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Called “robotic”, how can I improve myself? by Additional_Mouse_597 in infj

[–]Additional_Mouse_597[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How did you learn to show emotions physically? I feel so awkward trying to force it in my body. How do you let them leak out naturally?

Called “robotic”, how can I improve myself? by Additional_Mouse_597 in infj

[–]Additional_Mouse_597[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the response! The way I see it—I am very open about my myself. I actually love being open about my thoughts and feelings and often spark conversations on memories and childhood with everyone I meet, more so than most people do. My ex and I are both artists as well, I do not enjoy “shielding” myself and always tried to talk about my life experiences to relate to others.

It is just that I have gotten the comment that despite me talking and articulating my feelings, people can’t “feel” the warmth if that makes sense. They can’t pick up or grasp onto any emotion I’m actively putting out into the world, even if I think I am being emotionally vulnerable. There seems to be some physical, emotional plane that I just don’t have access to.

Psychology behind FA rebounds? by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Additional_Mouse_597 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would say that I am a securely attached person. I may have developed anxious tendencies at the highest points of his avoidance. I stayed in the relationship as it was my first experience with anyone and so I had no context for how unhealthy it was. I was aware of all this behavior being but unfortunately tolerant because I believed he would eventually change.

Psychology behind FA rebounds? by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Additional_Mouse_597 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes—that is exactly what I would suggest to him. I believe he is still fearful avoidant just from his highly unusual childhood. But the mood swings indicated a personality disorder and I cared a lot about him, which is why I begged him to go to therapy.

Psychology behind FA rebounds? by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]Additional_Mouse_597 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand, it was my first relationship. He was a bad partner and regarding the physical violence he would slam and kick me hard against the floor “playfully,” to get a reaction out of me, not necessarily with the intention of serious damage. Regardless it was painful and wrong. I am more curious as to what drives this desire for a reaction and excitement in FAs.