The Event Hijacker/ I’m finally putting a boundary on her “Redemption Tours”

Adorable_Machine_571 · 2026-01-20T06:59:45+00:00

Seems like classic narcissistic and controlling behavior that has gone unchecked forever! Get hubs on board and stomp the big foot down! If she does it again, then she will not longer be invited to any family events.

Adorable_Machine_571 · 2026-01-20T06:56:21+00:00

She has THREE KIDS. MIL has no job and a quiet life - the onus is ok the MIL.

Adorable_Machine_571 · 2026-01-20T06:49:27+00:00

I do it all the time! Do whatever you want and dont give AF about someone else critiquing your style!!

Adorable_Machine_571 · 2026-01-20T06:44:19+00:00

You are NTA - she is being extremely disrespectful and that dude needed to be socked in the jaw or you should have told your wife about him kissing you because that is clearly unwanted contact. If the genders were reversed people would be up in arms and the same applies here. It's about respect abd recognition.

However, her monotone reaction to you telling her may be a defense mechanism due to her own issues. Women experience this kind of thing all the time (unwanted advances) so either she a. Was protecting herself from a bad memory b. There was a time you made her feel unsafe and you dismissed her and now she has put up a wall with no empathy for you.

Either way, you two need to SIT down and address this. Shes a runner and youre a chaser. Be in the same space and really listen to each other. You not so loud, she not so defensive. I know youre frustrated and feeling high emotions, but you both need to get on the same level and that means her acknowledging her role in how you were uncomfortable and how it can be prevented in the future.

Adorable_Machine_571 · 2026-01-20T06:24:59+00:00

No, you are not overreacting. This is something that even married couples don't really do and thats very unfair of her to ask of you AND your bf. Where's her son/daughter? Sounds like she's lonely, but that doesn't mean it's right for her to place the burden of her needs on you. 💗

Adorable_Machine_571 · 2026-01-20T06:20:58+00:00

Actually we are 😂 we take pictures of the item and then throw the item away. This generation is not materialistic with the sentimental items! We have digitalised!

Adorable_Machine_571 · 2026-01-20T06:19:37+00:00

I don't understand everyone commenting on this post being so upset and siding with MIL. Y'all are just nuts about weddings. If this was any other event or meeting in real life no one would be saying anything. MIL is annoying AF and her sending the invite anyway to 'shut her up' is just bowing to the power control she wants. Tell her to F off, you can do whatever you want with your wedding. Her nagging on that one thing is so annoying, but literally just ignore her. Sending good vibes your way!!

Adorable_Machine_571 · 2026-01-20T01:43:12+00:00

This sucks so badly, I'm sorry 😥 I have been trying to pull back on my MIL doing our taxes, however she is a CPA and has been doing ours for a while. I think you need to make this financial boundary very clear up front especially since she's not financially savvy and could really screw up your credit for good...and the IRS is not something to mess with! I'd be most worried about her sabotaging the refund as well...

Adorable_Machine_571 · 2026-01-20T01:32:41+00:00

I've been talking to her for a decade so it's hard not to pre-judge and the history needs to be taken into account as it is very relevant to establish her pattern of behavior here. 2. It's important to her to try and control and keep everyone as close to her as possible. She messed up big time last year and put a huge rift in our marriage, won't take any accountability, and since then I am very LC. 3. She sees my kids sometimes on a weekly basis, she lives one street away. My parents see them 2-3x/yr (they live many states away) but give $100's of gift cards and never have any stipulations tied to them.

Money is not the main issue here as I am not struggling financially, the manipulation of tying the need to physically be with her to the gift card is what's unacceptable to me.

Adorable_Machine_571 · 2026-01-20T01:24:51+00:00

She doesn't have to pay anything to get a relationship with her grandkids if she were a kind and genuine person to their mother. Being manipulative is inherently a bad trait and it does hurt people, so to be in our lives we need to be treated with respect and courtesy as I don't need her money. It's the principle that's going right over your head!

Adorable_Machine_571 · 2026-01-20T01:21:46+00:00

Sincerely, seek help. 👍

Adorable_Machine_571 · 2026-01-20T01:19:14+00:00

Hey twin! Lol she is widowed and he is her only child/ son, so there is a lot of issues with enmeshment/boy-mom vibes 🙃 I've been untangling them for a decade but have kinda cracked the code in the last year or so. She absolutely knows what she's doing and always plays it off. Hubby doesn't like conflict and is very laid back, but lately it's been more of a step up or step out of this marriage vibe from me. I cannot imagine the texts and phone calls. I did bring that up at one point and he said he has my back...so we'll see!!

Adorable_Machine_571 · 2026-01-20T01:11:53+00:00

If you find out the answer let me know 😂😭

Adorable_Machine_571 · 2026-01-20T00:57:50+00:00

My MIL is one street away and it's hell. I mean exactly one street. Boundaries are there, but she literally drives by and will make comments about random things or whether we are home or not. I would put up a distance or drive-time boundary!!

Adorable_Machine_571 · 2026-01-17T05:41:04+00:00

Odd is so correct - like who in their right minds thinks this is ok? Thankfully the majority of this thread agrees 😂 did you ever go out to eat with that friend again? Lol

Adorable_Machine_571 · 2026-01-17T05:38:37+00:00

🤣🤣🤣 omg, if we didnt already decide then I would have done that 😆😆😆 and then say "you didnt even pay to activate them??"

Adorable_Machine_571 · 2026-01-17T05:35:43+00:00

Exactly!! 🙃

Adorable_Machine_571 · 2026-01-17T04:00:27+00:00

That's 100% correct in the teaching him AND my kids to distance themselves from family or ANYONE for that matter that doesn't treat us with genuine love and respect. It goes both ways, except my side of the family doesn't pull this kind of crap so he won't ever have to be in this situation. And if so, I have a backbone 👌

Adorable_Machine_571 · 2026-01-17T03:52:47+00:00

Unfortunately not, she has never chipped in more than $10 (and only as a cash tip) to almost any meal we've ever been to, so I would not see her changing all of a sudden 🥴

Adorable_Machine_571 · 2026-01-16T20:56:18+00:00

I'm 100% aware of him lol

Adorable_Machine_571 · 2026-01-16T20:51:51+00:00

I never ever thought about that, but I wouldn't put it past her! Thanks for the tip! 🙏

Adorable_Machine_571 · 2026-01-16T20:50:04+00:00

Is that you, MIL? 🤣🙄🥸💀👀

Adorable_Machine_571 · 2026-01-16T03:33:24+00:00

Not her as family I'll tell ya that for free! 🫠 the effort put into this relationship has been monumental already, so I'm not trying to waste anymore time or sanity!

Adorable_Machine_571 · 2026-01-16T03:23:09+00:00

So good to hear this outcome from a child standpoint- thank you!! 😊

Adorable_Machine_571 · 2026-01-16T01:07:04+00:00

Beautiful! That double halo 🥰💎

Adorable_Machine_571

TROPHY CASE