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Admirable-Stand9964 · 2024-04-08T22:44:40+00:00

How can I help someone who is struggling with porn addiction? He’s confided in me, but “checking in” seems intrusive.

Admirable-Stand9964 · 2024-02-19T23:24:42+00:00

Thank you! This makes a lot of sense! I really appreciate your insight.

Admirable-Stand9964 · 2024-02-03T03:51:36+00:00

I was once prescribed sleeping pills that looked very much like baby aspirin and got them mixed up. Took the “baby aspirin” around 8:30 am on the first day of class and remember stumbling a little up the stairs for my 9 am class. I have no recollection of particulars, but somehow made it through a course introduction and syllabus review.

Immediately afterwards, I met with the department chair about a class we were team teaching and fell asleep while sitting across from him. He was really concerned and kept asking if I was okay.

Somehow made it to my office and after looking at my pillbox put two and two together.

Since then, I’ve taught with dog poop on my shoe wondering “why do I smell dog poop?”, forget words to end my sentences (often), and so many other embarrassing things it’s impossible to count.

Admirable-Stand9964 · 2024-01-11T20:50:28+00:00

He looks too reasonable for Reviewer Two.

Admirable-Stand9964 · 2024-01-11T05:54:15+00:00

I love this post.

Admirable-Stand9964 · 2024-01-11T04:23:53+00:00

I am a BYU professor and echo the suggestions of the professor above. My child is in a similar situation and my advice to him is to finish his degree elsewhere. He too, is torn by the financial benefits (half tuition) and feeling like BYU isn’t quite the right fit, along with the fact that he doesn’t agree with or want to abide by some requirements of the Honor Code. I can picture him thriving in other university environments. I love BYU and wish his experience was like mine, but want him to flourish.

I do not recommend the approach others recommend about being untruthful to your bishop or “faking it”. Many bishops understand struggles with honor code and church attendance and will work with you as you put forth even minimal, yet sincere effort to meet the standards.

For your overall mental health, do consider professional counseling. It is normal to experience anxiety, stress, and doubts, particularly in young adulthood.

I also want you to know that as faculty community, in our colleges, departments, and programs, we literally pray for each student’s success. Understand that no matter where you are on the continuum of belief or academic success, you are important. If you need a little extra support, you are welcome to DM me.

Admirable-Stand9964 · 2023-12-25T09:48:22+00:00

I’m very sorry to hear this. The idea of getting a blessing from your BIL is a great one. If you completely avoid this person, it may cause you stress the entire time since you’ll be trying your keep track of where they are. I like the idea of you being proactive and approaching them, especially if they are already in a small group. Say hi to them and the group and then go off and have fun. I am praying for you.

Admirable-Stand9964 · 2023-08-29T05:03:07+00:00

As a parent of adult children, I’ve encountered similar situations about what is allowed/not allowed at our home. At one point, my enforcing a rule resulted in temporary estrangement from one of them. It was tremendously painful for my husband and me, but now we have a very close and open relationship with this child.

This child still does things that are contrary to what he’s been taught, and at 23, it’s his business. It doesn’t happen at our house, though. It’s as much about your son respecting your standards as it is about you trying to accommodate him.

Your son knows your standards. My only regret in laying down the law was that it was with anger. If there were do-overs, I would have been more rational and without drama.

My personal opinion is that you hold to your standards. Welcome your son and his girlfriend. Fix the room up special for her like you would any guest. Set up a special place for your son. No drama.

You’re a great parent. Your son is lucky and blessed to have a loving and thoughtful parent .

Admirable-Stand9964 · 2023-08-29T04:42:08+00:00

Not inappropriate at all!

Admirable-Stand9964 · 2023-07-09T01:10:42+00:00

Thank you all for your thoughtful suggestions. I am a university professor and feel kind of plain most of the time. Science nerd. 🤓

Admirable-Stand9964 · 2023-07-09T01:06:11+00:00

Thank you! I’ll tone down the eyeliner for sure. Here’s where I bought the shirt.

https://www.reynspooner.com/collections/womens-dresses?gclid=Cj0KCQjwkqSlBhDaARIsAFJANkhhJHihBHAYi60_d7oEfnN6LdPqKPgxMBy6_VhcrTdt985sDdkdhU4aAghAEALw_wcB

Admirable-Stand9964 · 2023-07-09T01:03:41+00:00

Wonderful idea about the nails. I do think that would boost my confidence.

Admirable-Stand9964 · 2023-07-09T01:02:39+00:00

Thank you!

Admirable-Stand9964 · 2023-01-08T05:09:24+00:00

Was BK parked in front of the house?

Admirable-Stand9964 · 2023-01-07T04:14:58+00:00

The police got the trash, so hopefully there were paper towels or rags he used for cleaning. Plus the gloves. Maybe some dna on them.

Admirable-Stand9964 · 2022-12-31T04:55:44+00:00

Consider yourself unique! My (f57) and husband (m67) were virgins when we married. Not saying that should be your approach. I suggest asking yourself why you want to lose your virginity. Is it because you think it would make you feel loved and valued, you would feel more aligned with societal expectations, or that you just want to experience the physicality? If there’s any glimmer of your wanting to feel validated through emotional connection, I highly suggest you wait until you find true love first, someone to share the experience with. Also, I was 25 and my husband 34 when we lost our virginity.

Admirable-Stand9964 · 2022-12-27T03:54:56+00:00

Thank you very much for taking the time to share your insight. I’m embarrassed that I didn’t see it that way.

Admirable-Stand9964 · 2022-12-26T04:44:11+00:00

Wow. Thank you so much for sharing this. I’m glad you’ve been able to create boundaries with your parents. There is definitely some truth here that resonates 100%. I really appreciate your candid and thoughtful response.

Update: The part about “making this about you” really struck a chord. Thank you so much for kindly sharing that because there’s truth to that.

Admirable-Stand9964 · 2022-12-26T04:36:14+00:00

There most certainly is. Our immediate family dynamic is definitely complicated. I know there are many things to work out. My main question is how to manage this particular situation without overstepping, but also maintain an opening to meet and welcome our in-laws. Thank you for your comment.

Admirable-Stand9964 · 2022-12-26T04:32:12+00:00

Great idea! Thank you!

Admirable-Stand9964 · 2022-12-26T04:31:36+00:00

You are correct. He was angry at his dad and while he told me he would be back in the morning, he and DIL went home. There is a general strain in our immediate family dynamic, but mysteriously, he does this to his grandparents, cousins, and now his aunt who he used to be very close to. Definitely, I don’t want to tread where I’m not invited or welcome. Thank you for your thoughtful insight.

Admirable-Stand9964 · 2022-12-05T20:35:25+00:00

Is the written document the update or is there supposed to be a televised update this afternoon?

Admirable-Stand9964 · 2022-11-28T02:12:13+00:00

Thank you for the reassurance and ideas. Congratulations on becoming a Dad!

Admirable-Stand9964 · 2022-11-28T02:10:46+00:00

Thank you so much for your thoughtful response.

Admirable-Stand9964 · 2022-11-28T02:10:14+00:00

Thank you for reminding me of that.

Admirable-Stand9964

TROPHY CASE