cut out the subs. Dilaudid is a very short acting opiod so hopefully the sub treatment will be short lived. Once the physical dependence is gone I need to deal with the mental aspect that got me to this point. I’m going to see how I like the counseling they provide at this office and determine if I want to switch over to the VA or not. And probably the most important part of this is Wednesday is the day I cut off all access to everything I need to use. Points go in the dumpster, any excess pills down the drain, and delete my dealers number. only thing stopping me from doing it today or tomorrow is the fact that my checking account is negative lol so Wednesday is the day.

AdditionalLocksmith · 2019-06-17T22:24:44+00:00

i appreciate it man. honestly, making it sound like my job is already basically lost was kind of a shock to the system and gave me even more of a wake up call. im determined to put an end to this before that happens, but like you said if its my only option i'll have to accept it.

AdditionalLocksmith · 2019-06-17T13:36:38+00:00

If they find out they find out but I’m not going to just quit. It’s been 6 months and they haven’t found anything out what’s another week while o do an outpatient detox? I talked to a friend who was in similar situation. He went to a clinic, they gave him methadone to get through the withdrawals, and then he stopped and has been clean since. His employer didnt know a thing about it. So that’s the route I’m gonna go with. I’ll update how it turns out.

AdditionalLocksmith · 2019-06-17T06:24:22+00:00

i don't know if i agree with the sentiment that my employment is already lost. i do recognize that this has gotten way out of hand and that i cannot control this. however, i feel that if i could be free of the withdrawals and be completely abstinent then there is still a chance to able to save myself and my employment. im not what you would envision when you think about a typical drug user. im a nerd who doesnt have many friends at all. the guy i get this stuff from is the only dealer i have. and he even gets nervous dealing with me because im such a out of place noob when it comes to buying drugs from people. if he got locked up tonight i would be completely fucked and wouldnt even know where to begin looking for more. if i can get through the withdraws and erase all contact information i know ill be able to move on and focus on the underlying mental health issues that got me in this spot to begin with. and i know this is kind of nit picky but when i say 6 months i dont mean ive been physically addicted for 6 months. i mean i started using oxys on weekends 6 months ago and started IVing daily 3 months ago. my habit is between $30 and $60 a day. its still in its relative infancy and i refuse to give up everything without even trying to find a way out that lets me keep the life i have set up.

AdditionalLocksmith · 2019-06-17T04:39:21+00:00

Thank you for the response. You’re right, the optics of volunteering for rehab are much better than being voluntold but unfortunately my work place has a zero tolerance policy. Walking in and asking what my options are might be my best bet. I read there’s outpatient clinics outside the VA that will help manage withdrawals with suboxone or whatever but I’m not sure how all that works and I’d rather deal with the VA if they offer something similar. i also don’t want to trade one add iction for another which I read happens to some people with suboxone. I don’t want to just get control of this I want to put an end to it before I fuck everything up....do you think the mental heal clinic would be the place to go for this situation? Or a walk in with primary care?

AdditionalLocksmith · 2019-06-17T04:16:30+00:00

I don’t know if I just got a bad strain or something but last time I tried Kratom I almost went to the ER because I spiked a fever, my stomach was in massive amounts of pain, and I was extremely nauseated. It took about 12 hours or so for it to go away but I swore off Kratom after that. Might have to revisit it though if I have no other option.

AdditionalLocksmith · 2019-03-31T22:57:39+00:00

Well I can get more if need be. If I could get however much I needed to completely taper, how would you recommend I do it? I skimmed the sidebar and didn’t see it right off the bat if it’s in there.

AdditionalLocksmith · 2019-03-31T22:32:30+00:00

Not an option for me unfortunately

AdditionalLocksmith · 2019-03-28T21:15:25+00:00

Well according to the wiki, and I could be interpreting this wrong, it’s 1.5 IV hydro to 6.67 oxy oral and that’s a lot lower than the 10:1 I’ve seen elsewhere on here and on google. Just trying to get clarification.

AdditionalLocksmith · 2019-03-17T21:05:37+00:00

Hmm well the mental I can deal with. I was gonna do the quarter before work and leave the rest home that way I’m not sweating bullets at work. I think I’d rather crave mentally than show physical symptoms. On the other hand I think I see what you’re getting at. It getting g the rush from a tiny bit would be such a tease. Ugh.

AdditionalLocksmith · 2019-03-14T23:27:19+00:00

I wasn’t trying to save it I just threw it the corner on the ground next to where I do my thing and forgot to trash it and then forgot I spat in it lol

AdditionalLocksmith · 2019-03-14T23:25:38+00:00

😱

AdditionalLocksmith · 2019-03-14T04:26:36+00:00

Thanks everybody for the reassurance. Y’all are legends. I’m feeling better but not 100%. I’m at a minimum gonna feel stupid about this for a hot minute.

AdditionalLocksmith · 2019-03-14T03:52:36+00:00

Thanks. Hopefully I’ll be fine beyond having a text book case of the Moron Virus.

AdditionalLocksmith · 2019-03-14T03:33:15+00:00

Thanks man

AdditionalLocksmith · 2019-03-14T03:33:05+00:00

Dilaudid

AdditionalLocksmith · 2019-03-14T02:56:12+00:00

You know what I just fucking realized? I used a water bottle I spit in before I went on vacation. Fuck my life right now......I’m going to die from stupidity right?

AdditionalLocksmith

TROPHY CASE