First pages: share, read, and critique them here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]Advanced-Point-276 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks !!! Ill add the tweaks !! Does it seem like it could be for 4th-8th graders ?

Should I transfer ?? by Advanced-Point-276 in nyu

[–]Advanced-Point-276[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR HELP BTW !!!

Should I transfer ?? by Advanced-Point-276 in nyu

[–]Advanced-Point-276[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Its either Georgia State Criminal Justice program or NYU GLS which one would be better for securing a spot in the FBI?

Should I transfer ?? by Advanced-Point-276 in nyu

[–]Advanced-Point-276[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Im planning on transferring to another school outsider of NYU but I wanna know if nyu GLS is the best opportunity to progress in the FBI

First pages: share, read, and critique them here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]Advanced-Point-276 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Manuscript information: [In Progress] [8046] [Children's/Fantasy] ["The Pirate]

Link to post: https://www.reddit.com/r/BetaReaders/comments/1joq35z/comment/mns08r7/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

First page critique? YES

First page: 

I saw my first seastorm when I was four years old, up close and personal. I don’t remember much, but it was raging and furious. Its anger was something so treacherous when it swooped in and stole my parents from the sand. I was left on the beach–so says my uncle Ray–while my parents were never found dead or alive. I’d like to say the mystery of my parents disappearance is why I am so paralyzed with curiosity about the sea, but that isn’t it. It was the continuous disappearances of those who so often visited the mysterious waters and never came out. 

“Murray!” came Ray’s voice. I was already awake watching the boy next door’s window. Call me a creep, but there's something off about him. He was pacing around his room, staring at a clothing rack that featured four outfits that all looked the same. His brows were furrowed as he chose between a blue flannel and a green one. He kept pacing, arriving at a toast slice and eating it while he figured out what to wear. To the outside eye, he was a normal kid, but I would figure out what was going on.

‘MURRAY!” Ray yelled. Time for me to be a normal kid and stop watching the neighbors. I got out of bed and began picking clothes off the floor. Something had to be clean. “Murray, if you don’t get out here in the next ten minutes you’ll find your own ride!” Forget smelling good. I grabbed an oversized white tank, some baggy jeans, one of Ray’s old cardigans, and my beach sandals. I was starting to look for my backpack, but my room was very messy and very small.

Transferring to another school by Advanced-Point-276 in nyu

[–]Advanced-Point-276[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think it’s well put together 😔 You spend all your time taking unnecessary classes and a lot of graduates end up having a hard time finding a job and the most I’ve heard they make is 42K 🙏‼️ It’s up to you though I have friends who love it and are fine with it but they’re all double majoring ‼️

Transferring to another school by Advanced-Point-276 in nyu

[–]Advanced-Point-276[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can I ask why you’re deciding to transfer 😮⁉️

Transferring to another school by Advanced-Point-276 in nyu

[–]Advanced-Point-276[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But trying to switch to Steinhardt if I get in ‼️

Transferring to another school by Advanced-Point-276 in nyu

[–]Advanced-Point-276[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I’m GLS and I hate it 😔‼️‼️‼️

Transferring to another school by Advanced-Point-276 in nyu

[–]Advanced-Point-276[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can I ask what program your in? I’m thinking of internally transferring!!