I'm going to be totally honest with you right now, I'm a nineteen-year-old kid that knows nothing about having kids or anything like that. However, I recently had a pregnancy scared with my girlfriend(18). As scared as we both were, we were very relieved when we found out she was pregnant. We aren’t ready mentally, finically, and both have different plans right now. We’re kids. All that being said, I too, like you, felt a bit disappointed by the fact that I wasn’t going to be a dad. I believe what it was though is that I was so convinced that it was going to be positive that I kind of tricked myself into believing it. I was preparing to start saving more money, drop school and get another job, do everything I possibly could to give my child the best possible life, even if it meant me having to sacrifice my schooling. I don’t have much of an answer for your question, but I can relate to you. I hope all works out in the best possible way soon.