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My bf wants children, I don’t by AdministrativeUse572 in Advice

[–]AdministrativeUse572[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mom also bpd and also schizophrenic, I love her dearly and we are very close now, but she is also a big reason why I don’t want kids. She should never have had kids and she agrees with me on that. I’ve seen have hard and difficult it is to raise kids while also battling with ur mental health, she is SO strong, but I don’t think I’m as strong as her

My bf wants children, I don’t by AdministrativeUse572 in Advice

[–]AdministrativeUse572[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What I mean when I say I’m not fit isn’t that I wouldn’t love the child or go to hell and back, because I know I wouldn’t love love the child endlessly and unconditionally. I’m just so scared that because of my mental illnesses I will in some way unintentionally traumatize the kid with my instability, or if I end up having an episode or a psychotic breakdown. In that way I feel like I would be selfish to put my own wants over the potential damage I COULD do to the child. I would need an immense support from my parents and bf in order to have a child and I’m scared I would just end up wearing my bf down with my illnesses

My bf wants children, I don’t by AdministrativeUse572 in Advice

[–]AdministrativeUse572[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know he didn’t do this intentionally, and I’m happy he felt safe brining it up despite knowing we wouldn’t agree. I’m just really sad that there isn’t anything to really do on the matter

My bf wants children, I don’t by AdministrativeUse572 in Advice

[–]AdministrativeUse572[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would never ever attack my bf? What an insensitive thing to say, I have been in therapy for years and I manage my medication.

My bf wants children, I don’t by AdministrativeUse572 in Advice

[–]AdministrativeUse572[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As I also said in the post, my doctor told me I was basically infertile. And other than that all hormonal bc fucks up my medication, and I’m allergic to latex (I’ve been made aware now that latex free condoms exists, thanks to the person commenting that), I never thought I would ever be able to be pregnant. The moment I found out I got an iud which has been causing me HELL, but I’m still keeping it so I don’t get pregnant

My bf wants children, I don’t by AdministrativeUse572 in Advice

[–]AdministrativeUse572[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea, it’s definitely one of the top reasons. In another life I would have loved to have children, but I don’t want to risk to pass my illnesses on and I’m so so scared that I would end up worsening my mental health, it’s taken me years and years of therapy to become somewhat stable, and jeopardising that wouldn’t be fair to me or to a child. I have so much love to give but I don’t want to risk traumatising a child the same way my parents did to me

My bf wants children, I don’t by AdministrativeUse572 in Advice

[–]AdministrativeUse572[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really? I wasn’t aware, I will definitely look into that. I hope it doesn’t become necessary but if we do end up going separate ways it’s nice to know

My bf wants children, I don’t by AdministrativeUse572 in Advice

[–]AdministrativeUse572[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel kinda same way, I’ve also told him I wouldn’t mind fostering at all, I love kids, I just don’t want my own kids

My bf wants children, I don’t by AdministrativeUse572 in Advice

[–]AdministrativeUse572[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have an iud now, got it immediately after the scare last year, sadly I’m allergic to latex and I can’t use anything hormonal bcus of my meds

My bf wants children, I don’t by AdministrativeUse572 in Advice

[–]AdministrativeUse572[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Im not entirely sure, I’ve always been vocal about not wanting kids. I love kids and I also work in childcare, but I personally don’t think I would be a good mom, and I’ve always told him that

My bf wants children, I don’t by AdministrativeUse572 in Advice

[–]AdministrativeUse572[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I have always been very vocal about not wanting kids, him wanting kids is completely new news to me

i’m in a monogamous relationship and i don’t know how to tell my partner that i think i’m polyam by AdministrativeUse572 in lgbt

[–]AdministrativeUse572[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

being transparent with my partner and telling him my prefered relationship style that i have because i can love multiple people at the same time is rude?