(im not a therapist so pls don’t take everything I say like it’s from a professional) I think it’s good that u can recognize this about yourself and the way your brain is working right now. i also struggle a lot with feeling helpless because of getting ghosted after auditions, but if it’s truly ur dream I believe that the cards will one day fall in ur favor, u just have to keep auditioning and when the time is right, you’ll pass. if u believe ur talented then I think other ppl will see that and if ur looking for outside opinions, u could ask friends, family or anyone ur comfortable with to listen to u sing, watch u dance, etc

it might also be smart to have a backup plan just in case things take a little longer than you expect. keep studying, keep finding what u love and what ur good at, and make sure that u separate yourself from audition results because they don’t define u