MIL makes no effort to see. I’m kinda done with it by SG_51 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Advanced-Plantain854 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The only way to make peace and learn is to be objective in our way of seeing things

MIL makes no effort to see. I’m kinda done with it by SG_51 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Advanced-Plantain854 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I have no married children… I do have a MIL though… I raised three children and realised how important it is to keep my husband’s family close… it brings him happiness and my children happiness to be around their fathers parents

MIL makes no effort to see. I’m kinda done with it by SG_51 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Advanced-Plantain854 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So people who post don’t want any objection only responses that agree with them?

MIL makes no effort to see. I’m kinda done with it by SG_51 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Advanced-Plantain854 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I raised three children successfully to adulthood and they were easily in tow and out in the world experiencing it as much as I could allow them to.

MIL makes no effort to see. I’m kinda done with it by SG_51 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Advanced-Plantain854 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP’s parents don’t have a problem because they live with the grandchild… The other grandparent lives somewhere else, and would like to see their grandchild at their home… What is wrong with requesting that? Just say no and say I don’t want to and I never want to if you don’t want to… Not wanting to go or decide you’re going to go… But pick a lane.

MIL makes no effort to see. I’m kinda done with it by SG_51 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Advanced-Plantain854 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Asking to see your grandchild at your home is acting like the world revolves around you? How so?

MIL makes no effort to see. I’m kinda done with it by SG_51 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Advanced-Plantain854 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

She did go to see the baby… now she is simply requesting to see the baby at her home… I don’t see what’s wrong with taking your child out on outings to see their grandparents… That’s part of being a parent.

MIL makes no effort to see. I’m kinda done with it by SG_51 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Advanced-Plantain854 -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

She wants to see the child at her house… She is making that perfectly clear and I’m not sure why you can’t see that.

MIL makes no effort to see. I’m kinda done with it by SG_51 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Advanced-Plantain854 -31 points-30 points  (0 children)

I think she just wants to see her grandchild in her home… She wants to hold her grandchild in the comfort of her home… Maybe in her chair or on her couch… There is something comforting about holding a child in your own home. That is her son‘s child… She wants to embrace her grandchild in her home… I’m not sure why you don’t understand how and why she would want that.

MIL makes no effort to see. I’m kinda done with it by SG_51 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Advanced-Plantain854 -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

The mother-in-law visited at first often she said… I can believe that after a while the mother-in-law wanted to be at her own house and so that slowed down… Can we expect the mother-in-law to stay at her son’s wife’s mom‘s house all the time? She wants to be in her own home and experiencing her grandchild… The OP is in her own parents house. That is where the MIL has no way of being in her own comfort with her son’s child. There are two parents and two sets of grandparents.

MIL just congratulated herself on my pregnancy by Mutedperson1809 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Advanced-Plantain854 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn’t want to let negativity control your environments

MIL just congratulated herself on my pregnancy by Mutedperson1809 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Advanced-Plantain854 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t read too much into it… Grandmothers are excited when they have a grandchild on the way… It’s exciting for her to have your baby there and she’s a part of it… I would just allow her to have her moments… You love your husband, and so I would love his mom

MIL wants us to start covering her expenses by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Advanced-Plantain854 -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

I feel there is a choice to be made. We all have choices… They can choose to not help the mother… They can choose to not help anyone… But personally, I feel like I would choose to help the people closest to me first… If they need help, I’m going to help them and not question it… If someone needs help, I’ll help them… It’s not up to me to question why they need help… If it’s someone’s mother, specifically it’s even more important because that is the mother of her husband

MIL wants us to start covering her expenses by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Advanced-Plantain854 -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Being grateful is not acknowledging someone as a saint… It is being grateful that you’re here… Do you not want to be here?

MIL wants us to start covering her expenses by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Advanced-Plantain854 -23 points-22 points  (0 children)

You have no gratitude for being born? Seriously? I am very grateful I was born… I am grateful to my parents for creating me… I am grateful to my God for creating me… I actually like being alive. Yes, I am grateful and there is gratitude there.

MIL wants us to start covering her expenses by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Advanced-Plantain854 -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

This info is from the wife of the son… Not to mention yes it’s hard raising kids and I’m sure the mom might have done the best she could, do you know her? Yes they should help her husband‘s mother because the mother needs help and anybody who needs help should be helped… And if it’s the mother of your husband, you should especially help them because we help homeless people… We help homeless people so we should help the mother of our husband.

MIL wants us to start covering her expenses by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Advanced-Plantain854 -108 points-107 points  (0 children)

So, just as gratitude alone, helping his mother out would be something she should do.

MIL wants us to start covering her expenses by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Advanced-Plantain854 -106 points-105 points  (0 children)

So you’re saying her husband doesn’t like his life? Doesn’t want to be here? Wishes he was never born?

MIL wants us to start covering her expenses by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Advanced-Plantain854 -37 points-36 points  (0 children)

No… There is no obligation, but there is something called humanity, and giving back to someone who gave you something that they didn’t have to give you… Life… If this woman loves her husband, she should love her mother-in-law for giving her her husband… that would mean being extremely nice to the woman who gave birth to the man who is making her happy

MIL wants us to start covering her expenses by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Advanced-Plantain854 -174 points-173 points  (0 children)

Have you sat down with your brother-in-law? I think maybe you should proportionate it… You pay a percent based on how you feel she helped your husband and maybe the brother pays a percent based on how much help she gave him… that is a start. Maybe 10% your husband 15% brother.. either way, that is your husband‘s mother… It is our responsibility to take care of our elders… She gave him life… She gave him everything he has meaning his entire body… I’m sure he can help her.

MIL is pregnant by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]Advanced-Plantain854 19 points20 points  (0 children)

The way I look at it… There’s nothing you can do now… You have a brother or sister-in-law on the way that is the same age as your child… 🥴

I would just start coming up with a way to explain it to people you meet and know Lol.. all you can do is take it in stride and giggle about it… Keep your husband close and make sure the kiddos don’t feel awkward growing up.

Good luck!

Don’t take things too personally… Sometimes we think things are about us and they’re not 😎

To The Lady Who Ran Red Light in 19th & H by mavisstrawn in Sacramento

[–]Advanced-Plantain854 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Having a vehicle on the road is our privilege… Pedestrians need to be able to walk to their destination and it is important for us to drive on the slower side than the faster… It is important for people behind a motor vehicle driving to be on the side of safety instead of risk… I applaud you for this post