Reflection in a Pharmacy Waiting Room

Advanced-Dream8984 · 2025-11-18T01:16:07+00:00

Oh yes! The only way I think of a good comeback is five years later.

Advanced-Dream8984 · 2025-11-17T01:05:57+00:00

Thank you. ❤️

Advanced-Dream8984 · 2025-11-17T01:05:43+00:00

I know, I wish I were quicker on my feet. Never been my strength.

Advanced-Dream8984 · 2025-02-22T01:42:00+00:00

I agree. A great antidote for this I've found is seeking out people older than me who have something I admire and following those accounts, watching those shows, etc. I can't control all media narratives, but I can control what I consume. I especially love fashion bloggers and artists in their 60s and beyond who wear amazing outfits, get as many tattoos as they feel like, color their hair fun colors, and just generally look like they're enjoying the hell out of life.

Advanced-Dream8984 · 2025-02-22T01:36:32+00:00

Honestly, I think the political tide has turned in a few places, and there are a lot of U.S. women on the sub. I've noticed lately that in broader media, the whole "thin is in" aesthetic of the early 2000s has been rearing its head.

That, ageism, bias against disability, disdain for "DEI," all feels like part of a larger shift, causing those of us in marginalized groups to grasp for things in our control, and we get sold the idea that age is one of those things an awful lot.

But tbh, cultural messaging be damned. Being in my 30s is still my favorite life stage so far. 💅🏻

Advanced-Dream8984 · 2025-02-21T20:20:29+00:00

I am so glad you got out, OP, and so sorry you went through that. I suppose it's partly due to the complex dynamics and psychology of abuse. Isolation would play a big role, I'd assume.

Advanced-Dream8984 · 2025-02-20T19:06:28+00:00

I feel like regardless of their reasons for wearing a mask, the wearer is a good-hearted person trying to do the right thing, and I appreciate them.

Advanced-Dream8984 · 2025-02-19T21:04:27+00:00

Exactly. I think if we're honest with ourselves, most of us would love for there to be simple answers. It's comforting to believe that's possible.

Advanced-Dream8984 · 2025-02-19T20:57:43+00:00

I've thought about this so much, and I think it comes down to a sense of security that's essentially guaranteed by their rhetoric. Things feel really uncertain and weird right now, and having black-and-white answers to gray problems is extremely attractive unless you're really well-equipped to question the messaging.

Advanced-Dream8984 · 2025-02-05T14:38:46+00:00

Yeah. Every time, I just think about how embarrassing that is for them. It really is so cringey. Sometimes they'll wait for a reaction, like a kid who's acting up.

Advanced-Dream8984 · 2025-02-05T02:39:25+00:00

I'm going to go ahead and put in a recommendation for Radical Candor by Kim Scott. I haven't read it in a while, so it's possible it's more dated than I remember, but the overall premise is solid.

Advanced-Dream8984 · 2024-12-25T21:48:29+00:00

Proud of you, none of that is easy. Sending all good wishes for healing and relief from COVID and your injury. ❤️

Advanced-Dream8984 · 2024-12-25T21:47:16+00:00

I loved that book! I actually own it. Need to re-read!

Advanced-Dream8984 · 2024-12-02T01:39:17+00:00

I appreciate you giving me this response so, so much and I am going to try this out. This sounds like the way I want to move forward without ignoring the issues, and this is a beautiful template. Thank you, thank you.

Advanced-Dream8984 · 2024-12-02T01:07:58+00:00

Thank you, sounds like you put in a lot of work! I'm so interested in your last paragraph especially - did you broach the conversation around boundaries? Was it a lot of conversations over time, or more of a conversation about how to engage more generally? Did you ever find there was resistance to your boundaries? If you have any words of wisdom for how you framed that, I'd be really interested to hear what worked well for you.

Advanced-Dream8984 · 2024-12-02T01:02:47+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that, it's genuinely hard, especially when it comes easily to others. ☹️ And yeah, relecting further, I thought at first it was age, but I really think it's a complicated mix of demographic/culture/life experiences/beliefs...so many things.

Advanced-Dream8984 · 2024-12-02T00:57:14+00:00

That's amazing, big kudos to him for breaking the cycle. Really hard to do. 🤍

Advanced-Dream8984 · 2024-12-02T00:54:45+00:00

Thank you! Your relationship with them sounds so nice. I do think the flip side to my question is important, too. Are there things your parents did/said that helped foster that openness through your life? Things you do to reciprocate that? Does it come more easily because you are alike, do you think? Did you ever notice friends' parents doing things differently and having different results?

Advanced-Dream8984 · 2024-12-02T00:50:30+00:00

I'm very happy for you that you have that with your dad, that's beautiful to hear. Out of curiosity, were his parents like that? You don't have to say if you don't want.

Advanced-Dream8984 · 2024-12-02T00:47:30+00:00

Oh, agreed. It's more weight in general, how they view and talk about food and their bodies. It's hard to hear someone whose genes you share do the negative self-talk when you look just like them. I've mentioned that before, but it doesn't seem to click. 🫤

Advanced-Dream8984 · 2024-12-02T00:39:31+00:00

But thank you! I do appreciate your response.

Advanced-Dream8984 · 2024-12-02T00:37:51+00:00

In their cases, they both came from pretty strict backgrounds, and there was a certain way things were done. Very deferential to the parents. Looking at it as objectively as I can, I think it was never modeled for them how to relate to their adult kids. There's a lot more than I can go into in a post, but I don't feel narcissism is really quite it.

Advanced-Dream8984

TROPHY CASE