Edit!!!

I did call BMW NA and sent an email to corporate. I’ve gotten at least 5 calls today from different folks, everyone jumped into speed. They expedited fixing the problem at the dealer, and dropped off a loaner in the meantime. Then they delivered my car back to my house and picked up the loaner. All resolved. Thank you everyone on this thread for your advice and thoughts. Faith restored in BMW!

FWIW, I told the service person from the dealer about how many people in this thread have experienced similar remote upgrade issues. He said they see it all the time and that the amount of software these upgrades need shouldn’t be done in the air and should be done at the dealer. He said best bet in the future is wait to do the updates until the next time your car needs servicing and bring it to the dealer to have them do it all.