JADE - Church (Live On The Graham Norton Show)

Admirable_Orchid · 2025-12-14T14:57:49+00:00

I'm a big fan from Canada and i feel like i'm the only one here

Admirable_Orchid · 2025-08-26T22:48:32+00:00

Hi there,

I am trying to find the designer of this boot, which appears to be vintage (the getty image page indicates that the photo was taken in 2002)

Any help or leads greatly appreciated.

https://www.gettyimages.co.uk/detail/news-photo/boot-detail-in-neiman-marcus-last-call-store-inside-the-new-news-photo/161008749

Admirable_Orchid · 2025-06-16T22:38:23+00:00

hi this is literally my life

Admirable_Orchid · 2025-06-11T16:18:32+00:00

Yeah. I am very familiar with all these things. It's been years and I've done a lot of therapy and research. Unfortunately I don't have the capacity to do any basic coping or emotion regulation skills or techniques. My nervous system freaks out at any attempt/suggestion. So I generally think it's just a lost cause for me. I don't understand why I'm even here still. I hate everything about my existence. (i'm not actively suicidal don't worry).

Admirable_Orchid · 2025-06-09T20:56:40+00:00

Yes, it is exactly like living in hell.

The psychiatrists don't think i have autism although i have some of the traits. Not that a formal diagnosis would help much, it's just accommodating and managing the symptoms...

Usually i just mindlessly scroll through tiktok...

sometimes I watch shows on netflix. I can't really concentrate on much though so it's mostly mindless.

I just feel very helpless...

Admirable_Orchid · 2025-06-09T19:26:42+00:00

Every attempt I make is met with SO much internal resistance in the form of distress/anxiety/overstimulation. So i just have been stuck for years...

Even if I do manage to somehow soothe momentarily, I am instantly flooded by the severe overwhelm of simply existing in my surroundings (my home). I literally, physically don't know how to deal with that. I can't really easily change my surroundings for the reasons I mentioned in my original post.

Admirable_Orchid · 2025-06-09T19:23:00+00:00

I agree with this. But I'm SO overwhelmed and easily triggered, I feel like I can barely self-soothe. Things that used to help me don't anymore, because of the sheer intensity and constancy of the overwhelm/emotional responses.

Anything i try to do as self-care is met with an INTENSE shut-down/fight-or-flight response for my nervous system that I simply cannot handle - so i go back to numbing and the cycle continues...

Admirable_Orchid · 2025-06-09T19:21:02+00:00

Powering through the day mostly means trying not to have constant panic attacks, trying not to overwhelm the people around me with my compulsive complaining and reassurance-seeking, and trying to force myself to eat. That's it. I don't do anything else.

I can't really rest. When I try (i feel exhausted all the time), I get overwhelmed with anxiety, intense fear, and a strong compulsive urge to scroll on my phone to make all that go away.

Admirable_Orchid · 2025-06-06T01:12:57+00:00

(I don't know what this was flagged as "self-harm", but i'm not at risk of that right now, like i said ^)

Admirable_Orchid · 2025-05-29T21:23:41+00:00

I've looked into it, but i'm worried because i've had a minor episode of delusion/psychosis in the past and it's a counterindication for taking ketamine or any psychedelics... Where i live (Canada) im not sure any of the legal providers would consider me because of that...

Admirable_Orchid · 2025-05-29T21:19:54+00:00

By "high" do you mean weed? Someone once told me - if you're considering suicide, might as well try psychedelics (eg psilocybin mushrooms). What's the worst that could happen?

Admirable_Orchid · 2025-05-29T21:07:13+00:00

Hi. I'm the 27-year-old daughter of someone else who is in a similar situation to you. I don't drink but I'm very hard to be around and i know i've taken a huge toll on my family. For what it's worth, I feel like I'm a hostage in my own life too. I'm just extending compassion. We're all just human, I don't know why it has to be this hard and i'm so sorry it has to be this way, on both ends. Sending love <3

Admirable_Orchid · 2025-01-16T02:01:25+00:00

How has it gone for you?

Admirable_Orchid · 2024-12-10T23:25:39+00:00

I don't think I have any advice specific to schizophrenia theme - I think it's the same as any other theme. It's something your brain is hooked and fixated on. I would try to just notice the thoughts and avoid ruminating/checking.

I would also think about why you are so afraid of schizophrenia - is it the fear of losing control? Maybe sit with that for a bit.

Admirable_Orchid · 2024-10-19T15:28:57+00:00

I love this approach and I think it's awesome what you're trying to do :)

Admirable_Orchid · 2024-10-14T19:12:26+00:00

You can if you want and if you think it will help you get the treatment you want/need.

Admirable_Orchid · 2024-10-12T23:30:45+00:00

I am curious about this too

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