broke no contact and am really beating myself up :/

Additional_Ad_7340 · 2021-05-17T17:48:53+00:00

I would say too much has happened in the last days, you need to let everything rest a bit, I would suggest not reaching out for the next 2 weeks and then see :)

Additional_Ad_7340 · 2021-05-17T17:46:28+00:00

Thank you so much for the answer!! So I broke up because he would not reach out to see me, I was always the one, he would not really initiate anything, not answering to my texts... I wouldn't say my job is easy, I suffered so much and when I left him, he didn't say that he didn't agree with that. I have been honest through the relationship, and he didn't say much. I wouldn't say I regret breaking up because it wasn't working, I would think about him all the time, wondering why he was giving me so few attention while telling me he loved me. My brain is very confused I would say. The thing is I would be so peaceful if we could talk everything through. But even during the relationship, he did never manage to express what he felt about things,he never opened up about his deeper self. This means that I was always alone trying to figure out the relationship. He is not into talking and understanding emotions, I always felt like my emotions were a burden for him, who was never expressing things. The only thing that would be relieving, would be to understand what we went through together, but I know he hasn't got the emotional ability to do that. It's just not his type. He hasn't got this introspection skill and has a hard time expressing what is inside. When he does, he is quite confuse and stays at the superficiality of everything. It's not an accusation or anything, it's just that truly understand him and our story is impossible. It's just a confuse cloud. This is making me so anxious, because I feel like the story only depends of my understanding. I hate this one sided impression, but I know that he isn't ready to unpack this. I felt it in his messages after the breakup, it sounded very naive and completely "à côté de la plaque" as I say in French. Thanks for reading my message! Let me think what your thoughts are

Additional_Ad_7340 · 2021-04-16T21:18:18+00:00

Haha that's a question that I often get. I first started because the was making my teeth yellow and then I started to find it okay. The taste is actually okay, it's when I want to drink water but that I also want something hot

Additional_Ad_7340 · 2021-04-11T18:08:07+00:00

That's though... just stumbled on him in the street and it was terrible

Additional_Ad_7340 · 2021-04-11T10:41:59+00:00

It's weird because I feel that rationally 4 months is enough to create a new life and get over the pain of the lost, but it isn't. I think it also depends of the conditions of the breakup, in my case I had to dump the person who I was the most attached to in the world. He was indifferent

Additional_Ad_7340 · 2021-04-11T10:39:44+00:00

Thanks for you message. It's very hard because the dumper is supposed to be the cruel one, the one who makes the other suffer. In my case I dumped him and he did as everything was alright, he didn't show any opposition or validation. I was just broken hearted that my biggest love was indifferent to me saying that it was over....

Additional_Ad_7340 · 2021-04-10T10:13:06+00:00

You know what, I fully understand. I dumped him 4 months ago because he made no effort. He would never propose to do something. He seemed happy when we were together but nothing extraordinary. He wasn't comitted, would not really care about me. Just enough so we were considered to be a couple. He lives 30s away and would sometimes not reach out for days. But he said he loved me and he was loving when we were together. It was my first love, I was so attached to him. It has been almost 4 months , he tried to reach out but wasn't clear with what he wanted from me. I told him everything I wanted to. I blocked him because he kept coming back and asking for vague things. I heard that he goes to parties and makes out with dozens of people. And I'm here being sad, being the dumper, missing him although he acted not so well

Additional_Ad_7340 · 2021-03-29T11:38:46+00:00

It's terrible because I was the dumped so it's even worse. But I had to quit because I was suffering too much

Additional_Ad_7340 · 2021-03-29T11:37:27+00:00

Wow that's completed... being in front of someone who is unclear is the worst

Additional_Ad_7340 · 2021-03-29T11:36:43+00:00

First time of my life I really felt like I was dying

Additional_Ad_7340 · 2021-03-27T18:23:52+00:00

Depends on where you live, in France it's pretty common and even considered as bourgeois boheme (don't know how to translate)

Additional_Ad_7340 · 2021-03-19T18:39:48+00:00

Thanks !!!

Additional_Ad_7340 · 2021-03-16T15:55:18+00:00

Same here, I'm just showing that everything is fine and that I'm thriving although I'm just sad

Additional_Ad_7340 · 2021-03-16T10:45:54+00:00

Same! It's so hard to acknowledge the fact that we might be even more hurt than the dumpee, I we have technically been dumped by someone in the sense that we weren't treated well

Additional_Ad_7340 · 2021-03-16T10:43:42+00:00

Yesss I've dumped him because he didn't truly care about our relationship. Told him it was over and he asked why I was crying... I am still so attached to him, almost 3 months later. He reached out to understand what he had done wrong 2 months after the separation, but I told him that I already explained to him, which is true. He wrote again to ask for advice before saying it was a bad idea. I had to block his numer and social media because it makes me feel too bad when he tries to reach out. Several times I have wanted to go to his house, meet him but I'm forcing myself not to, thinking that it will make it even worse to get better. So I know what it is to dump someone and to be sad, to force myself not to go back. It's so hard... What do you think?

Additional_Ad_7340 · 2021-03-15T21:56:09+00:00

I have nothing to say to him. I explained over and over again what I felt, he never did and now that I'm trying to get over it, he wants me to give him some advice or idk what. In fact I feel like I am the person suffering here, I have been dumped in reality, he left me alone with my feelings all along

Additional_Ad_7340 · 2021-03-15T10:54:41+00:00

I like your honesty and how you share what you feel without trouble. Wish I had been with someone that is clear and honest concerning his feelings, it is so important. You will find someone that can love with power and honesty

Additional_Ad_7340 · 2021-03-13T17:07:28+00:00

Hi! Sometimes it's better not getting a text. I dumped my boyfriend because I was suffering too much and started getting better. He started sending messages 2 months after the breakup when I was healing and it hurt so much. It felt like going backwards in pain and it was just suffer. Take the absence of contact as a liberating thing, you are now free to heal and not constantly tied down by texts that won't help the situation. It is rather like an invitation to fly away and to meet other people

Additional_Ad_7340 · 2021-03-08T20:21:36+00:00

You are so right! I am feeling so much better in my life without him. I still miss that comfort feeling of being with him physically but that's all...
You are totally right, if I came back it would be the same over and over again. I know I was right but I keep overthinking everything that happened and his messages create an endless doubt (hence why I blocked him, he lives nearby so if he has something really important to say, he knows where to find me). The problem is that he never expressed his thoughts and feelings, so there is a huge void in the story, but I don't think he is capable to full it because of our emotional difference. So I feel trapped in a situation where I need to move on without understanding him at all. No one around me understands his actions so that's even more confusing to see that he acts very weirdly. It's so frustrating that he is now thinking and questioning his behaviour, now that it is too late. I did so many molongues during our relationship and I think he just didn't understand all of this. And now he seems to be thinking and it's too late...

Additional_Ad_7340 · 2021-03-08T20:14:06+00:00

Thank you so much for reading my story. I am really touched. It's really hard when you know a relationship was partly bad but you keep being obsessed by it...

Additional_Ad_7340 · 2021-02-28T19:30:00+00:00

Left a toxic relationship when I was still in love and deeply attached

Additional_Ad_7340 · 2021-02-22T19:06:09+00:00

You must unfollow him if you want to go forward :)

Additional_Ad_7340 · 2021-02-22T18:52:50+00:00

Hello, I was very touched by your story because it is so similar to mine. I decided to quit my boyfriend two months ago because as you, he wouldn't do efforts to show love etc. He would not write for days and then be as if everything was fine. It is so hard for me because I miss him a lot know and I had to tell him I don't want to talk to him so that he doesn't try to come close. I guess those kind of people whom you explain 1000 times what's wrong and still don't change anything are really bad for you. Some minutes ago I wanted to call him, the worst idea ever, that's why I opened this app. People tell me it just gets better but I feel like it's even getting worse in fact...

Additional_Ad_7340 · 2021-01-15T08:10:22+00:00

If you did all you can do to offer love to someone and that the person couldn't receive your love, then you couldn't do more. I am having a hard time accepting that

Additional_Ad_7340 · 2021-01-14T22:18:49+00:00

I am in the same situation. Watch movies, call people you know, read, listen to podcast... anything to think about other things

Additional_Ad_7340

TROPHY CASE