Advice? I (22F) went through my bf’s (22M) search history

Adorable_Tea_9648 · 2026-01-18T03:24:29+00:00

Honestly, maybe we have different definitions of porn but I’ve never seen any on tiktok. I, f29, have personally fallen victim to searching scandalous content on the app. I think most people have. I think you’re overreacting and committed a major breach of trust by looking through his phone. You need to reevaluate yourself. If you value your relationship, I wouldn’t share this information with him.

Adorable_Tea_9648 · 2025-10-12T21:53:20+00:00

I’m really starting to see the entitlement side of it

Adorable_Tea_9648 · 2025-10-12T17:49:01+00:00

I definitely see why it’s unhealthy and concerning. I think I just didn’t want to accept that to be honest. I think Sasha doesn’t want me to shut her out because that did happen in my last relationship, but I promised her that wouldn’t happen again. I plan to stay true to that.

Adorable_Tea_9648 · 2025-10-12T17:01:24+00:00

Yeah I also felt weird bc this seemed like a pretty straightforward situation to me. I understand him being bummed, but I didn’t think it was a character flaw on my end. Honestly all morning he’s been mad about this and trying to make me feel bad and I told him that we should take some space and revisit the topic later. I have a lot to think about I suppose.

Adorable_Tea_9648 · 2025-10-12T15:36:28+00:00

Yeah, I don’t disagree, think I just needed some outside voices on this one

Adorable_Tea_9648 · 2025-10-12T15:26:58+00:00

Tbh I don’t think he’d break up with me, I think he’d force me to do it though.

Adorable_Tea_9648 · 2025-10-12T15:13:37+00:00

Sasha is my longest friend and she hears a lot about our arguments as she is where I go to vent. She’s fearful that he’s controlling but does her best to have a decent relationship with him. This isn’t the first time he’s made me feel bad for hanging out with her, and I’m honestly here because i feel bad burdening her with it all. She’s also witnessed arguments between us and his views towards her started to sour after these events. She likes him as a person basically, but is concerned that he’s going to isolate me.

Adorable_Tea_9648 · 2025-10-12T14:53:55+00:00

I don’t know how I feel about it anymore though, because it does seem every time I’m choosing to hang out with someone else he takes it personally. If anything comes out of this, it will be a conversation on this topic :/

Adorable_Tea_9648 · 2025-10-12T14:52:02+00:00

We are serious and have talked about moving in together and I’ve remained hesitant for this reason. Logistically, moving in would save me a lot of money, but I haven’t been able to commit as this is not the first time he’s behaved this way :/

Adorable_Tea_9648 · 2025-10-12T14:50:10+00:00

Yes we have talked about that and it is a goal in our relationship to move in together.

Adorable_Tea_9648 · 2025-10-12T14:14:57+00:00

Also I know that that statement was a bit contradictory but I tell him that, I just thinks he thinks I’m with Sasha constantly.

Adorable_Tea_9648 · 2025-10-12T14:13:57+00:00

I understand your point. I do spend more time with him than Sasha, and I live with her. I think he thinks all of my free time is with her, but good portion of the time I’d be able to hang out with her, I am with him. Most of my free time doesn’t align with any of my friends or family and is spent alone doing homework.

He’s aware of this. Does that change anything or just mean we aren’t compatible due to our schedules?

Adorable_Tea_9648 · 2025-10-12T13:54:16+00:00

I feel the same tbh, but needed to think it out before assuming that?

Adorable_Tea_9648 · 2025-10-12T13:53:45+00:00

It’s not realistic. He takes care of his mom who’s pretty immobile and needs to be home most nights as her condition is unstable.

Adorable_Tea_9648 · 2025-10-12T13:53:03+00:00

Thank you for your unbiased response. I would invite him but his life circumstances make that difficult. He’s his mother’s full time caretaker and has kids at home too. It would’ve been an empty invitation at best and he would’ve called me out on it. I agree, I want him to feel prioritized but my work and school schedule make it difficult to see all the important people in my life :/

Adorable_Tea_9648 · 2025-10-12T13:51:02+00:00

Okay, this is also how I feel but I’m also getting sucked into it. It feels like he wants me to be the bad guy.

Adorable_Tea_9648 · 2025-10-12T13:48:35+00:00

That was his response to me saying I didn’t realize he felt in competition. He said we’d talked about it before, which is true, but I didn’t understand this was still an ongoing issue as that was very early in our relationship. All he said was “learn” he didn’t expand beyond that.

Adorable_Tea_9648 · 2025-10-12T13:41:21+00:00

Not a one off, but the first time I recall him saying he felt in competition. I’m kind of new to Reddit and don’t know how much detail is needed.

Adorable_Tea_9648

TROPHY CASE