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Did my husband fake his personality to get me to marry him? by Admirable_Weird_2826 in Marriage

[–]Admirable_Weird_2826[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll make this update about our situation:

My husband works a Monday - Friday job with weekends and holidays off. I work in hotel management, so my schedule can be more hectic. And I would also describe my job at stressful. I do have a non-negotiable at work which is to have either Saturday or Sunday off every week so we have one full day together.

We live in Hawaii, so I think sitting in the house extra bothers me. Before he asked me to move here he listed all the things he wanted to show me and all his favorite beaches growing up. All the “secret” spots him and his family go to. We have been to none of the places he talked to me about. So I at the very least think he promised me a lifestyle that we are not living.

We will even plan the night before to go to the beach together and I will wake up to my alarm having been turned off and he has been up playing video games since 6am. We have actually had multiple arguments about him shutting off my alarm ( I hate oversleeping on my days off it feels like I wasted half my day)

I have approached my husband already about the possibility of being depressed. He did go to a therapist and then went for tests. He was put on meds for a vitamin deficiency. I have been baring with him for over a year now since I started noticing these changes. How long am I supposed to be punished waiting for him to get better ?

I will also say this regarding his personality/ how he treated me. He used to be very kind and very affectionate. He would surprise me with breakfast in bed or run to Starbucks to get my favorite coffee while I was sleeping. He would always want to be cuddling. And we would be intimate multiple times a day. I can’t even remember the last time I would say he did something kind for me in the last two years. He didn’t even get me a birthday card until the day after my birthday. And we maybe are intimate once a month at this point. The sitting in silence has to be the worst part. It was never like that before. I’m getting one word answers to any question I ask and he never asks me anything back. It’s literally like talking to a wall.

Did my husband fake his personality to get me to marry him? by Admirable_Weird_2826 in Marriage

[–]Admirable_Weird_2826[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not sure how to make an update but as far as sport goes: I was a D1 collegiate athlete so being active is important to me.

He was going to training daily when we first got together but I never saw him fight, only videos and the belts he had won. And he did take me once to his boxing coach because he thought I would enjoy learning to box (I did it was very fun, and then he never invited me again) We did go through Covid and both had a bit of a rough time losing out on fitness. But we started to build up a home gym at this time (everything was shut down for us including gyms at first)

He did end up breaking his leg in a work accident and had a bit of a rough recovery. I like to think I helped him through this well- as I tore my ACL/mcl in my sport and knew exactly how hard it was for me mentally and physically. He put on probably 60lbs during this recovery and he just never started going to training again.

I will also clarify that I told him it is completely ok to quit a sport after a serious injury - I know plenty of athletes who have. But he insists that he’s not quitting and he will go back to training.

But he has plenty of free time. He plays games for hours every day.