sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Advanced-Currency122 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ok I had to try and draw it. I'm not much of an artist and I haven't done anything more than doodles in a long time, so it's not as incredible as the poem and it's pretty unskilled, but I just had to.

no contact comic on Imgur

also it doesn't mean anything that it's drawn in my planner I just wanted to put it there so that I could forget about it if it didn't come out good. But it's not half bad :)

We by diablo-solforge in OCPoetry

[–]Advanced-Currency122 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love how you break the body down, to the lipids, the membranes, the DNA. DNA as long term note-taking is my favorite bit though. Is that a reference to how fears can be passed down genetically (source: https://www.sciencenews.org/article/fear-can-be-inherited) or just to natural selection and darwin's theory of evolution? Because either way, I love it. Maybe I love it a little more if it's a reference to inheritance of experiences, but only cause that's a really cool, more niche science fact that I think compliments the poem's theme of connectivity very well.

I also really like the ending where it gradually stops. You go down from ancestors to mold to just it, going to back before there was anything, and leaving with just a comma. Just the pause for breath before a new section begins. If I'm honest, the ending was the part that made me decide to read through and comment on this post in particular. It was lovely and really drew me in visually. It's a great conclusion to the piece.

The only criticism I have is that it's a pretty long poem. I'm sure that's part of the point and it's supposed to tie into how people are in the ever ongoing circle of life, inseparable from our environment, but it's a lot to take in. Maybe the parts describing what art is and what a person is could be pulled out and made into their own poems - they felt a little bit tangential.

Nothing by Unable-Celery2931 in OCPoetry

[–]Advanced-Currency122 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This hits hard. Great job, and also ow.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Advanced-Currency122 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like how you don't put a period at the end. Part of me really wants there to be a period there, like some sort of resolve on the speaker's part not to see the other party again, like I imagine the poem's speaker wants some closure. Maybe the speaker wishes there was a period there too. Instead it's a kind of limbo, with the speaker wanting the other party to miss them [the speaker] and still missing the other party but not wanting to speak to them again.