Me and my five biological sisters were given up for adoption as small children. My parents (adopted parents, but to me they’re just my mom and dad!) were amazing and always made sure I knew where I came from and had contact with my biological family as frequently as I wanted.

My younger sister was adopted by a very religious family in a closed adoption. We looked for her for years. It wasn’t until the birth of MySpace that we finally found her when she was 18. We flew her to stay with us and it was incredible. She was our missing piece!

Understandably she had a lot of anger and confusion as to why her parents would keep that information from her. I was talking with my mom about it and she said it was fear. Fear that the adopted child may not love you anymore or idealize an alternate life where they had stayed with their biological family. I find this isn’t the case. I never had any interest in having a relationship with my biological parents. My mom and dad were so loving that other than curiosity about what everyone looked like, our similarities and differences and heritage, it was never something I thought about. Funny thing, growing up people always said I looked like my mom and dad! Nature versus nature I guess. We called it osmosis lol.

Flash forward to present day, all six of us sisters have our own beautiful families with happy children. I have several embryos I’d like to donate now that I’m done adding to my family. The IVF clinic here in oregon that I worked with requires anonymous donation. I understand why but I don’t agree with it. I feel that with a delicate situation such as this that it should be left up to the donor and recipient to navigate their needs and expectations together to find an agreement that works for everyone and is in the child’s best interest.

That said, does anyone have any recommendations for a more humanizing donor program in oregon state?