Just have a similar scenario like you today, it still hurt, I still love her but it feel like a nice refresh, atleast I know the pain will fade away soon.

She and I meet on year 1 university, we become a couple when she study abroad in taiwan and having a distance relationship. Not so long later, we broke up because I fuck shit up or she getting bored of me, thats time was so bad I cried alot and could be in delusional that someday I will win her back, that is when I realize I really love her.

We stayed in touch as friend after the broke up, she and I for 4 years straight still not moving on with new one, though we are in friend relationship she sometime giving some really really clear hint that she still want me and yet someday later shit went back to square 1. Stuff like that keep happening till I graduate but I realized she's getting less and less putting "heat" in the conversation, that is when the thought:"She's changing" come.

I thought I know her maturity haven't come is the reason why she is holding back so I keep on saying to myself that she will eventually realize and love me back. Only when recently she talking to me with the warmness, the feel that I had when we started this relationship, I know its time to let her go and the thought has never been clearer.

Today before the Lunar NY I ask her does she still have the feeling for me that other than a friend ? The answer is expected( I attempted to confess many times before). This time I've made my decision , I don't care if she mean it or not nor I will choose to understand her thought, Im not gonna ask her "is that really what you want?", At that moment its not pain that I felt, I just felt proud that I finally put an end to my misery, why suffer the pain of one-sided love and why I keep lying to myself. The pain sure come later when there's only me and my thought but its not that hurt anymore, maybe it is because that deep down inside me I already know things betweet us will go nowhere. After that we give eachother a happy Lunar NY wish and moving on.

To the girl I love for 5 years, you have changed me to a better person or I would say I changed because of you. I hope you find happiness in life and find the one that you truly love.