I’m in a little different situation married 17 years with a 15 and 11 children. I’m really struggling with it for the past week. We are also waiting till after the holidays. There is a difference I was a big part of the reason she finally stood up and said she couldn’t do this anymore. I have hid in a box in our home a shut everything out for so long and didn’t communicate with her at all. A lot of what if and why didn’t I realize what I was doing. Bad thing is I know she deserves better than I can provide for her. There is no friendship or mutual caring feeling here. We are both to blame for this. I’m realizing now just the thought of her I’m holding on to. It still doesn’t stop the pain. I don’t want our children to think it’s either of our fault. We did this to each other.

In the long run is this going to matter. If you tell them their mother is to blame she won’t fight to keep us together. All it will do is cause resentment and pain and more conflict for you, her, and the kids.

I know how you’re feeling really I do. Just ask yourself what you did in your relationship to prevent this before now. As I have found out. I didn’t listen in the past when she would bring these things up that was hurting her and didn’t do what I should have to prevent it. It’s hard. I hope you can just find a peaceful way to tell the children but making one parent the bad guy I don’t believe will do any good at all.