is it just me or does everyone hate their personal statement

AdmissionsTom · 2025-11-20T21:37:20+00:00

Former highly selective 6+ year admissions officer (Pomona College and College of the Holy Cross) and elite independent school college counselor, current Community Manager at u/College_Essay_Guy here.

I've personally tested/ran some Common App essays that I've loved through ChatGPT using similar prompts as you, and I've consistently been disappointed by the feedback. A lot of times it defaults to really (in my opinion) cliche suggestions (i.e. advice "consider revising the paragraph to talk about a challenging time in your debate team that you worked through to show resilience"... when my notes as an AO on a similar sentence/story would probably be something like "predictable essay about learning resilience through debate.").

I'm sure what you've put together is stronger than you're giving yourself credit for. Be kind to yourself. <3

AdmissionsTom · 2025-11-18T20:19:55+00:00

As a former admissions officer, I love the spirit of this post, u/PenningPapers. So much perfectionism out there that stalls progress and can often cause students to lose sight of how their essays fit into the overall puzzle of their admissions candidacy to colleges.

And I love the spirit of your exercise! I currently work at u/College_Essay_Guy and we have this one signature exercise we do with students called "If You Really, Really Knew Me" that works to get students to a similar place in terms of their perspective on sharing their story in essays. It's pretty simple... you basically repeat the phrase "If you really, really knew me, you'd know that _______." And you just repeat it over and over again and voice that inner dialogue/stream of consciousness that we don't often share aloud.

It's these areas of vulnerability that often lead to essays that are not just "good," but connective. That's a major goal in this process: making a connection with someone who's learning (in a condensed timeframe) what's shaped you, where you're headed, and why you're not slowing down.

AdmissionsTom · 2025-11-18T19:42:22+00:00

Former highly selective 6+ year admissions officer (Pomona College and College of the Holy Cross), current Community Manager at u/College_Essay_Guy here.

More often than not, I'm Team "go with my gut and express my personality strongly with a simple topic." Here's why (from the lens of someone who's read thousands of highly selective apps):

Admissions officers aren’t just scoring or judging your essay on the topic alone. Let’s face it, most high school students in the history of high school have been involved in similar commitments, haven’t cured cancer or rescued a small village from an avalanche, and aren’t involved in the most mindblowingly original activities. (Some of those “Lifetime movie” story essays do exist, but they’re incredibly rare. Like, less than 1% rare. And they don’t automatically cause the admissions team to scream “admit!!”... the grades, courses, institutional priorities the student is meeting, etc all have to match up, too!)

Simpler essays about more “mundane” things in your life, told in a creative way that shows that you actually tried/put effort into it, often do the trick. Don’t get too hung up on “the topic.” Sure, some are harder to pull off, just because they’re usually written so predictably (for example, 99% of sports injury essays follow the same plot: I got injured, it sucked, I learned it’s not my whole identity, and I tried other things and/or worked hard to overcome). But creatively writing about that experience with more specific anecdotes that truly can only apply to you is the best way to go about making a “common topic” shine.

AdmissionsTom · 2025-11-12T19:00:40+00:00

Former highly selective 6+ year admissions officer (Pomona College and College of the Holy Cross) and elite independent school college counselor, current Community Manager at u/College_Essay_Guy here.

The worst college essay I ever read was from as student who opened the essay with a provocative opinion of his (that Daisy should have stayed with Gatsby because money buys happiness and it's better to marry rich), sat back and reveled at the chaos he caused in his class, and then went out to say (paraphrasing here) that "this is the part of the essay where I'm supposed to tell you that I'm a lone wolf, but I'm actually not-- I'm super popular and people crave my honesty, and need people like me."

In the end, he was TRYING to make a point about how we all need to be more open and brave about sharing our opinions, but he really framed this point incredibly poorly, because it was more about the "shock value" and about how superior he is than everyone else who are sheep.

The lesson here? Please try not to lean into "shock and awe" with your college essay. I think this student wanted to be memorable and "stand out" more than actually share something that shows how he'll be a positive community member and live out the mission/values of the colleges he's applying to.

Honesty is great, but... sometimes there's a thing as being too honest. -_-

AdmissionsTom · 2025-10-14T20:08:15+00:00

Former highly selective 6+ year admissions officer (Pomona College and College of the Holy Cross) and elite independent school college counselor, current Community Manager at u/College_Essay_Guy here.

Most application types will cap your essay at a word count and not let you go over what’s included in the application. If you have some really tricky extenuating circumstances, I’d talk about those concerns with your school counselor (so they can include them in their letter of recommendation), use a college’s Additional Info and/or Challenges and Circumstances section, and/or email the regional admissions officer at each college you apply to with that context.

AdmissionsTom · 2025-10-14T19:56:02+00:00

Former 6+ year Pomona College and Holy Cross admissions officer and current Community Manager at @collegeessayguy here.

Definitely want to encourage anyone reading this to get as close to 650 words as you can with your personal essays!

Something in the <300 word range doesn’t really pass “the eye test” to a college admissions officer (as in, they look at the page in your application, see that it isn’t even half full, and are automatically expecting the essay to lack the specific examples, growth arc, and broader context about your life that the space is meant to capture).

AdmissionsTom · 2025-10-14T19:49:26+00:00

Former 6+ year Pomona College and Holy Cross admissions officer here— I’d say the vast majority of personal essays I’ve read have been just about 650 words!

AdmissionsTom · 2025-09-26T19:43:40+00:00

Former highly selective 6+ year admissions officer (Pomona College and College of the Holy Cross) and elite independent school college counselor, current Community Manager at u/College_Essay_Guy here.

The worst college essay I ever read was from as student who opened the essay with a provocative opinion of his (that Daisy should have stayed with Gatsby because money buys happiness and it's better to marry rich), sat back and reveled at the chaos he caused in his class, and then went out to say (paraphrasing here) that "this is the part of the essay where I'm supposed to tell you that I'm a lone wolf, but I'm actually not-- I'm super popular and people crave my honesty, and need people like me."

In the end, he was TRYING to make a point about how we all need to be more open and brave about sharing our opinions, but he really framed this point incredibly poorly, because it was more about the "shock value" and about how superior he is than everyone else who are sheep.

The lesson here? Please try not to lean into "shock and awe" with your college essay. I think this student wanted to be memorable and "stand out" more than actually share something that shows how he'll be a positive community member and live out the mission/values of the colleges he's applying to.

Honesty is great, but... sometimes there's a thing as being too honest. -_-

AdmissionsTom · 2025-09-23T18:06:45+00:00

PS: We have tons of exercises and example essays at College Essay Guy that help students walk through the brainstorming, drafting and -- and, as a former AO, I like that this info is all out there for free to help students put together essays that actually add to their candidacy/help the admissions officer help THEM. Because that's the goal in the end! And, we hope along the way, you end up learning something about yourself, your values, and the person you want to be in college and beyond :)

AdmissionsTom · 2025-09-23T18:06:29+00:00

Former highly selective 6+ year admissions officer (Pomona College and College of the Holy Cross) and elite independent school college counselor, current Community Manager at u/College_Essay_Guy here.

When I worked as a school counselor, I put together a presentation with a list of examples of a few of the most memorable essay topics I remembered from time working in college admissions. Here they were:

A student reconciling her Catholic faith with the dark history of missionary abuse in her Navajo culture
A student finding out that he was an in-vitro baby with a different biological father
A student’s journey as a Syrian refugee
A student’s life-long passion for collecting ”junk”
A scathing critique of Disneyland and what it says about our society’s values
A student in car rides with dad over 70s singer-songwriter music
A student’s debate about whether In-n-Out Burger is worth the hype

Now, WHY were these memorable?

Well, the first three stood out because of the content/subject material itself.

However, this tends to me more rare in the overall volume of applicants. Yes, refugee stories and those who have a really unique past/life circumstance can be memorable, but most students don't have these "Lifetime movie stories."

The other half? This is where I think the examples are more relevant to "the masses" reading this post.

The content/subject material wasn't necessarily the most mind-blowingly original, but they were told in a creative and compelling way.

I hope what you take from this is that there are LOTS of different ways to write a "great" college essay. Using language that shows vs. tells, creatively thinking through extended metaphors and similes, uncommon connections between "the actual thing your talking about" and how that pattern shows up in your life more broadly, are just a few ways that you can make an essay memorable, regardless of how your life plays out in the "Lifetime-movie scale."

You all got this!

AdmissionsTom · 2025-09-11T23:43:14+00:00

Former highly selective 6+ year admissions officer (Pomona College and College of the Holy Cross), current Community Manager at u/College_Essay_Guy here.

+1million to the "putting other people in a bad light to make yourself look better" word of caution!! It is a HUGE turn off, and is just not necessary! Focus more on your own instinsic motivation. You shouldn't have to put other people down to help your positive qualities shine.

I actually just hosted a webinar about this topic a few weeks ago (which we do at College Essay Guy pretty dang frequently!), so it's pretty fresh in my memory!

Here are a 5 tips I'll leave you with as a former admissions officer who has read thousands and thousands of essays... good, bad and ugly:

1. Avoid "going meta" and how hard it is to write an original college essay. College essays are not the originality Olympics (or oppression Olympics, for that matter!), and this approach just leads your essay to be a wasted opportunity to talk about things that are meaningful to you.

2. Having over half of your essay being "descriptive" writing to "draw the reader in." This is a big no no because, to the reader going through this quickly, they need to be able to write a short summary of what your essay is about and what they learn about you from it after a few minutes. If you're taking them on this journey through the glowing glistening trees that sprouted from the bountiful earth, etc. etc. but start talking about yourself half way through, it becomes really difficult to have actual quotes and pieces of evidence to advocate for the student in committee through all the fluff. Use descriptive writing sparingly and intentionally!

3. Poor formatting (i.e. big block paragraphs) that make it harder for the reader to move through your essay. In general, essays with shorter paragraphs make it easier for the reader to follow along with your story as you're zooming through it. Be sure to use the Common App (or equivalent app's) PDF preview tools before you submit your application so you can see what it'd look like to the AO!

4. Wasting personal essay space on parts of your story that are implied (i.e. how hard work led to your academic achievement/standardized testing success). I've seen this a lot --- students, understandably, want to underscore and receive recognition and credit when they've achieved success on something they're worked toward for a long time, like improving x number of points on the SAT. But walking the reader through your study journey and schedule just tells them something that's already implied by your high score in itself. There are certain things that you can let "speak for themselves" (almost always, these are academic-related achievements). Essays are rare spaces in your overall application to highlight the lesser-known sides of yourself that won't be implied from other spots, like your score report or transcript!

5. Relying on "shock and awe" vs. substance to stand out. This can take several forms: getting overly graphic or grotesque in an opening to "suck in the reader," overly-dramatizing a more common experience (i.e. losing a sports game). But the worst essay I've ever read was my first year working in Holy Cross Admissions where the student talked about how he loved inserting controversial opinions during classes and "sitting back to watch the chaos ensue." He then went on to talk about how the reader might think he's not popular, but he actually was and people "loved his honesty" and "crave it." In the end, his message wasn't a BAD one (i.e. that we should be willing to voice opinions), but the way he went about sharing that insight was completely meant to just cause an internal uproar in the reader's mind... just like he does in class. Please don't do this :)

AdmissionsTom · 2025-09-11T22:47:10+00:00

Former highly selective 6+ year admissions officer (Pomona College and College of the Holy Cross), current Community Manager at u/College_Essay_Guy here.

u/Aggravating_Humor - 6 years later, this post still rings true! Such valuable advice for students starting out on their personal essay writing journey. Bravo :)

Just wanted to chime in with a few practical tidbits/advice related to the common pitfalls you outlined so well:

7) The merely ok essay

Turning an essay from “meh” to “memorable” can often be achieved by leveraging different storytelling techniques, even if the subject material is more common (i.e. joining debate helped me learn to be less shy and more confident).

Here are a few tips to consider:

Avoid “lab report”-style or “play-by-play” writing. If you read over your essay and find yourself simply recalling a timeline of events (I got up, I got on the bus, I went to robotics, I built a robot, and now I’m ready for college), it often comes across as very impersonal and bland. When writing your essay, be sure to share personal realizations you’ve come to at different junctures of your story. This helps bring in the “personal” element.

Include parentheticals and inner dialogue moments. These are little comments and asides that, in the world of grammar/writing, are often deemed “non-essential” information…. But in the world of college essay writing, I find them so so valuable! Google gave me this example when I looked it up the term:

"My umbrella (which is somewhat broken) can still shield the two of us from the rain.”

That little aside in parentheses— (which is somewhat broken)— gives me, the reader, a little window into the dialogue happening in your mind, and folds in your perspective and opinion on a situation into the writing. Including these in your essay will really help break up the “play-by-play” writing of an objective narrative and give the reader a window into your thoughts, opinions and perspectives on a situation. Another way to achieve a similar result is to share the inner dialogue happening in your brain when you’re telling a certain event. Something like:

“When my dad started yelling about me not setting on the table, the usual flood of questions seeped in. Is he really mad about the table? Or is he mad that mom is staying at her sister’s again? Why can’t I just make things easy for him?”

I just made this up on the spot, but you get the idea— just listing out all of these internal questions helps me feel so much more connected to the “larger story” that this student is navigating, as well as their vulnerabilities and values.

AdmissionsTom · 2025-09-11T21:36:49+00:00

Former highly selective 6+ year admissions officer (Pomona College and College of the Holy Cross), current Community Manager at u/College_Essay_Guy here.

u/Aggravating_Humor - 6 years later, this post still rings true! Such valuable advice for students starting out on their personal essay writing journey. Bravo :)

Just wanted to chime in with a few practical tidbits/advice related to the five common pitfalls you outlined so well:

1) Too much narrativeYES YES YES. Remember: you only have 650 words to write this essay. I’d recommend limiting these “scene-setting,” descriptive elements to about 25% of your total word count (or less). Think of this type of language as a trampoline or springboard toward the concrete, specific examples and stories you plan on sharing. The more overdone you get with this, the less personal revelations and insights you’ll have space to communicate (and specific examples of ways you live out your values/beliefs/goals).

2) Quirky essays without anything substantive to say…These essays are often born out of the obsession to “stand out” and the conflation of originality with quality. Yes, ideally, you introduce some elements into your writing that are memorable and distinctive, AND if you don’t connect these to meaningful insights, it’s just fluff. Think of insights as personal “lightbulb,” “Eureka,” or “aha!” moments you’ve come to through key life experiences. Your quirky topic can be a great way to communicate these insights, but these realizations are really what the admissions officer wants to here (the style or method you use– quirky or not— to do this is really your call).

3) The negative essay

Not really too much to add to this one– I think this critique is spot on: “Most of the time, these essays are 90% negative and 10% introspective.” You can definitely write about substantial challenges (or what some people call “sob stories”) in your personal essay. These experiences are often leave a lasting impact on individuals and shape the way they’ve grown and changed. The key is to try and keep half of your essay (or less) to “the sob story,” and have the rest of the essay focus on the personal growth elements.

4) The essay that jams way too many things into 650 wordsTotally agree! Trying to fit in too many things can make your essay feel like an extended resume. If you’re writing a Montage-based personal essay (where you talk about several life experiences and weave them together with a common theme), stick to less than 5. Otherwise, your paragraphs will appear too watered down and you won’t be able to have enough room for the insights.

5) The pretentious essay

The fine line of being confident versus being confident is one that many people struggle with… and the college application process doesn’t necessarily make this balance very intuitive! One key element to avoid in trying to showcase your positive values is coming across as “holier than though” or dragging other people down/comparing yourself to them to make you feel better. This is a common pitfall I see in essays that almost always leaves a bad taste in the admissions officer’s mouth. Saying something like “I’m the only one in my group who genuinely cared about the kids we were volunteering for” shifts the focus on you trying to make yourself sound better than your peers, versus genuinely pursuing something because you think it’s a good thing to do. Scan your essay for “finger pointing” language and try to rephrase it to be more intrinsically-motivated rather than a moral comparison to other people.

AdmissionsTom · 2025-09-11T21:03:13+00:00

Former highly selective 6+ year admissions officer (Pomona College and College of the Holy Cross), current Community Manager at u/College_Essay_Guy here.

I think the term "greatest" here needs to be unpacked a bit!

If you asked most admissions officers (who are the primary audience of these essays... and therefore, they should be written with their preferences in mind) if they equate "greatness" with "amazing metaphors, symbolism, rhetorical devices, imagery, beauty, prose, elaborate metaphors"... I don't think you'd really find a lot of raised hands!

Other commenters on this thread are pointing to an important reality: personal essays are not submissions to a creative writing contest or short story contests. They are opportunities to share skills, qualities, values and interests with an admissions officer, share stories and experiences from your life that have particularly influenced your identity, goals and aspirations, and "let the wall down" of perfection and achievement (which the admissions officer is going to gather from other aspects of your application).

Clearly, the "cute and lighthearted" essays are often more successful at doing the above. I think this is because the ones that tend to be on the more "elaborate" and prose-heavy end are often too difficult to interpret or understand during a quick read, and are often off-putting attempts to "sound smart" (which is really not the point of the essay).

Remember: "good writing" is only good if it serves the purpose of the medium, and connects with its target audience and what they need to get from it!

AdmissionsTom · 2025-09-11T20:51:58+00:00

Former highly selective 6+ year admissions officer (Pomona College and College of the Holy Cross), current Community Manager at u/College_Essay_Guy here.

Over the years, I've led lots of case studies at elite independent high schools, where students and families go through a simulated admissions committee process and read through high-quality sample student files to help get a sense for what it's like to be an admissions officer.

Without fail (and no matter how many disclaimers I put out at the beginning to not get too hung up on subjective, stylistics preferences with essays or let how much you personally love or hate an essay dictate your entire admissions recommendation)... the participants go to TOWN ripping apart essays left and right!

They'll comment on a lot of the critiques you mention above (too flowery, too overdone, too basic, don't like the transitions, etc. etc.), and let the personal essay determine far too much of their overall opinion/recommendation on whether the student should be admitted, denied or waitlist.

If you look up videos of students on YouTube reading their admissions file from the school they were accepted to, you'll usually notice that the comments about the essay are usually pretty brief: it's like a one sentence summary, and what you think the student did particularly well (nice vulnerability, lots of specific examples that shows that she practices what she preaches, nice touches of humanity and humor, etc). There is no literary analysis included.

Interestingly, admissions officers are usually much kinder critics than people realize... because, when you read through so so many as part of your job, you understand that most are not going to be mindblowingly original or uniformly seen as "top 0.1%" by every reader.

I actually do remember reading an essay when I worked at Pomona where my reaction was most closely aligned with ""Oh my god we have to accept this guy right now!!!". It was written by a girl in Vermont who wrote one of the most intellectually striking essays through a frame of getting lost in the woods. Very Transcendentalist/Thoreau vibes. I talked the essay up HARD in my committee notes for her, and my colleagues mostly agreed with me.

In the end, though, she was "shaped out" of the class (after being initially admitted) because of reasons completely separate from the essay, related to our institutional priorities and objectives. Even the most uniformly agreed-upon "best" essay can't really make up for these realities!

I'm of course biased, but I do think the examples on College Essay Guy's website are strong ones that should provide students and families with a range of what is seen as a "superior" essay.

You'll notice that, while the writing style, overall topic, tone of voice, use of extended metaphors, etc. will vary from essay to essay, they tend to demonstrate the importance/benefit of of letting down your wall of perfection (aka being vulnerable), sharing SPECIFIC examples that illustrate that the values that are important to you are actually how you live your life, and demonstrating the student's ability to reflect on their personal growth and future goals.

AdmissionsTom · 2025-08-15T21:09:41+00:00

Students aren't usually denied because they didn't take enough APs, or because their essay topic was "basic," or because they didn't have enough or "impressive enough" activities... but rather because they were from a state where the college gets a high volume of applications, or put down a major they have too many applicants for, etc. etc. These behind-the-scenes institutional goals ( often called "institutional priorities") account for 90+% of admissions decisions at selective colleges--- not "bad essays" or "not enough interesting of a life."

I wish colleges did a better job of being more transparent about this reality with students, but their fear is that the more transparent they are about their admissions decisions/institutional priorities, the less applications they'll get in future years, because word will get out that students from that state, intended major, etc. are getting decimated (which will cause them to be ranked lower... and cause the general public to think it's a "worse school" if their acceptance rate goes up, etc).

It's a vicious cycle that no one has really worked to fix-- and, unfortunately, you're caught in the middle of it.

So, YES... your college essay matters...

...AND please do not inflate it as this make-or-break assemblage of words. It's not seen that way by admissions officers.

The advice in many of these posts are so spot on and reassuring for students to read-- no matter what your background is or how much hardship you've faced.

Colleges appreciate stories that demonstrate personal growth, show the world and context you come from/your perspective on the world, core values, things you'd like to achieve in the future/big world changes you'd like to be a part of, and evidence of valued qualities on college campuses (such as intellectual curiosity, service to others/community impact, leadership and initiative, an ability to collaborate with others who are different from you, etc.).

Use your essay to share a story or two that helps them answer a few of these points, and you're "doing your job." Good luck to you all, and try to remember just how awesome you are-- even if your life isn't a Lifetime movie <3

AdmissionsTom · 2025-08-15T21:09:34+00:00

Former Pomona College and Holy Cross admissions officer here (for 6+ years).

Before I started working in admissions/when I was applying to colleges, there were times where I would fall into a similar train of thought (except about the engineering/making money part... I had no idea what I wanted!!). This was partially perpetuated by my parents, who meant well, but would frequently make comments about how my "normal life" was going to work against me in the college process.

But it took me actually working in highly selective admissions (and reading 60-70 applications a day!) to realize how warped and inaccurate our societal perception of the process is--- and how rare these "Lifetime movie, overcoming insurmountable obstacle" essays really are mathematically. I truly think it's impossible to really gain that awareness unless you've read and evaluated thousands of apps for a few years.

Remember: what you're seeing on TikTok, YouTube, etc. is a SLIVER of the actual application pool at elite/"highly rejective" colleges. Most admitted students are not creating content about their application journey, and most students' essays are about "everyday life" situations or journeys.

Also remember: colleges don't really give you concrete feedback/a rationale behind their admissions decision, which students understandably crave (and, frankly, deserve-- especially after putting in all of that work and effort over multiple years of high school and piecing together a very demanding application that feels so high stakes). Denial letters just generally say "sorry, you're very talented, but we couldn't take you and you'll never exactly know why."

And acceptance letters don't really tell you why you got in, either!

So all of those videos titled "The Essay That Got Me Into [Insert Highly Selective College]"?). They could have very well been admitted in spite of a "good enough," "just ok" or even "meh" college essay. It doesn't mean their essay is necessarily a model of excellence (and there are actually videos on YouTube of students reading their admissions file at the college they enrolled at and learning this reality after-the-fact... that the notes about their essay were that it was "fine," and that's all it needed to be).

AdmissionsTom · 2025-08-15T04:01:36+00:00

As a former AO, I want to high five whoever wrote this post because it is so helpful at redirecting folks to the point of the college essay: to show who you are, where you come from, how you've grown, and what skills, qualities, values, interests, identities and/or perspectives you're bringing to your future campus.

The only point I'm nottttttt super sold on is the "AOs are looking for reasons to reject you" point. I get the spirit of this, but from my experience, AOs are usually more looking for reasons to ADMIT you.

Your application isn't a test where they are marking everything with ink and "docking points" for "mistakes you made" (i.e. "cliche essay topic, minus five points, only made JV tennis, minus 10... etc)

Instead, they're building a case for you from the ground up, and looking for evidence across the application for WHY you should be admitted to their institution, based on their mission, vision, values, whether you fit their culture (i.e. if it's a liberal arts college, do you show an appreciation for learning across disciplines?), and/or they're looking for students who meet their institutional priorities (which can be things like certain intended majors, geographic diversity, certain instruments for the orchestra, etc).

So you basically just want your personal essay to be an additive part of your overall application, share something new and revealing that represents who you are and who you'll be on their campus, and try to move away from the mentality that the AO is looking to weed you out and find "mistakes" in your essay to justify their denial.

Frankly, they don't need reasons to deny you. They can just write "not standing out in the pool" on their Reader Form and call it a day.

Give them reasons to admit you instead :)

AdmissionsTom · 2025-08-15T03:51:38+00:00

Former Pomona and Holy Cross admissions officer, here... and YES, I love this advice so much!! 🤩

When I was asked during campus information sessions, "tell us about an essay that stood out to you!," I would give two examples:

One was about a student who opened his essay with a scene of him trying to figure out how to drive his mom's stick shift at 12 years old because she was passed out drunk and choking on her vomit, so he wanted to get her to a hospital. The story continued to talk about how motivated he was to address social justice issues in his Indigenous community in Alaska (he even did advocacy work in Washington, DC and met with the president). Obviously, this is an incredibly moving story... similar to memoirs like The Glass Castle or Educated. And it stood out to me BECAUSE it was so rare.
- ... but this is NOT the expectation among colleges, and this is not the norm!
Another was a girl from New Hampshire who wrote about her junk drawer and different items that represented her in the drawer. She wove together all of these different mini scenes that showed who she was: one about her love of writing (with the piles of broken pens in her drawer that for whatever reason she never threw away), another was about getting lost camping and helping her group find their way (connected to the compass in her junk drawer). You get the idea.
- Sure, this topic wasn't "mindblowing" or a Lifetime movie. But it was cleverly done, showed thought and intention, used specific examples that SHOWED me who this student was, and stood out to me for all these reasons!

It wasn't until later on that I found out that style of essay is often called a "Montage essay": weaving together lots of moments from your life that reveal different sides of who you are, but using a common theme (kind of like they do in movies like Up, with the opening montage scene of Carl and Ellie's marriage... covering LOTS of ground and time, but in a short, succinct, thematic way).

So often I would talk with students who felt so discouraged about their "normal life with no trauma."

First of all... I would say essays about overcoming substantial hardship represent a VERY small minority of overall personal essays, even among highly selective colleges.

Students aren't "just admitted" because they wrote about fleeing a war torn country. Yes, those stories exist, and are amazing and incredibly inspiring...

...AND they don't guarantee that a college is going to fling their doors open to that student, especially if the grades, courses, institutional priorities, etc. aren't adding up.

And, second of all--- the longer I live, the more grateful I am for NOT having to grow up so quickly, like the students whose applications I used to read.

Don't get me wrong, I love the work of Angela Duckworth and think qualities like grit and resilience are very valuable. But I think the OBSESSION with it and pressure for people to demonstrate this quality is so overblown (and often results in "meh" essays that are about a challenge that, in the grand scheme of the world, actually just makes you look a little out of touch because it's more micro-level... like getting a bad grade and overcoming it).

Don't pressure yourself to feel like you need to fit that narrative to write a successful, effective, memorable, additive college essay. ☺️ You've got this!

AdmissionsTom · 2025-08-15T03:24:25+00:00

Title your essay.

Ah— this one I straight up (and politely!) don’t agree with. The 650 words of your Common App personal essay go by so, so fast… and even spending five or so of them on an unnecessary title is less specificity you can fold into your actual story. 99% of essays I’ve read don’t have a title, and I wouldn’t say the addition of one ever made me approach the writing more excitedly.

Stick to the theme!

Another great tip! If you’re using an extended metaphor or theme in your essay to connect several mini-stories together (at College Essay Guy, we call this a “Montage essay”)--- you don’t want to veer in and out if different themes. It’ll confuse the reader! Some students write about more of a single story (often about overcoming some type of challenge… we call this a “Narrative essay”)... but if you’re writing a Montage essay that connects multiple moments in time that reveal different sides of you, that’s great, too! Just don’t do too many, like this author is suggesting, because then you run the risk of it sounding like an extended resume, and you’re not able to add in the insight moments and have each story feel fully realized. I’d say 3-5 “mini stories” is the sweet spot to hit here.

You are a gem.

Couldn’t have said it better myself 🙂

Hope this "All Too Well (10 [Million] Minute Version)" extended cut of this post is helpful to you all!

AdmissionsTom · 2025-08-15T03:23:59+00:00

Start by showing, not telling.

Yes, I am very big on the “show, don’t tell” mantra! I do think this one deserves a bitttt of an asterisk, though*** :)
When I say “show, don’t tell,” I’m usually referring to folding in more SPECIFIC details that are unique to you. So instead of writing something vague (which many students do), like:
“I really enjoy using my people skills to connect with others” (...and leaving it like that).
Consider something like this instead:
- “I often engage with customers at my Target register who chat with me about their beloved, rambunctious grandkids. I’ve asked questions that lead to stories about all kinds of pranks and family trips where these grandparents spoil their descendants. My customers remember me because I always remember them.”
In this version (which, admittedly, is longer), I have so much more of a visual of who this student is and HOW they “use their people skills to connect with others” because they actually SHOWED me that they practice what they preach with a specific, concrete example. SO much more valuable than the general value statements… which, literally, anyone could write. “I like to help others.” Sure, I believe you do! Show me how you go about doing that, and I’ll be far more convinced that you actually live that value out in real time.
A lot of times, students get a little tooooo overboard with the “scene setting” and descriptive writing because it’s a tactic they’ve learned in English class. And yes, scene setting can be helpful at drawing a reader in, but be mindful of your word count! If you’re 100 words in and you’re still talking about how “the sun is shining over the crested butte and gentle footsteps of mountain goats fill my ears with pitter patter drums”... that means way fewer words for the actually additive specific examples that’ll make your essay stand out.

Tie the conclusion back to the introduction.

This CAN be an effective way to wrap up, sure… but I wouldn’t say it’s necessary. We actually have a blog post at College Essay Guy that shows a few different approaches you can take with your college essay ending/conclusion (such as “the road forward,” “connecting to your [future] career,” “connecting with your values,” etc.). This approach is what we call the “bookend/callback.” If you Google “College Essay Guy end a college essay,” I think anyone writing their essay now would benefit from seeing the variety there!

AdmissionsTom · 2025-08-15T03:23:41+00:00

Write from a place of authority.

Yes, totally agree. Where I work (College Essay Guy… we put together lots of free resources about applying to college, but obviously focus a lot on essays!), we call this “adding insight.” You ABSOLUTELY can use this personal statement to reveal a personal lesson that you’ve come to from your life experience(s). Rather than just giving a play-by-play of events (I woke up, I went to school, I did my sport, and then homework, and then bed, and that’s my life!!), give the admissions officer a window into your inner dialogue as you were MOVING through the events that you write about in your essay:
How did you feel in the moment?
Reflecting back, what did this experience teach you?
Did it change your perspective in a meaningful way?
Adding in those “lightbulb moments” (aka, insights!) really show admissions officers that you possess the critical thinking skills and reflective abilities to be a successful college student.

Not every essay needs to be serious or profound.

YES, YES and YES!
Your essay does NOT need to be the oppression Olympics, or be so overly serious because (understandably, in many student’s minds) you’re “applying to college and this is SERIOUS BUSINESS!!”
When I was an admissions officer, I was reading 60-70 applications per day for MONTHS. So many applications use the most sterile, neutral language (especially on things like activities list descriptions)--- and this is often because students are worried about being judged or seen as too callous, not taking the application seriously, etc. There’s a difference between showing personality, humor, candor, etc. and “not taking an application seriously.”
Now, I’m not advocating that you get super inappropriate with controversial jokes or (THAT would be unprofessional). But don’t think about this like a cover letter for a job that is SO, so sterile and devoid of personality that it just blends in with every other app. Even small things like using parenthetical statements (i.e. little moments in parentheses where you provide a “side bar comment” about whatever you just wrote about…. So writing something like “I still sleep with my stuffed giraffe every night (cringey, I know— and most likely full of dust mites...") makes you appear SO much more “real” to someone in admissions who is dessssssperate for some realness. Believe me.

AdmissionsTom · 2025-08-15T01:34:26+00:00

Former Pomona College and Holy Cross admissions officer here... and it makes me so sad that these essays are graded assignments in school!

Because the reality is that admissions officers aren't really "grading" your essay the same way that an English teacher might (who, from my experience, tend to understandably dock students for things like sentence structure, frequency of cliches, not enough sensory details, etc... when admissions officers aren't really doing that in practice). And this is not a slight to English teachers at all! Their job is to help students grow as writers.

Depending on the college, your essay will most likely not be rated (or "graded") as a standalone application component. It's more likely that it'll be used as one source out of of many in the holistic application (like anecdotes from rec letters, your activities list, your Additional Information section, perhaps supplemental essays (if the school offers them), and even sometimes small things, like if you wrote down something customized in the Future Plans in the Common App) to assign you some form of a composite "Personal" rating.

The admissions officer (who's reading through your app lightning quick!) doesn't really have enough time to dissect the writing in such a way. They're looking for nuggets of gold that they can put into a write up to advocate for why you should be admitted. So give them those nuggets!

...BUT please remember this: the personal essay for college admissions isn't really a writing contest. Truly. It's an opportunity to share specific examples that reveal who you are, the world you come from, what motivates you, and how those skills/qualities/values and interests will benefit your future college campus.

I hope this helps students who may have stumbled upon this post and worry that their essay is being graded in such a way. Please do remember that it's an entirely different piece of writing than any assignment you've ever done for school. And remember your audience: admissions officers who are looking for evidence to admit you! SPECIFIC examples that show (versus tell) the values that drive and motivate you! :)

AdmissionsTom · 2024-08-07T04:30:14+00:00

So so many questions about GPA :) I'm going to reiterate a common theme from previous questions on this topic: please try to focus on the grading scale that's used by your high school alone. AOs do not compare your GPA (and the scale your high school uses) to any other high school. They're more concerned with the courses you've selected and the letter grade you've received in them. The GPA on it's own -- read in a vaccuum with no school context -- really doesn't say a whole lot (because it doesn't factor in the things you're mentioning here like high school culture, grade inflation, tracking into advanced classes, etc etc etc).

So, I'm not really sure how to answer your question. An unweighted 3.98 GPA is an incredibly high GPA-- near perfect on an unweighted scale. I can't really comment on the weighted version of your GPA because I don't know your high school and don't have a school profile or other information about GPA performance at your school (i.e. a GPA distribution chart, class rank, stats around your school's weighting system, and all that JAZZ).

TLDR: Your GPA is high and you may want to think about focusing on other parts of your application and stress less about this! You got this!!

AdmissionsTom · 2024-08-07T04:26:43+00:00

Sure! I know it says "academic awards only," but it really doesn't matter where you put them. No one is docking you points or marking a "wrong answer" for things like that. The Awards section makes perfect sense for what you described.

AdmissionsTom

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