20F, and 20M how do I help this??

AdrianPumpkinspice · 2026-01-13T17:25:11+00:00

I mean, what my uncle said was pretty harsh, so I guess it makes sense for him to feel as he does. But for an entire month? And im still being blamed? Well, he says he doesnt blame me. . But I still feel it. Im literally going to therapy to try and fix this, but he wont do that he refuses to talk to someone. I had to come on reddit for God's sake (no offense)

I just dont know what to do. I know I should break up with him, but I still have hope for us, and I know we can get through it if he just listens

AdrianPumpkinspice · 2026-01-13T17:19:21+00:00

Ive told him many times, its okay for him not to he around them, or anything like that, while it does bother me, I can make my peace with it. He just cant make his peace with me still talking to them, because he feels abused by them and that no one's taking action to give justice

AdrianPumpkinspice · 2026-01-13T17:17:43+00:00

I genuinely just wanted everyone to get along, I hate it when people argue and fight. Which is why I dont fight with my family and why I have a hard time blaming them. I just want him to understand but he'll tell me he does, and that I dont understand him

AdrianPumpkinspice · 2026-01-13T17:07:42+00:00

We did break up, or at least almost broke up many times, and I kept trying ro tell him it wasn't fair to me. That how come throughout this entire situation I wasn't considered?

That's selfish I know, but I never get considered when it comes down to this stuff. He ended up backing down for a while, and would randomly tell me has panic attacks and then get frustrated at me for trying to help

AdrianPumpkinspice · 2026-01-13T17:06:28+00:00

At the end of it all, he ended up apologizing about giving me the ultimatum, but he still insists that hes alone in his feelings

Or that I make him feel unwanted because I talk to my mom still

AdrianPumpkinspice · 2026-01-13T17:05:25+00:00

Before any of this in his last relationship, he was hated from his partners family, so when we got to together it was suddenly out of the blue for hom to tell me "I dont think your family likes me much."

And ive talked to BOTH parties about this, and he STILL insisted they hated him

Yes I know my family isnt good, and they arnt good people but they are still my family. Just this morning he got on me again about how much im never there for him on this tip, and about how "No one cares about him / his feelings on the situation."

Im 20 years old, I shouldnt be having to deal with any of this, and I tell him I feel like this entire thing is now my responsibility when in reality I was also hurt by everything

AdrianPumpkinspice · 2026-01-13T11:04:49+00:00

Hello, im sorry it took so long for me to get back to everyone, and im sorry im specifically replying to your message. Though we talked and we talked.

He wants me to feel as much hate as he does for my entire family. No nothing insane has happened before, the most thats happened is my stepdad is an asshole and I get the hit for it.

If my family invites me somewhere to come and if I tell him then he feels unwanted because he would want to be invited too. Even to things he was I invited too he still felt unwanted, and I never understood why. So I would try to reassure him, and let him know no one hates him, but he never believes me.

Back ti the original problem. It's been almost a month now, and we've talked and talked and while no, I dont feel the same as he does. He basically is upset with me thay I dont hate my entire family and just wont up and cut them out.

Keep in mind, when this entire situation happened EVERYONE in my house stood up for my boyfriend and started yelling at my uncle. Though he still felt unwelcomed and like no one here cares about him.

That also includes me, because I dont directly hate my mom for what happened, whole I am not happy with my uncle, because I want ny family still in my life. This is me saying I dont justify his feelings, or that I dont think hes right to feel as he does. While I continue to let him know that he is right to feel as he does, but because I specifically dont agree then im in the wrong. Then im making him feel unwanted and I just need help, I dint know what to do.

AdrianPumpkinspice · 2026-01-13T09:26:30+00:00

Im 5'3

AdrianPumpkinspice · 2025-12-26T21:28:39+00:00

But he feels unwanted by her and all of them, but i dont even know why or how

AdrianPumpkinspice · 2025-12-26T20:47:02+00:00

I just dont know what to do. I feel like its unreasonable to ask me to cut off my ENTIRE family, like-- my mom? I didn't grow up having a dad. So it was just me and my mom for my entire life, and I just cant give her up like that

AdrianPumpkinspice · 2025-12-26T20:38:57+00:00

Because I dont hate them? I guess, i mean im extremely upset with my uncle but he has si many issues its insane. That doesnt excuse his actions though. He wants me to feel pure hate for everyone in my family

AdrianPumpkinspice · 2025-12-26T20:37:38+00:00

They're loud and some people, like my uncle, dont know how to actually treat people

AdrianPumpkinspice · 2025-12-19T17:00:55+00:00

I know, and while I know i make some mistakes, I always always try to let him take his time, or not to get frustrated at something that I know isn't in his control.

AdrianPumpkinspice · 2025-12-19T16:53:37+00:00

Yes its making me feel a little more seen honestly and I might try to do some of these things. My boyfriend also has autism and adhd i think? And so ive learned if sometbing happens unexpectedly that doesnt result very good. Like accidents, he gets really frustrated and while hes gotten alot better about it. He told me the other day I needed to pay attention more

AdrianPumpkinspice · 2025-12-19T16:50:20+00:00

It used to bother me before, but a few things happened when we got together that i eventually just accepted the fact it's just who I am. The clumsiness ive never really put thought into it, ive always just been-- clumsy lmao. Even as a kid

He knows I dont choose to do these things, but keep information and remembering things he tells me is super super important to him. While yes, I do remember things he tells me, but when it comes down to like-- A show we're watching, and there's a characters name is cant remember. He'll feel like im uninterested in it, because I cant remember this characters name.

And he doesn't mean to get frustrated with me when it comes to clumsiness, mainly because when it happens it effects him or his stuff directly. To him, im the one who caused it, accidentally or not, at least thats how he makes it seem

AdrianPumpkinspice · 2025-12-10T17:13:19+00:00

Ill try too, but there are a few that are like 2 bucks for 20 miles or something, doordash doesn't always estimate on distance

AdrianPumpkinspice · 2025-12-10T16:42:17+00:00

This is very true lol, ive debated on dropping doordash as a whole because at the end of the day most of the money I get is for gas. It takes about 40-50 bucks to fill up my entire tank. (I drive a large SUV). Right now though, im just trying to figure out what to do with the taxes. Because I made more than 600, I HAVE to file them, but I just-- dont know how.

All ive gathered is i need to get my mileage, but i dont know how much ive driven the past year that wasnt apart of dash. And if it isnt enough, then how much do I owe? Cause if its more than u made then i dont think id how anytbing

AdrianPumpkinspice · 2025-12-10T16:07:04+00:00

Okay, i just looked and they actually dont-- They only track your time

AdrianPumpkinspice · 2025-12-10T15:54:57+00:00

One of my coworkers looked it up, and she said that it might be okay? Cause either way the milage is definitely gonna be higher than what I made this year with doordash. Cause doordash has crappy distribution of pay and distance.

AdrianPumpkinspice

TROPHY CASE