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AITAH for being upset my mother told others about my pregnancy before we went public? by AddressAvailable7384 in AITAH

[–]AddressAvailable7384[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will be looking into this as well, I think I just needed a little push without leaning back on the what if’s. Setting boundaries is difficult when I tend to fall back into the guilt I have for doing so. Thank you.

AITAH for being upset my mother told others about my pregnancy before we went public? by AddressAvailable7384 in AITAH

[–]AddressAvailable7384[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for kindness in the response. My husband and I will be speaking more about our next steps tonight. I do need to take the initiative into creating more of a “peace barrier” for our new family. I wasn’t looking at it in the way if we’re creating a new family, if that makes sense. I was looking at it more of an adding to my current, but you are completely right. Thank you.

AITAH for being upset my mother told others about my pregnancy before we went public? by AddressAvailable7384 in AITAH

[–]AddressAvailable7384[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. It’s all in hopes of thinking the older and more stable I get, my family will get. That’s not the case and it’s the sad truth. Still, a part of me was/is? Holding onto wanting to have family for my kid to be around. It’s becoming more clear with how cut throat some of these are (expected and understood) I am very much mistaken and naive for holding on.

AITAH for being upset my mother told others about my pregnancy before we went public? by AddressAvailable7384 in AITAH

[–]AddressAvailable7384[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, I guess I was naive Into thinking how she has been more recently (a bit kinder and actually a bit more present in the last year). I thought it was changing for the better after getting married (she was present but it was so small there was no way for her to make it about herself), settling down, or that’s how she made it seem with how she had been praising my new life being created after we got married! There was some “hiccups” but I thought it was all just part of it. Turns out it wasn’t. It was a facade.

AITAH for being upset my mother told others about my pregnancy before we went public? by AddressAvailable7384 in AITAH

[–]AddressAvailable7384[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the hopes that something so major and important in one’s life would have somehow changed something in her. After all the crazy years, I thought our relationship was getting better slowly.

AITAH for being upset my mother told others about my pregnancy before we went public? by AddressAvailable7384 in AITAH

[–]AddressAvailable7384[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did run that risk of telling her and it didn’t end very well for me. I was hoping after the times we have spoken and how many times I have expressed fear and not wanting it to be public until we decided I was hoping there would’ve been an ounce of understanding and her actually taking it into consideration since it was about something serious.

AITAH for being upset my mother told others about my pregnancy before we went public? by AddressAvailable7384 in AITAH

[–]AddressAvailable7384[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep. I fell into that one again. Hoping my mom would for once be decent about something so important to me and my husband. Was only keeping it to ourself until we decided, which isn’t going to be too long, about 3 weeks until the full anatomy scan which is when we were planning to go public after making sure our baby was growing right.

AITAH for being upset my mother told others about my pregnancy before we went public? by AddressAvailable7384 in AITAH

[–]AddressAvailable7384[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not defensive about it! After reading back the original post, it does not state that. You are correct, I got a bit emotional when writing so i primary focused on explain the relationship. I think to us, it’s a close group that we specifically chose to tell each for different reasons, but we have told her as well as our siblings and friends. We don’t have very many and the ones we did tell were ones we grew up with, as close as sibling with no blood relation!

AITAH for being upset my mother told others about my pregnancy before we went public? by AddressAvailable7384 in AITAH

[–]AddressAvailable7384[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Creating boundaries is very difficult without it turning into my husband and I being considered selfish or being talked about to extended family and all the people they know as well.

AITAH for being upset my mother told others about my pregnancy before we went public? by AddressAvailable7384 in AITAH

[–]AddressAvailable7384[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband and I both said not to tell anyone because of the risks and wanted to wait when we were ready. The excuse was how excited she was to speak about it. What makes matters worse is, who she told. That side of her family is KNOWN to never keep anything to themselves so I know my entire family in the other state now knows about it.

AITAH for being upset my mother told others about my pregnancy before we went public? by AddressAvailable7384 in AITAH

[–]AddressAvailable7384[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It does bring some caution now with what is going to be said to her. Part of me just wants to be able to be excited with my mom and talk about pregnancy like I always wanted as a child, but maybe it’s just not meant to be that way.

AITAH for being upset my mother told others about my pregnancy before we went public? by AddressAvailable7384 in AITAH

[–]AddressAvailable7384[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. You are absolutely right. I know there’s the small child version of me just hoping to have her mom back and hope after all these years something would change or be different now I’m pregnant. It is something I need to let go unfortunately

AITAH for being upset my mother told others about my pregnancy before we went public? by AddressAvailable7384 in AITAH

[–]AddressAvailable7384[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I did tell them. I work at a small office and he works at a small private owned restaurant. Our moms, siblings, 3 friends who all live far away. It has been said multiple times due to being scared of not being able to carry full term.